Practising Mindfulness

Category: Clarity

  • Realistic Power of Mindfulness

    Over recent times much has been written about mindfulness and the art of meditation. From changing brain waves, to the clairvoyance of Kadampa Buddhism, it’s all been covered. So, with this in mind, what follows is a brief and realistic assessment of what you can expect from improved mindfulness achieved through regular meditation.

    • An increasing sense of control over impulsive behaviour.

    It’s so often the case that excessive consumption (of anything) is simply due to an unthinking attitude. As a consequence of training the mind to remain predominantly present – in the now moment – we gain greater control over the cravings associated with excess. Often it’s placing our thoughts into an imagined future, in an uncontrolled manner, that causes us to generate desire.

    • Increased freedom from the anxiety associated with worry.

    Worry, in its simplest form, is thinking about a future event and applying a negative outcome. Once again, when we’re able to distance our thinking from an imagined future, we free ourselves from worry.

    • Increased awareness of the nature of thought.

    Meditation is the study of mind. This definition is one of the reasons for dismissing the notion that meditation is boring. Curiosity is the cure to boredom. Through raising awareness of our thoughts we begin the process of improving our self-talk. It’s how we speak to ourselves that determines much of our outlook and experiences of life.

    I am what I think and, therefore, I am my thoughts – GOLD Counselling  

    • An increasing sense of calm and peace of mind.

    Calmness is achieved through quieting the mind. The ability to relax the bodymind comes with time and practice. The first step is to form the good habit of meditating daily. Once this is achieved we can then slowly and gently raise our awareness to what might be troubling us. Successful meditation is when we’re then able to gently allow these thoughts to drift through the mind, and away, to be replaced with an alternative focus.

    • Improved focus and clarity of mind.

    We’ve all experienced the cloudy muddled thinking that comes with stressful modern living. We want everything, and we’ve earned this right, however, taking the time to calm and quieten the mind, awards us the power of focused clarity. 

    • Altered perception of time.

    As any good mechanic will tell you, keeping a car’s engine in good order doesn’t take time, it saves time. As such, resting the mind if only for ten minutes a day, during our waking hours, helps us to begin the process of fully engaging with all that we do. Releasing ourselves from the burden – of being addicted to mental stimulation – awards us the prize of more time. The greater control we have over our minds, the better able we are, at managing our time.

    So there we are, realistic goals, yet powerful ones, all the same.

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  • A Peaceful Journey Now

    “Those who know don’t talk, those who talk don’t know. Close your mouth, block off your senses, blunt your sharpness, untie your knots, soften your glare, settle your dust. This is the primal identity. Be like the Tao. It can’t be approached or withdrawn from, benefited or harmed, honoured or brought into disgrace. it gives itself up continually. That is why it endures.” – Lao Tzu

    Take some time to read and digest my analysis of this ancient wisdom. Later, the text in the headings, is to be learnt by heart. In this way, you’ll create a sense of safety and security, as you return to it, each time, you meditate.

    Those who know don’t talk . . .

    We become silent once we understand how forming and expressing opinions trap us. The beliefs our opinions are based on may be outdated and incorrect. If we form and verbalize them we compound them. Silence starts the process of freeing the mind.

    Those who talk don’t know . . .

    Actions speak louder than words. Our behaviour sets example and this will always be the most effective means of influencing others. Commanding the ear is one of the most challenging things we can attempt. It is rare that we are heard. We talk until we understand.

    Close your mouth . . .

    Become accustomed to silence.

    Block off your senses . . .

    Close your senses to those things and people that disrupt your peaceful state of mind. This includes the ramblings of the media; their judgmental and childish opinions on all things. The world begins to change according to your state of mind alone. Filling it with the opinions, hatred, propaganda, fear and willful mind games of the media, has no value and serves no purpose.

    Blunt your sharpness . . .

    A sharp knife is useful when preparing a meal. A mind that is overly excited or overstressed is running beyond it’s design capabilities. Let the knife do the cutting. Calm yourself, learn patience, breathe deeply and approach everything in a relaxed, mindful manner.

    Untie your knots . . .

