Practising Mindfulness

Category: Clarity

  • Mindful Protection

    Gently bring the mind back into the present moment through focusing on the breath

    On the occasions, when we choose to open our minds to what the media is showing us, it seems like the world has gone mad. Has it ever been any different? Large scale conflicts are only symbolic of the turmoil and conflict our leaders are facing. Warped ideology (from our perspective) anger, fear, the need for control, the ego, et cetera, et cetera. All symptomatic of minds out of control.

    Take control of your mind. Take control of your life

    Self consciousness, self awareness, call it what you will. The greater our awareness of thoughts, and how they dictate the kind of life we live, the better. There are those who thrive on chaos. In fact they long for it because it’s all they know. I can relate to this. For much of my time I rejected all that was good in my life through my minds need to feed its addiction to chaos. Constant stimulation. Constant craving. The constant need to ease my loneliness. A loneliness fed by my need for chaos. Can you see the destructive cycle I was in? This is what so many of us are doing: Seeking to ease our loneliness. In the process, our minds take us unceasingly toward what we refuse to look at: Our fear and loneliness. It is us that’s creating the destructive cycle. It is our minds attempt to understand. Great leaders and philosophers of the past knew this and looked to help humanity in its struggles. Until we break the cycle, how will we ever understand? We cannot read and implement what the great leaders of the past taught us without first becoming aware.

    The solution, countless enlightened individuals have found is, mindfulness

    With practice we can get to the root of what we are. We can find a calmness of mind, underneath the chaos, that reveals pure awareness. When we have this, we’re able to notice all the beauty that surrounds us.

    Personal circumstances matter not. There is suffering, yet our suffering can be eased, when we have clear insight into how it is us that amplifies our self-destructive tendency.

    We could choose anger

    Mindfulness helps us understand, it’s what we choose, that determines the quality of life we experience. No matter your circumstances, through learning how to take control of your mind, you empower yourself to make the right choices. If you want purpose in your life make it the development of mindfulness. Develop a beautiful mind. People with purpose make their own choices. Not those dictated to them by others.

  • Mindful Gameplay

    Winning the game of life is accomplished when we’re aware

    Currently, there are some very intelligent minds creating the belief that the universe is a simulation. So tangled have they become, with trying to make sense of it all, that they’re now beginning to postulate that the universe acts very much like a quantum computer. The conclusion they’ve reached is that the universe is a simulation being played out on a vast computer set up somewhere in an alternate alien dimension. Some very intelligent people actually believe this.

    I’m not about to start debating this either way, because I don’t think there is anything to gain from that. In other words, it doesn’t matter a toss

    It doesn’t matter, because real or simulated, we’re all still experiencing life (some more than others) and real or simulated it’s a game either way.

    Treating life as if it were a game is sensible on many levels. Not because it makes the business of living life any less important. It’s because learning gameplay helps us to navigate, what can seem on the surface, a very complicated affair.

    Establishing the rules and playing with awareness eases the way
    • Learn to love one’s self
    • Become aware of fear based gameplay (do you need to control or are you being controlled? Are you being manipulated or do you seek to manipulate?)
    • As much as possible make life decisions based on compassion and love. Ask yourself, what would love do?
    • Always act with integrity
    • Be present (to what extent are you allowing the past or future fantasy to influence your choices?)
    • Learn to meditate and practice daily
    • Be mindful of thoughts and behaviour and how they influence your feelings
    • Be mindful of allowing your feelings to overrule reasoned thinking

    Listed above are just a few simple rules you must play by. If you want to win, remove your confusion, and follow one set of rules only. The correct set.

  • Mindful of Others

    It’s very easy to forget that mindfulness includes the awareness of how others choose to behave

    For some time now I’ve followed a rule that concerns the preservation of my own wellbeing. After all, if I’m going to look after my mind, through the process of mindful awareness, then it naturally follows, that I must be mindful of the behaviour of others towards me.

    The rule is simple: If others are unable to respect my time, privacy and feelings, they will fail to gain my attention

    This is important because – just as you should – I believe my time, privacy and feelings need protecting. They are important. Important, because how we use these things, determines are general wellbeing. The loss of my attention, as is the loss of anyone’s (that we may have fought hard to gain in the first place), is also something I believe others should be cautious of.

    We all have something valuable to teach each other

    If you no longer have my attention, it could well mean that your suffering will remain unaltered. We can all change the suffering of each other. Some can make this worse, some can improve our lives. Ceasing watching the news is good example of this. Since I’ve stopped watching or listening to the news my mindset has changed for the better.

    Privacy must be respected because this is a direct reflection on how important we believe time to ourselves is. Your time must be respected because time is very precious. Time is all we have. Feelings must be respected because they influence our choices and thinking.

