Practising Mindfulness

Category: Health and Well-being

  • Mindful of the Game

    By taking a moment to process the kind of responses people give, can help to ensure the rules or purpose of the game, (it’s always a game) are fully understood

    Often, when talking to friends, family and partners, we can neglect to register the nature and true purpose of the interaction. Most importantly, there are times when the interaction has a nefarious root. Responses can be geared so that their effect, if not quickly realised, are unconsciously damaging. Subtle gaslighting if you will. Always slow and consider any potential hidden agenda when interacting with other game players.

    It may not be possible to read the true purpose of the interaction first time. No matter. Just acknowledge how the conversation or questions make you feel. In this way the next time you’ll be ready to play the game differently

    Consider something as simple as giving your opinion on how something looks. It may be that the true intention (unconscious intention) is to ultimately dismiss your opinions as worthless. Are you being lead to feel that your opinion will help to ease someone’s indicisiveness only for this to then be ignored? Does this happen often? Be aware of the game and learn how gaslighting in this way can be played to give others a harmful advantage. Harmful, because ultimately, it’s psychologically damaging. Once you’re aware (mindful), of their fear based advantage, it becomes neutralised. Your love based gameplay can come into force when you gently point out your awareness of their intention. They will of course deny any nefarious intention and this, once again, is just gameplay. Be aware.

  • Mindful of Future Health

    It may seem like a contradiction to say we must be mindful of the future

    We are told that mindfulness involves being present moment focused. This is true. We can be mindful of the moment and everything that’s happening right now. In this way our focus of attention helps us to extract all there is from what we’re experiencing right now. Without judgement it doesn’t matter what we are in fact doing. We might be doing something as mundane as washing up and yet as long as there is no judgement, and the mind is focused now, all is well. If whilst washing up, we’re thinking and feeling we’d rather be somewhere else, then we will rush and become frustrated at what will soon feel like a chore.

    When we add the importance of mindfulness to our physical well being, and not just our mental fitness, we gain on many levels

    I’m going to talk here about food. Oh yes a favourite subject for many. And rightfully so. Gaining pleasure from food is to be encouraged. Certainly something that I can relate to here, is the importance of recognising when the pleasure of eating has drifted out of mindfulness, and into forgetfulness. There are times when we become forgetful. Forgetful of what we understand. Most of us understand that the pleasure from eating can become something used as a coping mechanism. We feel sad or depressed and eating can change this. In particular sugar. The effects of sugar can lift our feelings. Or alternatively, perhaps we regularly become lost in the present moment of pleasure and forget our future health.

    That’s right, lost in the present moment of pleasure we can forget how we’re eating and it’s possible effects on the future. Not only must we be mindful of the present, pleasurable experience of eating, we mustn’t get lost in this. Also remaining aware of the control valve we call self-discipline will pay dividends for the future.

    We can eat too much. What stops, those who have a healthy relationship with food, overeating? I would suggest it’s exactly what I’ve just laid out. A mindfulness of how a present moment activity can effect the future. We’re mindful of cause and effect. The control valve of self-discipline is governed by an awareness of the dangers of overeating.

    I’m aware that if I carry on with my addiction to sugar it will shorten my life

    I’m pretty keen on the idea of living a long life. And not just that. I’m keen on living a long and healthy life. As odd as the saying sounds: I’d like to die well. From this moment on, I must continue to be aware of the pleasure of eating, and at the same time, be aware of healthy limits. 30 grams of sugar a day to be exact. Lets all be mindful of our limits. And whilst enjoying the pleasure of the present moment, also remain mindful of how to live a long, and healthy life.

  • Your Awareness: A Completely Impartial Observer

    During meditation we can experience moments of realisation. During brief moments of silence, we realise that beneath all the chatter of our internal dialog, there exists a silent observer. We realise that this observer is our awareness. And at our core this is all that we are

    It stands to reason, that from the moment of our birth, we have experienced many things. It is our interpretation of these events that shape and decide how we see the world. How others act and how they interact with our actions and behaviours, determine the opinions we form about ourselves, and others.

    Initially, these things are ascertained from sights, sounds, tastes, and feelings. Do we feel threatened, or do we feel safe. We begin to ask: How must I act to continue feeling safe? What do I need to do to increase my sense of wellbeing, love, and security? What must I do to get what I want? Our beliefs and our identity (who am I?) begin to form from a very early age.

    What we believe we are is the sum total of the beliefs formed from our experiences. Thoughts result from the vast belief systems that now exist within our minds. We are what we believe we are. Our internal dialog is there simply to compound our identity forming beliefs. Who are you in fact talking to?

    During meditation we can ask this: Who was I just talking to? Was I talking to myself? Once our realisation holds that, beneath all the chatter there is only awareness, we begin to see how it is the minds beliefs that are creating identity. The next step in our development is to see the possibilities that are now forming. We can ask: If all that I am is this collection of beliefs, what beliefs must I lose and what beliefs must I start believing, to improve my quality of life?

    It’s a certain fact, understanding the nature of our beliefs, causes them to become more fluid. We can realise they only belong to us because we’re choosing to compound them. Much of what we believe about our selves can either be redesigned or disposed of altogether.

  • Embracing Existence: Finding Joy in Simplicity

    That’s it, just sit with me for a moment. I want you to sit with me and listen. Be attentive to my words

    I want you to imagine a mindset where you are happy and contented with only your basic needs met. This contentment has been brought about as a result of your full appreciation of the wonder of the very fact that you exist. From moment to moment you’re able to fully grasp the absolutely, extraordinary nature, of existence.

