Mindful of the Game #4

How useful would it be if we were able to recognize instantly what the intentions of those we meet really are?

It is human nature for people to work hard to get what they want. Let’s say a couple have made some small alterations to their new home. These alterations have unfortunately left a hole in the wood flooring. This flooring was fairly new and had been paid for by the previous owners a few years ago. The new owners have pondered over how they can resolve the situation and discovered that the floor had been laid by a local company. It makes sense for them to approach this flooring company and get the hole fixed.

It’s quite possible these home owners know they’ve made a mistake in moving fixed items that the flooring has been laid around. A kitchen sink in this example

They’re uncertain on several counts: Firstly, the flooring company aren’t necessarily going to be interested in a small job such as this. And secondly, they can’t be sure if the flooring company does repair or restoration work. And so with this in mind, the couple approach the flooring company with a certain strategy.

They’re going to tell the guy behind the desk what’s going to happen. They’re going to effectively bully the companies representative into conceding that the company has some kind of moral obligation to fix their mistake. They’re going to tell the representative how easy it’s all going to be and how it really isn’t going to be any trouble to the company at all. They do in fact suspect it will be the direct opposite of this.

Fixing a hole, in tongue and groove flooring, is anything but a simple job. The wood needs to be matched. A small quantity of wood needs to be found (flooring manufactures do not supply in small amounts). And a carpenter will need to lift surrounding flooring and cut new pieces to fit. All of this takes time and money, but according to the customer, it’s an easy inexpensive quick job.

The manipulative and bullying home owners have succeeded in getting a surveyor from the flooring company to spend time and energy assessing the job. There is a feeling of resentment being felt by the company representatives

Consider how the situation would be if the representative had quickly established and understood the manipulative, bullying tactics being used. He would have been able to instantly play the game to his advantage. He could have answered their initial inquiry by stating that the company doesn’t engage with restoration or repair work. Restoration and repair work is a whole different thing to supplying and fitting new flooring. No fear of confrontation would have also helped the representative assert the best interests of the company.

The answer here is mindfulness. We must all be mindful of how we get our needs met. If we want to ensure there is no resentment being felt; that any engagement with our fellow man is amicable and peaceful, it is important to be respectful to all parties. It is possible to play the game so that we all win. Mindfulness would have shown the home owners that moving the kitchen sink was a very bad idea. They wouldn’t have needed to bully or manipulate anyone as a result of not damaging the floor in the first place.

We must ask: In what way are the manipulative bullies of the world destroying peace and stability, simply as a result of not thinking things through? Mindfulness, on the part of the representative, to the nature of the couples tactics,would have equipped him to deal with it in a way that left no resentment. He wouldn’t be left feeling resentful if he’d been better able to assert the companies standpoint. We must act without fear and at the same time be respectful of the needs of all.