    Feelings must be understood if we desire control over our thinking and choices. If others are unable to respect your feelings it reflects on how they understand the importance of their own. If this is lacking, spending time with such people will prove stressful. It’s very easy to dismiss these words as unimportant, yet if you want wellness, always remember to be mindful of others.

  • What Does it Take?

    What does it take to believe that we ALL hold the key to a beautiful life right there in our hands?

    I asked myself: Why didn’t I simply believe what I was being shown twenty five years ago, instead of creating the turmoil, I’ve experienced since? And I understand why. I understand that I didn’t have the courage and strength to look deeply enough into the root of my loneliness. I didn’t want to see how truly alone I was and still am. This alone is the alone we all have. We are all alone within our own minds and much of what we are doing is an attempt to escape this.

    Through looking deeply into my loneliness I understand that I have always felt this way

    And so much of my behavior over the years has been an attempt to ease this unrecognised yearning to feel less lonely. Almost everything: Pleasing people in an attempt to keep them close. The jobs I’ve done, money I’ve earned, and drink and drugs I’ve consumed. When I did finally look at the root of my loneliness it felt like I was going insane. Such was the pain, it felt like I was breaking in two.

    And I believe now, that having come through the other side, fear is no longer the obstacle it once was. What it took, was a true acceptance that I have the solution to cleaning up my life, easily, within my grasp. It took for me to finally accept that I was in charge of all my joys and sorrows. That it was me creating my good and bad experiences: That I am what I think I am, therefore, I am my thoughts. And when we have control over our thoughts we have control over our lives. It really is this simple, and what was clouding my engagement with this, was my determination to avoid looking deeply at loneliness. I was not accepting of myself. In the process all I created was my own personal hell.

    I feel anyone who is experiencing difficulties, and seeking a way out of this, must stop avoiding the self

    Many years ago I wrote about loneliness being the result of loneliness from the self. A failure to be in touch with ones self. Even seeing this and writing it down in a book was insufficient. So great was the fear and anguish. What I needed to do, was to clearly see and feel, all the pain and anguish of the lonely little boy I remained.

    And so, if you want a fast track to a beautiful life, look at what you hold in your hands right there in front of you. Believe the solution is easily within reach and it will be. Paradoxically, looking deeply into our suffering, means we stop choosing it as a life option.

    Learn to be aware of yourself; your thoughts, and award yourself the power, to create a beautiful life.

  • House Clearance

    My partner’s father recently passed away and now there’s a large house and double garage to clear. For over fifteen years, nothing has been thrown away, everything has just been put somewhere out of sight. As they say: “Out of sight out of mind”. I wonder if that’s really true?

    I’d rather you didn’t think I was judging the old man. Many of us have houses full of stuff we no longer use or need. As far as my partner’s dad is concerned, he had health issues. His wife died in 2007 and his son also died just last year. And so things had sort of built up, I suppose. There is even a Nissan Patrol 4.2TD in the garage, that hasn’t seen active service, for many years. I got it running the weekend just gone, but can see I’ll need to replace the brake lines before we can move it anywhere. Fix the breaks, pump up the tyres, and sneak it down south for an MOT.

    It can be hard work clearing out houses. Especially ones where so much stuff has been hidden away. Old bikes in the garage roof space. Piles and piles of old books. The old man actually built the house, with the help of the rest of the family, so there’s even leftover building materials to get rid of. So much stuff to dispose of

    We have made a start. I started to feel a little depressed when spending so much time down at the recycling centre. I wondered: How much of this stuff is actually recyclable? Not a lot. Best to just chuck it. It’ll get burned or crushed and buried. Quite cathartic to be disposing of all the garbage.

    With mindful breathing we say: “Come home to your body” When you become mindful of your breathing you become aware of your only true home

    In this way we can also become aware of the clutter that’s constantly been recycled through our minds. Far best to acknowledge this ‘clutter’ than bury it where it can’t be seen. When we acknowledge it, we can deal with it. Deal with it. It seems to me, that living in a house full of unwanted and unnecessary clutter, can be very depressing. Get rid of it now, never leave it there believing . . . Out of sight out of mind. This isn’t true.

  • Good Consequences of Awareness

    Just as it should be I’m looking to focus on the positive consequences of awareness. Initially, increased awareness can seem negative, and indeed we can’t have one without the other, however, the initial negatives are overtaken by the good, allow me to explain

    Some time ago I was sitting in a meeting of managers headed by myself. I was introducing myself; singing my praises and generally bulling myself up before my audience. I was telling these nine managers all about how successful I’d been at varies points during my working life to date. It wasn’t long before one of these managers pipped up: “It seems you’ve been very successful at everything you’ve done!” she said. I instantly understood this as a sarcastic dig at my egotistical rant, and rightly so. My response probably wasn’t as she expected, I simply said, yes, I have, and this is something I want for you guys too.