    Consider the amount of conflict in your life. A knot is a sticking point. If you’re uncertain about something, cease thinking about it. Better still, remove it from your life, entirely. Worry and repetitive thinking is pointless. You didn’t ask to be born and yet you are here. It was the pleasure of others that created you. Therefore, it is right and proper that you should seek to enjoy every moment of your life, free from knots and confusion.

    Soften your glare . . .

    Your eyes are beautiful. Avert your eyes from what upsets you. Gently look upon those things that make you smile and bring you pleasure. Never look upon things in judgment. You have no right to make a judgement with a harsh look, just as no other, has the right to judge you. Looking harshly, we fail to see the beauty, that surrounds us.

    Settle your dust . . .

    Walk slowly and calmly among the people. Never raise a storm, always speak in soft and gentle tones. Anger and frustration, at those things we have no control over, only unsettles us from our peaceful path.

    This is the primal identity . . .

    All of the above resides within us. Imagine what happens to us when we start to believe that love is what we are.

    Be like the Tao . . .

    Adopt and follow beautiful, useful philosophies, and beliefs.

    It can’t be approached or withdrawn from . . .

    There is no need for us to seek something we already possess, all we need do, is raise our awareness to our true nature. Once we find this, it becomes impossible, to ignore.

    Benefited or harmed . . .

    Nothing can be added to an ingredient that is already perfect. It is impossible to harm something untouchable. You either know it or you don’t. It is what you are.

    Honoured or brought into disgrace . . .

    Again something that is untouchable has this neutrality. We cannot honour or disgrace something that is free of want. It just is.

    It gives itself up continually . . .

    We only know what we have once we give it away. When we recognise something there is a continuation. A river must keep flowing, because without this flow, it becomes a stagnant pool. We must accept that the things we give away become self-perpetuating.

    That is why it endures . . .

    What remains after we are gone are the things we freely gave away. Never the physical, but the kind words, the gentle consideration to others, the love and compassion. Generation after generation, will be affected by your actions and words, forever. As the Tao, Love endures.

  • What You Need

    The mind will always provide what you want, and yet, what exactly do you want?

    There’s something very special about human intelligence. There are a lot of things that we don’t fully understand about compassion and our ability to read others and their wants.

    Many years ago, when I first started out as a Hypnotherapist, clients would often send me thank you cards. So much so, that in my waiting room, I started to struggle for space on top of filing cabinets etc. As I reflect on that time, it’s possible to understand why; it was something I needed. Not on a level fully recognised by me you understand, it was a message I was sending out, unconsciously. My clients actually wanted me to succeed and felt the need to encourage me.

    In what I’ve just stated I once again find myself facing one of the beautiful ironies of life

    As a Therapist, I’m in the business of helping people. In this respect surely it’s not for my clients to be helping me? But of course any interaction between humans, is going to be interlaced, with the unexpected. And the relationship between client and therapist can be an extremely complicated one (less so for the Therapist). That said, we must never underestimate the capacity we humans have, for showing love to one another, in unexpected ways.

    It’s a very strange thing to assert, that even if this is only in our imagination, the mind will always provide what we want

    Much of the communication between us humans is done at an unconscious level. And it all gets very interesting when we realise that the mind always provides what we want, even if this, is something unpleasant. If what we believe, about our fellow man for example, has been built on hatred, anger and intolerance, then this is exactly what we will receive. The mind will provide exactly that. And what we want, from moment to moment, is confirmation, of what we believe.

    If you want a beautiful life, the trick, is to simply believe in the possibility and how to find it

    At a very basic level we humans don’t need a great deal to survive. Surviving and thriving can be two very different things though. For example is a thriving life achieved simply through our needs being fully understood and met? It’s important to remember, we all have the same basic needs, but very different wants. One person can very well believe they’re thriving with only their basic needs met. For others thriving means something very different. Perhaps these are the people the lottery fund is dependent upon. People who are always found wanting.

    The advice to acknowledge, must be to seek out love, and the need to understand it

    A common misunderstanding is that love is self-sacrifice. Giving of oneself, so we may gain the pleasure of seeing loved ones thrive, can never be about sacrifice. In the past we might have been told that people have given up a lot for us, or made some kind of sacrifice, but this is a lie.

