Mindful of my Useful Illusions

It’s dusty in the quadrant. The queue at the tuck shop is never very long. I can buy my sweets quickly. Sweets in hand, happier now

Anxious but never really understanding why. Sweets have always helped change something. I’ve never really understood what. It’s the process of taking something away that has helped me understand my addiction. My total lack of control over myself and my need for sugar. I took away my illusion and my addiction got worse. So, the answer, has been to recognise my illusion – as an illusion – and then understand my need for it. I need the illusion of inclusion because this makes me feel less afraid; less alone. I’ve decided to keep the illusion because I feel happier and healthier with it. I feel less need for sugar. I feel in control. This is most surly a paradox of immense proportion. Is it not the case that illusions are a sign of my mind out of control?

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because there is no difference between illusion and reality. No difference at all as far as the mind is concerned

What does matter is that I’m mindful of what I need to do to be happy and healthy. My illusion of inclusion – that there are some people out there who love me and value what I say – is important for me to be less afraid and to feel in control of my sugar addiction. My illusion of inclusion keeps me sane. I’m in control. Happy with my illusion. And so thankful of my minds ability to cure me of my crippling loneliness. You are there as far as my mind is concerned and that is all that matters. I must be mindful that my illusions are not likely to do me or anyone else harm. And now you ease my suffering beautiful mind.