    Whatever you set out to achieve give it your all and never give up

    Once drawn to the discipline of meditation it became my aspiration to gain the most from it. Mindfulness or increased awareness is the consequence of regular meditation. There are then consequences to this improved awareness and there is one in particular I’d like to talk about today. That of emotions.

    Of late I’ve noticed more of my emotions seem very close to the surface

    The overriding emotion, I’m accustomed to being at the surface the majority of the time, has been anger. I know how this connects to my past and I understand the associated fear and it’s awareness that has shown me this. Now that the anger is beginning to dissipate, many other emotions have begun to surface. The best way to describe it is to say: I’ve come home to myself. I’ve begun to feel more human; more in touch with myself and my emotions. Another thing that’s there is a lot of sadness and regret. The regret is something I’m dealing with, and as far as sadness is concerned, I can ease this in one major way: filter what I expose my mind to.

    In the past I’ve talked a lot about the media and the importance of filtering what you expose yourself to. The danger of overexposure is the numbing effect. We become indifferent

    It could be said indifference to the human condition has its uses. If we become bogged down with the suffering, the media tells us about every day, it can be counterproductive. So, if we want to help, rather than becoming indifferent, I feel it’s far better to accept that we live in a troubled world and then simply switch the news off. It’s unnecessary to remind oneself of this every day. That said, I know switching off the news is very difficult. Much like sorting my addictions to alcohol, nicotine and sugar (that last one still lingers) switching of my addiction to the news has proved very tricky. I find now though, as a result of my improved awareness – of the present moment – watching the news has become damaging. It’s bringing me down. I can’t be indifferent whilst also being aware. What I can and must do now is make the decision to switch it off and find something else to do.

    The good consequences of awareness is how much more human we become

    All manner of things become brighter and more pleasurable once we’re aware. Aware, it can feel like a shroud has been lifted from your head. It’s as if a level of depression, that you didn’t even realise was there, has been lifted. I’m left wondering how many of us are walking around mildly numb. How many of us, in order to survive, have pushed our awareness and emotions down below the surface? Breath in now, come up for air, it’s time to wake up. It may seem difficult to begin with, but if we don’t do this now, most of us will go to our graves never really experiencing how it feels to be fully alive.

  • Discover a Different Form of Happiness

    It is slightly mind blowing to think that there is in fact a different form of happiness that we can cultivate and focus on

    We must firstly consider what it takes to touch on this other form of happiness. We do of course know the happiness we get from being amongst other people or from our consumerism. We can see the from of happiness we get from outside of ourselves. We feel it internally but the trigger is an external stimuli. Imagine the excitement of a night out with friends or a trip abroad. Image the feelings we receive when we buy something new. This is often what we’re taught happiness is about. I can even remember my own mother describing a child, who had everything they wanted in the material world, as someone who was very loved. Perhaps a way to rationalise her own inability to express love for her children in a tactile way.

    When we begin to see, that happy children aren’t necessarily from wealthy backgrounds, we begin to understand how innocence plays its part. Provided poverty doesn’t equal neglect, money, is actually irrelevant to a child

    One of the most important ways to discover, the form of happiness that exist within us, is the ability to be absolutely, fully, present. I’ve recently found myself with a responsibility I didn’t particularly want. However, understanding the importance of being present, has helped me, not only carry the burden easily, but to enjoy it.

    My sharing of a responsibility is easing the burden on someone else and that is giving me an enormous amount of satisfaction and pleasure. Being present during the process is enabling me to immerse myself fully into it. Whilst aware and present my mind is no longer seeking to be somewhere else doing something that carries less responsibility, or involves anther form of stimulation, that might be more fun. Mindfully working through my responsibility has taken any form of suffering away. When we want (to be doing something different somewhere else) we suffer. We could say that when suffering is removed happiness is what remains.

    This happiness is brought about as a result of fully immersing oneself in being alive. When we do this, pleasure can be derived from the most mundane of actions, because our happiness has changed form

    That’s right! The form of happiness has switch from an external stimulation to the simple pleasure derived from being present and alive. When we fully appreciate the pleasure of being alive – experienced when fully and absolutely present – we are happy. If we’re not fully present we’re not fully appreciating what it actually means to be alive. Our mind is somewhere other than here and now. Surly, when this is the case, are we not three quarters of the way to being dead? Be present and happy, through the mindfulness gained from learning how to improve your mental fitness, through proper meditation practice. Return to innocence now.

