Practising Mindfulness

Category: Healing

  • Mindful of the Truth

    In this reality, he sat next to the bed of the dying child and told her all about heaven. In an alternate reality, he told her this . . .

    We all die. Some die sooner than others. It is nature or circumstances that decide this. And it’s true that you will never see me again but that’s okay. Okay, because of what I’m about to tell you.

    There are many different elements that have made you who you are. Those elements, or parts, were already here before you were born. When you die, your body returns to the earth. All that you are is recycled and used again. You become the grass, the trees, and the blue sky. You, my love, will go everywhere. You will be in everything and that everything will be here for as long as there is a universe. And how long will the universe live? Longer than our minds can conceive of.

    Which reality we live in is, of course, a choice. If we chose a reality based on fantasy, what is this life? Is our life something vague and filled with conflict and denial? Are we wrapping ourselves in cotton wool created by lies? Facing the truth means experiencing the stark realities of life. And those realities, although sharp and focused, are the truth of a beautiful life

    When we have the courage to face our suffering and talk to our children with truths, only then will we live in a world that knows how to escape the madness. Always be mindful of the truth, and that way, you will find truth in everything. Love. Loss. Joy. Sadness. Life. Everything becomes clear. Life and death are beautiful then.

  • Mindful Gameplay

    Winning the game of life is accomplished when we’re aware

    Currently, there are some very intelligent minds creating the belief that the universe is a simulation. So tangled have they become, with trying to make sense of it all, that they’re now beginning to postulate that the universe acts very much like a quantum computer. The conclusion they’ve reached is that the universe is a simulation being played out on a vast computer set up somewhere in an alternate alien dimension. Some very intelligent people actually believe this.

    I’m not about to start debating this either way, because I don’t think there is anything to gain from that. In other words, it doesn’t matter a toss

    It doesn’t matter, because real or simulated, we’re all still experiencing life (some more than others) and real or simulated it’s a game either way.

    Treating life as if it were a game is sensible on many levels. Not because it makes the business of living life any less important. It’s because learning gameplay helps us to navigate, what can seem on the surface, a very complicated affair.

    Establishing the rules and playing with awareness eases the way
    • Learn to love one’s self
    • Become aware of fear based gameplay (do you need to control or are you being controlled? Are you being manipulated or do you seek to manipulate?)
    • As much as possible make life decisions based on compassion and love. Ask yourself, what would love do?
    • Always act with integrity
    • Be present (to what extent are you allowing the past or future fantasy to influence your choices?)
    • Learn to meditate and practice daily
    • Be mindful of thoughts and behaviour and how they influence your feelings
    • Be mindful of allowing your feelings to overrule reasoned thinking

    Listed above are just a few simple rules you must play by. If you want to win, remove your confusion, and follow one set of rules only. The correct set.

  • Something from Nothing

    How can something come from nothing? What happened before time? What was there before the birth of the universe? Can something really come from nothing?

    I sense my addiction to stimulation on a constant basis. Indeed there was a time when my need for stimulation was at the extreme end of the scale. I needed chaos. I needed mania. There had to be something going on constantly. And if not I would find a way to create the chaos I craved. Drama. Oh yes please.

    Imagine coming to the understanding that the thing you prided yourself on (thinking) has actually been the cause of your troubles.

    I used to spend a lot of time in my head. Loneliness will cause this. Thinking, judging, ruminating, puzzling, questioning on and on and on. Constant chatter and deliberation. Chaos in my head and chaos in my life. So here is the solution . . . nothing.

    In my current role I spend a lot of time doing nothing. There are periods of time when I don’t see a customer for days. This can be excruciating for someone who needs stimulation.

    There is a need to keep the mind occupied if you’re addicted to stimulation. This can take the form of thinking or perhaps reading or watching something. Anything to take the mind out of the present moment. Because in the present moment there is nothing happening. And for me, purely because of my addiction, this nothing can be very tricky to deal with. There is even the possibility I’ll look to fill this nothing with eating! Again my addiction to sugar kicks in. Can you gain a sense of my dilemma?

    A dilemma until I find myself able to cope with nothingness in the present moment. And then something does come from nothing . . . calm control over my mind and my beautiful life.

    Learn to improve mindfulness from the gentle art of meditation

  • Carrying Suffering that has no Place in the Here and Now

    Something that has come to light recently for me is the subject of suffering. In particular, I’ve become aware of the possibility, that I’ve been hanging on to suffering that occurred many years ago. To some extent we all do this. Can becoming aware, that we haven’t fully resolved and let go of past suffering, instigates the process of change?

    There is no doubt in my mind that if we continue to hold on to suffering from the past, it will reveal itself to us in ways that bring suffering, in the present

    Put simply, if we fail to resolve and let go of the past, our health will suffer. And in the present moment this might manifest as backache, hypertension, headaches, joint pain, obesity . . . you name it. As the saying goes: ‘The body weeps the tears the eyes refuse to shed.’

