I wake up in the morning, consider, and I feel rage
Silence. I consider the present moment and realise there is nothing to say. Only silence will calm this torrent of rage I feel. The power required to remain silent is the very power that will calm me. I will not scorn or laugh or shout. I will simply breath out red mist. I’m unable to criticise. I’m far too aware for that. This means I see you. I see you. Raise your awareness and fend off the behaviour I’ve considered. Shush.
We must use its energy constructively
This energy we feel must be focused and centered on where it will be of positive value to ourselves and others. When it is time to talk, make the words meaningful, and light. Don’t be as the violent journalists, we must only teach how to be, rather than how not. We must feel like we have a choice and the consequences of our choices explained. Harm no one and find a way to make your life as loving as possible. Feel the rage and focus its energy on finding a peaceful solution. Thinking about this helps us realise it will only ever be the way. We can never gain peace through violent use of our rage.
The need for stimulation is fine and creating the need for it’s opposite is also fine
Think of a child constantly seeking stimulation. When a child is stimulated, it’s often because a parent, carer, or teacher is attentive to them. They’re being entertained, educated, and played with.
When the child is stimulated in this way, the result is happiness, excitement, and growth. Ultimately, and for obvious reasons, we can become totally addicted to this.
On a personal level, the later part of my childhood was filled with the kind of stimulation fear brings: chaos
Interestingly enough, I feel that as a result of this chaos, my mind often craved calm. The only problem with calm is its seeming lack of stimulus.
Children who’re unfamiliar with calm, only knowing chaos, become very accustomed to the need for stimulation. We can end up conflicted, wondering about the exhaustion we often feel and why we can’t seem to turn off our need for constant stimulus.
Wanting is driven by our addiction and craving for stimulation
It harks back to childhood and the way in which we were stimulated then. The positive of this was experienced by lucky children who were encouraged to find stimulation through creativeness. We can easily recognise those individuals, especially those who continue to be creative all their lives.
Caution is advised, though, because craving the kind of stimulation creativeness brings does engender a degree of danger. However, the survivors of this danger are those who’re able to find balance and a calmness of mind in between their creativeness. Sting would be a fine example.
And so we can experience happiness, growth, and contentment if we have a healthy balance between our need for stimulation and our need for calm.
Learning to meditate, in order to find improved mindfulness, is the easiest way to begin finding this kind of balance. The alternative could well be a lifetime seeking to understand the conflict caused by our addiction.
When you hold someone today, do it gently. In your everyday activities make a point, today, of being gentle in all you do. When placing a cup down on a surface, do it so gentle, that it barely makes a sound. When you speak, make the tones quiet, slow and soft.
In everything you touch today do it mindfully and gently
I believe you’ll be surprised by the results. There really isn’t enough gentleness in the world right now. So if we make it a good habit to treat each other gently and to be gentle in everything we do, it starts to take hold, and becomes our reality. We become gentle in turn. We become gentle with ourselves. After all, it is to ourselves that we hand out the harshest critique and instigate the cruelest of punishments.
A welder or a blacksmith will tell you, it’s only by applying just the right amount of energy, do we get the desired results
Never mistake gentleness with weakness. It takes great strength to respond to anger with gentle reasoning. And it is this that ultimately gets the best results; lasting change. Show your enemies how to love and how to use the power of gentleness, and in time, it will become their reality also. Just be gentle.
There are those who, on the first signs of trouble, take to their beds, and disappear down into a depressive funk. And their are those who would thrive on this same trouble. What is it that makes the difference?
The easy answer lies in how well we’ve been equipped for life during our developmental years. If wrapped in cotton wool, cosseted, and pampered during childhood, we might grow to be fragile and overly sensitive to stress and worry.
Compared to someone who has grown up knowing little other than drama, stress and violence (physical and/or emotional) it’s certainly likely – the cosseted – will be less well equipped to deal with this side of life.
As strange as it may seem, a difficult childhood can leave us better equipped to deal with the inevitable stresses of life. With this in mind, it’s true that children must be protected with appropriate boundaries and sensitive parenting. However, at the same time, we mustn’t overprotect them. We must find ways to equip them for the ups and downs of life in the best ways possible.
There are always alternative consequences to consider.
If we find ourself scarred, as a result of being inappropriately exposed to the violence of adult problems during childhood, rather than equipping us, we can develop conflicts that cause us to shift uncontrollably between emotional states. Sometimes, we’re strong and on top of the world, and yet at other times, fearful and incapacitated.
So a childhood that can equip, can just as easily disable. It’s a little like the child who sees a negative comment from a teacher, for example, as confirmation of their poor self-belief, or uses it as a means to strengthen them. It can go one way or the other. Or is there an alternative to this black and white viewpoint?
Perhaps the ideal is the child who has the ability to remain indifferent to those who don’t actually understand how to love them. Consider the words: “You’ll never amount to much.” Are they based on fear or love? I feel the words: “Once you’re grown, you’ll be free to choose,” sound far more loving and empowering.
Coming back to the individual who’s likely to take to their bed at the first sign of trouble, we must understand that this kind of behaviour is rooted in the past. It got them something then, and the belief is it’ll get them something now. We could also call this a scar that has resulted in childish behaviour being echoed in adulthood. Conversely, if stress is seen simply as being part of life, then surly we’re able to simply brush troubles away, that would debilitate the adult-child.
Solving depression and developing a worry-free mind can seem complicated. The conditions and symptoms of depression or anxiety are simple to spot. It is unravelling the root causes that are a little more complex. One thing is for sure, once we see how the present often echoes the past, we’re able to break away from behaviour that belongs there. Put your feet on the floor, put your clothes on, and walk away from the past.
Practising Mindfulness 