  • From Turmoil to Stillness (limitless potential)

    There’s a torrid restlessness driven by a longing that must be satisfied. The driving, to fulfill what the heart believes, is so overwhelming, that nothing can stop its progress. Only once you hold the potential in your hands will you ever calm the torment of a restless mind

    We’re all longing for something aren’t we? And how many of us actually know what it is we seek? Perhaps, like most, there’s a driving that comes from deep within that can’t be defined. We don’t understand this desire, we just blindly pursue it. We’re restless until all the pieces are in place. And yet what are the pieces? What is it we want?

    Even though we’re unable to define this longing within us; unable to see the end goal, we keep on striving for it

    It’s like the new born child who doesn’t understand hunger but just knows there’s something required. In order to survive the baby senses their needs. The methods used to gain these requirements is to appeal to its carer. The appeal is formed through crying and wriggling – to display restlessness – until soothed and provided for. Why should our minds now be any different? As long as we believe there is a requirement for our survival, that’s not being met, we will feel the very same torment and restlessness, experienced by the child.

    And what of us who’re unable to find this requirement? That, I would suggest, is most of us. There is no satisfying a restless mind that doesn’t understand what it seeks, and so stop your pretense. Instead, own up, to your incompleteness

    If patience is a gentle appreciation of potential, perhaps the turmoil will cease, when everything is in place. Perhaps, once the egg has been laid, the waiting is made bearable through the potential that grows within it.

    When you sit and meditate, seek the understanding of how it is you, that grows within the egg. What comes to you then, as a result of waiting patiently, is not the brief satisfaction – gained from achieving what it is you believed the requirement was – but the simple stillness of mind gained from acknowledging your limitless potential.

    Learn to meditate

  • The Calmest of Minds

    Nirvana can be understood

    I want you to imagine a state of mind that sits between thoughts. Imagine a moment where time has stopped. Imagine a moment where there is simply no desire to be doing anything other than what is currently happening. There is a sense of stillness.

    The silence is the result of there being no friction, no resistance. Total absorption in the present moment

    It involves an understanding of what you’ve been seeking all your life. You’ve been seeking this sense of calm but looking in the wrong direction. You’ve been seeking answers and solutions instead of acknowledging what your mind has been showing you for years. It is already what you are; where you are. Let go and allow your mind to show you now.

    Ask yourself what your mind has been showing you that is beyond craving, desire, needs or wants

    Don’t be fooled into thinking this is complicated. In fact it’s the simplicity that can catch us out. There are layers of deceit and lies that we must cut through to get to the truth. It’s all the clutter associated with the human condition. The lust for power. The need for control. It involves none of these things. What it does involve is the understanding that the human condition is exactly that: a condition. A state of conditioning. At the centre of our being there is a place devoid of conditioning. Devoid of the human condition of seeking power and control. Let these things go and nirvana will be within your reach.

  • Discover Reality and Stop Yearning for the Unobtainable

    Image by Joshua Woroniecki from Pixabay 
    Self-analysis can result in release from chasing the unobtainable

    We could spend our entire lives frustratingly seeking the love, acceptance and approval of a long dead parent, or we could engage in analysis and free ourselves. With that said, the discovery of truth can be excruciatingly painful, which is of course why most people look to avoid it.

    Finding your true self is how to achieve contentment

    And so how do we know when we’ve found our true selves? What does true self actually mean? The identity we discover, and much of what we choose to do, can be traced back to our childhood need for love and acceptance. As time moves forward the origins of our identity and drivings sink down to the unconscious level and the reasons for what we do go along with it. We just blindly go on not really understanding what the motivations were or are. And yet when we find frustration in our pursuits, bringing these now unconscious aspects to the surface, proves useful. This is how to discover our true self. We do this by recognising how we may be chasing the unobtainable. We then stop and choose pursuits that are based on reality.

    Your true self can be exactly what you want it to be

    Believe it or not, seeing the truth could help us decide to stay with our chosen identity and continue along the path we’re on, but instead of frustration, this time, we can find success. The difference being that we now understanding how our frustration was due to an unconscious yearning that could never be satisfied. The addicts (past or present) among us can relate to this.

    Addiction is driven by a longing that can never be satisfied. The addiction is there simply because the addict is trying to satisfy – or quieten – an unconscious longing or destructive emotion. I can clearly remember the alcohol, or whatever, just not quite hitting the mark. Ever.

    Freedom

    As a result of discovering the truth, we can make a conscious choice to either form a new identity, or continue with what we have. In either case we can experience freedom. Freedom from chasing illusions and the unobtainable. Our energy is focused in an entirely different way. We are no longer chasing shadows.