    We must find a way to extinguish the pain of the past. This can be achieved through firstly becoming ware of it, and then accepting it as past. It has no place or bearing on the present. It has no bearing on the present because it no longer exists. It is an imagined past (that could well be misremembered anyway) just as the future is imagined. We must also stop blaming the people and situations of the past. Constantly blaming our difficulties on the circumstances we faced in the past only exacerbates our problems. It never helps to seek blame.

    The present moment, void of past and future thinking, can create a beautiful freedom. Logical thinking can sometimes be very beneficial

    We can ask ourselves: how is it I still feel guilty for the mistakes I made all those years ago? The answer may well be that we’ve failed to acknowledge them and accept; that was then and this is now. That was what I was learning at that time. For some reason, only known to yourself, the mind sees a benefit to holding on and replaying the past. Guilt and self-pity can do this.

    In the same way we hold on to suffering from the past, are our expectations, concepts and ideas (beliefs) of happiness stuck there also?

    A common mistake is to assume that the conditions for happiness, we found when young, should remain the same throughout life. This cannot be the case. We have grown and therefore the conditions we have for happiness must evolve also. If we continue to seek the same conditions (imagined or real) in ways we did as a child, it simply won’t work. We’ll never fully realise our true self: A happiness that can come from within. Ponder for a moment: what conditions need to arise for me to feel well now? Now that I am grown what conditions must I maintain to bring out a true sense of joy?

  • Look Deeply Into Your Feelings and Be Free!

    No matter in what way you feel that you’re suffering, stop, experience the feeling, and look deeply into it

    Vast numbers of us deal with our pain and suffering through the coping mechanisms we’ve learnt. Without having learnt how to moderate our attachments to things and people we will of course suffer when they’re taken away. The ideal is to remain mindful of the type of love we exhibit to those around us and stay mindful of our attachments to impermeant things. Love, that’s based on ownership and desire, will cause great suffering to all, whereas love, that involves the need to empower those around us, and is built on understanding and compassion, will create a lot of joy and freedom.

    When we continue to deal with our pain and suffering through coping mechanisms, we’re never fully free, we’re simply coping

    It’s the process of stopping that we must acknowledge. In the past, when we’ve wanted to change a feeling, or try and distance ourselves from it, this is when the coping mechanisms have instantly kicked in. Instead, if we mindfully stop and notice the feelings, we’re then given the opportunity to look deeply at them and understand their root.

    Moving through our pain and suffering instantly frees us

    They say that suffering is a choice. And indeed it is when we know, and yet continue to ignore, that by exploring it and understanding its root we’d be free. Once we have this knowledge, and yet continue to use whatever means we have of coping, then we are in fact only choosing to put of our suffering. Its return is the choice we’re making.

    So stop, look, and listen. When we understand the root of our loneliness and then decide to love ourselves – through acknowledging the value of our feelings – we become free. Our feelings, whether happy, or sad and painful, must all be embraced. Until we do this, our wholeness remains illusive, and we continue to suffer. Think of a time when you’ve been fearful before a certain activity. Once you’ve moved beyond the fear all is well. It’s the same with our suffering. Move through it and be free!

  • All the things to Cultivate

    There are certain conditions that will make it hard to cultivate the following:
    • Love
    • Compassion
    • Generosity
    • Empathy
    • Kindness
    • Gentleness
    • Understanding
    • Acceptance
    What I find fascinating is, it’s the very condition of being human, that would have prevented me from seeking more of these things as a younger man.
    In fact, I wouldn’t have had a reason, to seek these things. The methods taught me to survive and cope with the madness were working. For so long, wrapped up in the western world’s belief in what from happiness should take, and how to find it.
    Perhaps, now that you’re reading this, you are ready to cultivate the things that really matter in life. If not, there’s every chance it will be a while, before you come back here. Don’t leave it too long.
    As a consequence of understanding how my condition would have prevented me seeking more of the contents of my list, I know that the most powerful way of helping others, to live with less pain and suffering, is to simply be the very example of what I now seek as an older man.
    If you’re ready to find more of these things, and would like to become a shinning example to others, this podcast is a good place to start. Be clear: there is no suggestion that we should all become Buddhist monks. No. The suggestion is that we begin to listen, and become further examples, of those who believe, not just in the power of love and compassion, but in all the things on my list.
    Begin to cultivate the things that really matter

  • Inwardly Outwardly Aware

    Brief inward focus can vastly improve our external experience of life

    It’s my experience that we must limit the amount of time we spend inwardly focused. Focusing on our internal environment, at times other than during meditation, can be counter productive. We have things to do, busy lives to get on with, and it is those of us who’re able to switch between inward and outward focus, at appropriate times- for the appropriate amount of time – that benefit the most from their mindfulness practice.

    It’s also my experience, that those who come along for therapy – and successfully focus intently and inwardly during this time – and then easily switch to being mindfully in the present moment – are the ones who benefit the most from the therapeutic process. Much of the change-work needed, as a consequence of Analytical Hypnotherapy, happens either during the therapy session or later when asleep. We must be able to fully commit our attention to everyday life at all other times.

