Practising Mindfulness

Category: communication

  • Creating the Space for Reality

    Through stopping we create space and allow a different reality in

    Caution is advised.

    To stop the constant stimulation; the constant need to have some form of distraction, is to open up the space in our awareness, to see a different reality.

    There are times when the reality created for us, by certain aspects of the media and majority-thinking, can overwhelm. And we begin to think in ways that are filtered through victim-mentality and negativity in general.

    The human mind is at its best when being creative. Innovative ideas that help humanity become the masters of their environment only come about as the result of a certain type of thinking

    Creative thinking is one thing. Filling the mind with the distraction of television, books, games, films, or whatever, is an entirely different thing. It’s a form of stimulation that takes us away from our self; our own minds. We’re taken away from our conscious critical thinking.

    For example, the dormant, unconscious seeds of anger, and aggressive responses can be roused through watching violent films

    We might believe that we need this. There is nothing wrong with entertaining the mind in this way. However, if we never stop to give the mind space, we continue to delude ourselves. We continue to delude ourselves into believing the reality created for us is real.

    Through losing the need for constant stimulation and developing mindfulness, we create space. This space enables us to create our own reality, not the reality designed by others

    At first, when we stop and contemplate life, it can be a shock to the system. Realise that the distractions of the media, or that of films, books, socializing, games, etc., are the distractions of illusions.

    Our perceptions are clouded through what we distract ourselves with. Our interactions with others are filtered in a way that is biased to how the majority are being taught to perceive life.

    We might filter things in such a way that we become victims. We can fail to see how we may have created an aggressive or negative response from others

    As the saying goes: ‘there are always two sides to a coin.’ Through mindfulness, we’re better able to start seeing things through the eyes of others. We can build our compassion and empathy toward others. In this way, we help ourselves to see; it is our perception that is at fault. We begin to take responsibility.

    With constant stimulation and failure to make time to stop, we will never see the reality. The reality is that we are not victims but the perpetrators of our own suffering. With mindfulness, you can begin to create a balanced and more meaningful existence. Something created by you.

  • Mindful of the Game

    By taking a moment to process the kind of responses people give, can help to ensure the rules or purpose of the game, (it’s always a game) are fully understood

    Often, when talking to friends, family and partners, we can neglect to register the nature and true purpose of the interaction. Most importantly, there are times when the interaction has a nefarious root. Responses can be geared so that their effect, if not quickly realised, are unconsciously damaging. Subtle gaslighting if you will. Always slow and consider any potential hidden agenda when interacting with other game players.

    It may not be possible to read the true purpose of the interaction first time. No matter. Just acknowledge how the conversation or questions make you feel. In this way the next time you’ll be ready to play the game differently

    Consider something as simple as giving your opinion on how something looks. It may be that the true intention (unconscious intention) is to ultimately dismiss your opinions as worthless. Are you being lead to feel that your opinion will help to ease someone’s indicisiveness only for this to then be ignored? Does this happen often? Be aware of the game and learn how gaslighting in this way can be played to give others a harmful advantage. Harmful, because ultimately, it’s psychologically damaging. Once you’re aware (mindful), of their fear based advantage, it becomes neutralised. Your love based gameplay can come into force when you gently point out your awareness of their intention. They will of course deny any nefarious intention and this, once again, is just gameplay. Be aware.

  • Competitive Conversation

    If you’re one of those people who can pretty much get along with anyone you’re very fortunate. As for myself, getting along with others is something I’ve had to work on, and continue to monitor. Even so, every now and again, I’ll meet an individual who’ll manage to get under my skin.

    Now, because I take the time and energy to work at understanding people better, this has given me the added advantage, of understanding myself

    For example, a recent encounter has taught me a little more about my competitive nature (we’re all competitive to a greater or lesser degree) and helped me improve my listening skills. You may have experienced this yourself. Think about a time when you’ve been in conversation and the individual you’ve been talking to listens for a while but then leads the conversation around to their topic of interest. And if you should look to bring the conversation round to your topic of interest you’re practically ignored. Some have labelled this habit as being symptomatic of autism. I would prefer to call this Competitive Conversation. The reason for someone ignoring you and constantly dominating the conversation is simply due to their competitive nature. I recently met someone who does this to a pathological degree. And it annoyed me.

    Because it annoyed me, I was gifted with the understanding of how I can tend to do this due to my competitive nature

    I have since modified my behaviour and as a result improved my listening skills. I’ve needed to mindfully remind myself that I have nothing to prove and no reason to compete. I’ve needed, once again, to build my confidence. In respect to the individual who annoyed me, I suddenly realised, the reason he stopped listening, whenever I talked about myself, was because he couldn’t compete with what I was seeking to discuss. At first I thought he was trying to antagonise me, but as a result of thinking about it, I came to a better understanding.

    In conclusion, if you want to be a powerful listener, be mindful of how competitive your conversation might be. Be aware of how you might be unintentionally verbally bullying someone. Build your confidence sufficiently to help subdue your will. When there is no battle of wills you are the listener and become far wiser as a result.