    It can never be a sacrifice to give of oneself so those we love can thrive. We gain pleasure when we love. It must be a pleasure to give, because if it isn’t, this is something else entirely. We may even be seeking to control others with giving. In fact, if we want others to believe we’ve made sacrifices for them, this is all about needing control.

    Man’s need for control over other men is ever present

    This is especially the case from those who have very little control over themselves. There are times when we all feel a little out of control. This self-control is regained once we realise something fundamental: There are many things in life that are beyond our influence or control, and so much of the suffering in life, is caused through our want to chase those things, we have no real need or aptitude for.

    It’s how we view life that is important

    It’s how we react to events that determines our level of happiness. If what you are striving for seems illusive, change your perspective. It could well be that the thing you’re striving for is already where you’re at and you’re just not seeing it as such. For example, you might – on a conscious level – see success as one thing, and yet all along, the unconscious mind has been viewing things very differently. The way your unconscious mind is seeing success, may well be the very place, you’re already in! An interesting thought.

    So to sum up, it’s all about understanding the wants and needs of your mind. Your wants are built on your beliefs. What you unconsciously want, may differ greatly, to your conscious desires.

    When this kind of conflict exists the result is suffering. Suffering is eased when we have greater understanding of our unconscious beliefs. At it’s basic level, all you actually need to be a successful human being, is some of that magical ingredient called love. Send that out and it’s a need that’s easily met.

  • Decide Which Belief to Focus On

    Discover the foundation

    In order to begin the process of freeing yourself from a limiting belief it will prove very useful to consider what it was founded on. Way back, when we first learned our beliefs, they will have been founded on emotions. The stronger the emotion the more apparent and prominent the belief. So let’s simplify things a little, and work with just two emotions, those of fear and love.

    If, for example, you believed that a certain activity were dangerous, there’s a good likelihood you would avoid it. This would be the case even if the activity were likely to broaden you as an individual. When we think of it there is an element of danger in many activities, even crossing the road holds risk. Most of us however, are fortunate enough to have been instructed on the sensible way to cross roads, and have been awarded a healthy respect for speeding cars. But what about something else? What about the beliefs we hold about ourselves?

    Let’s say we believe ourselves to be weak and it was a fearful experience that caused its formation

    Perhaps we backed down whilst being bullied or were submissive when abused as a child and this is seen by the mind as weakness. There may well be a sense of guilt underlying the belief due to our shame of submission. We ask ourselves: why didn’t I fight the bully? Why didn’t I report the abuser? Of course, once we have the opportunity to review such experiences, we’re enlightened to all the relevant details the mind has since chosen to ignore. Such as the size of the bully and the fear of getting a beating or the consequences of reporting abuse at the time.

    These details are often ignored as the mind focuses on the belief – weak. We can go through life being held back by such a belief. We can shy away from experiences that would broaden us simply because we believe ourselves to be this way.

    The ability to review childhood experiences also enlightens us to the reality of the existence of a belief’s opposite, which the mind is also choosing to ignore; in this instant, that of strength. It can take strength to walk away from a threatening situation rather than stand and fight. Our silence, in the face of abuse, is the strength to see the potential worsening of circumstances if we spoke up at the time. We needed to survive. Survivors of bullying and abuse often fail to see their strength as the mind becomes clouded by the predominant beliefs fueled by fear and guilt. But for any belief to exists its opposite must also.

    Change the belief with love, the opposite of fear

    It’s now that we must highlight the presence of opposites. Love is the tool we use. As adults we can easily review past hurts and regrets to recognise the beliefs formed. When we now apply love, we’re seeing these things as adults, and showing the inner child the kind of love, that will have been lacking at the time. With love we can show the child opposing beliefs and realise the benefits of seeing our inner strength, that has always been there, just never brought to the surface.

    Some examples of opposing beliefs:

    • Attractive – Unattractive
    • Healthy – Unhealthy
    • Fit – Unfit
    • Fat – Slim
    • Intelligent – Stupid
    • Confident – Unconfident
    • Strong – Weak
    • Good – Bad

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