    Meditate from between 10 and 40 minutes every day (inwardly focused) and work at being fully aware in the present moment (outwardly focused) at all other times. Following this simple principle ensures we’re not being overly absorbed – contemplating thoughts and feelings, so we can get on with the serious business of living life fully. Meditation, combined with Therapy (be this Hypnotherapy or a more drawn-out type of intervention) helps us to build on our ability to remove internal conflict and become increasingly present moment focused. Live life to the full.

  • The Grey Market

    Image by amh1988
    Your brain is a very delicate instrument that may not have been handle with care in the past, ensure it’s treated with respect now

    As with all things on the market today there’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. When it comes to mental health, one of the first things to be aware of, is the tendency for the mind to continue with familiar themes. What the mind knows and has become accustomed to will be the general theme pursued. To put it bluntly, if all you’ve ever known is an amateurish attitude to your wellbeing, then that’s unfortunately the very thing you will seek.

    To a greater or lesser extent everything is grey market. Buying a product from those who manufactured it is very rare. When visiting a therapist you’re not actually meeting the creator of the treatments

    So with this in mind, what we must look for, are the signs that identify the product or service, to have originally come from the genuine source. We must look to ensure corners aren’t being cut and that professional standards are being met. You cannot expect to feel better, through pandering to the minds whim, of pursuing the amateurish treatment it might have become accustomed to. Get to meet the genuine article and show your mind the respect it deserves.

    Home-based Hypnotherapy Services now available

  • Escaping the Influence of Illness

    I’ve bolted to my little hideaway 

    Sometimes solitude is the only answer. When I feel weighed down by the behaviour of others, I realise there’s no point in becoming angry, in an attempt to change them. Inconsiderate and manipulative behaviour, brought on by what is seen as the power of illness, is minimised when alone. Total solitude would mean I simply can’t be influenced by illness.

    It seems we all have something wrong

    We all have our problems don’t we? And yet, how would life be if we felt utterly content, well, and satiated? Would we wonder at this strange feeling of contentment and seek out a problem to spoil it all? I suppose we can feel content only for this to be spoiled by someone else, can we not?.

    Time away to enjoy solitude and escape the influence of illness

    Interestingly enough, if I searched for them, I could claim to have lots of problems, but what would be the point if in solitude? To revel in self-pity for no real reason? You see, when alone, there is no value to illness, it has no power and influence over others. I’m unable to control their movements and consume their time through illness when alone. My illness has no power, no purpose. I’m tired of the influence of illness.

    In addition to helping people understand their illness, my intention is to work with the well, teaching them how to build on this, through mindfulness.

    We must stop giving illness power – be well – learning how to spend time in total solitude, will help us all, gain the necessary understanding.

  • Decide Which Belief to Focus On

    Discover the foundation

    In order to begin the process of freeing yourself from a limiting belief it will prove very useful to consider what it was founded on. Way back, when we first learned our beliefs, they will have been founded on emotions. The stronger the emotion the more apparent and prominent the belief. So let’s simplify things a little, and work with just two emotions, those of fear and love.

    If, for example, you believed that a certain activity were dangerous, there’s a good likelihood you would avoid it. This would be the case even if the activity were likely to broaden you as an individual. When we think of it there is an element of danger in many activities, even crossing the road holds risk. Most of us however, are fortunate enough to have been instructed on the sensible way to cross roads, and have been awarded a healthy respect for speeding cars. But what about something else? What about the beliefs we hold about ourselves?

    Let’s say we believe ourselves to be weak and it was a fearful experience that caused its formation

    Perhaps we backed down whilst being bullied or were submissive when abused as a child and this is seen by the mind as weakness. There may well be a sense of guilt underlying the belief due to our shame of submission. We ask ourselves: why didn’t I fight the bully? Why didn’t I report the abuser? Of course, once we have the opportunity to review such experiences, we’re enlightened to all the relevant details the mind has since chosen to ignore. Such as the size of the bully and the fear of getting a beating or the consequences of reporting abuse at the time.

    These details are often ignored as the mind focuses on the belief – weak. We can go through life being held back by such a belief. We can shy away from experiences that would broaden us simply because we believe ourselves to be this way.

    The ability to review childhood experiences also enlightens us to the reality of the existence of a belief’s opposite, which the mind is also choosing to ignore; in this instant, that of strength. It can take strength to walk away from a threatening situation rather than stand and fight. Our silence, in the face of abuse, is the strength to see the potential worsening of circumstances if we spoke up at the time. We needed to survive. Survivors of bullying and abuse often fail to see their strength as the mind becomes clouded by the predominant beliefs fueled by fear and guilt. But for any belief to exists its opposite must also.

    Change the belief with love, the opposite of fear

    It’s now that we must highlight the presence of opposites. Love is the tool we use. As adults we can easily review past hurts and regrets to recognise the beliefs formed. When we now apply love, we’re seeing these things as adults, and showing the inner child the kind of love, that will have been lacking at the time. With love we can show the child opposing beliefs and realise the benefits of seeing our inner strength, that has always been there, just never brought to the surface.

    Some examples of opposing beliefs:

    • Attractive – Unattractive
    • Healthy – Unhealthy
    • Fit – Unfit
    • Fat – Slim
    • Intelligent – Stupid
    • Confident – Unconfident
    • Strong – Weak
    • Good – Bad