    It’s a little like dispensing with everything we’re told we must accomplish and experience during the course of our lives. It’s a little like imagining we’ve already done everything we’re conditioned to believe we must. It’s as if we’re happy and contented from the moment we are born.

    As we think about it now, isn’t a new born child, once it’s needs are met, happy and contented? Is it not the case, that a child is happy and contented, with only the wonder of it all?

    As we begin to allow our minds to become acutely aware of our existence, we can begin to become child like, once again. Before we were born, only the elements, that would later take the form of our human selves, existed. We were then conceived and spent approximately nine months growing in the comfort of our mothers womb. Now born we exist in the form of a human being. In time we will cease to exist in our present form, and the elements that made us, will return to the earth once again. How would life be if we were able to find happiness and contentment in the wonder of this. The fantastic wonder of our existence.

    You are breathing. You are existent. What more do you want?

  • Philtrum – Love Charm

    With his little finger he gently stroked the little piece of skin just beneath her nose. He didn’t understand why he was drawn to doing this. She said, “are you messing with my symmetry?” He didn’t know how to respond to that. Some time later, after their love affair had ended, she moved away to a Greek island, got married, and had a family

    Sit, cross legged, back straight, imagining a small piece of string gently pulling upwards from the grown of your head. There is a little strength in your abdomen, your lips are parted and your tongue is resting gently behind your two front teeth. Breathing through your nose now, noticing the temperature of the in breath, compared to that of the out breath. Your hands are resting inside each other in your lap, palms upturned, forming the shape of an empty bowl. Your aim today is to spend a short while focusing all of your attention on the area just beneath your nose. This is called the Philtrum.

    In Jewish tradition, each embryo has an angel teaching it all of the wisdom in the world while it is in utero. The angel lightly taps the infant’s upper lip before birth to prevent the infant from revealing the secrets of the universe; the infant then forgets the Torah it has been taught

    This focus on the Philtrum helps us to strengthen our concentration. When your mind wanders, and you become aware of this, gently bring your attention back to the Philtrum and continue . . .

  • The Bear in The Woods

    You are cross legged, your back is straight. There is a little strength in your abdomen. The air is still. You’re focused on your breathing; the air is passing in and out of your nose; your lips are slightly parted with your tongue gently resting on your two front teeth. You’re aware of the temperature difference in your nose between the in breath and the out breath. It’s a beautiful morning, pleasantly cool, just right. You’re facing the lake, eyes are half closed, and there is a faint mist gently rising from the tepid water.

    You are still and calm. You allow thoughts to come in and out of your mind and you sense your concentration improving. Your concentration on your breathing is improving. You’re beginning to exclude everything else from your mind. You are intently aware of your breathing

    All around the lake are woods. The trees are tall and lush; their leaves are a beautiful green. There are creatures in the woods, all going about their business: searching for food, seeking out mates, building their nests. There is one creature in the woods we might need to be wary of: A large brown bear.

    Normally, we would have no reason to be afraid of a brown bear, but this particular bear, is very hungry, restless and a little confused. He sees you sitting on the shore. He is trying to catch your scent but the gentle breeze is offshore and so he can only guess at what you are

    What you are is an enigma. The bear is silently watching you from behind the trees furiously sniffing at the air. Are you a danger to him? Are you edible? Are you an easy meal? Are you a plaything? Why do you not see him and run away? After all, surely YOU, can smell HIM?!

    The bear decides to approach you. His paws barely making a sound as he moves across the gravel. He is now beside you, gently sniffing. He’s never smelt such a thing before: A human, still, fearless and calm

    The bear becomes increasingly confused. He knows you know he is there, he sees you breathing, and yet you do not move, you do not run, you do not smell afraid. The bear becomes agitated in his confusion. He pushes at your arm with his nose. Your body rights itself and you remain balanced and still. The bear means nothing to you. You know he cannot make sense of you and the bear himself is becoming afraid. He emits a low growl from deep down in his throat.

    This sounds makes you aware of his fear. All you need to do now is tell him to move on. Gently, in a whisper, you say, ‘Go back to the woods now dear bear, there are small creatures there, far more appetizing then me. They know to be afraid and will make far more interesting prey’

    The big brown bear stands, turns, and makes his way slowly back to the woods. He knows the game is up, he has failed to aggravate you; to unsettle your calm. Your fearlessness has made you formidable.

  • Mindful Gameplay

    Winning the game of life is accomplished when we’re aware

    Currently, there are some very intelligent minds creating the belief that the universe is a simulation. So tangled have they become – with trying to make sense of it all – that they’re now beginning to postulate that the universe acts very much like a quantum computer.

    The conclusion they’ve reached is that the universe is a simulation being played out on a vast computer set up somewhere in an alternate alien dimension. Some very intelligent people actually believe this.

    I’m not about to start debating this either way because I don’t think there is anything to gain from that. In other words, it doesn’t matter a toss

    It doesn’t matter because, real or simulated, we’re all still experiencing life (some more than others), and real or simulated, it’s a game either way.

    Treating life as if it were a game is sensible on many levels. Not because it makes the business of living life any less important. It’s because learning gameplay helps us to navigate, what can seem on the surface, a very complicated affair.

    Establishing the rules and playing with awareness eases the way
    • Learn to love one’s self
    • Become aware of fear based gameplay (do you need to control or are you being controlled? Are you being manipulated, or do you seek to manipulate?)
    • As much as possible, make life decisions based on compassion and love. Ask yourself, what would love do?
    • Always act with integrity
    • Be present (to what extent are you allowing the past or future fantasy to influence your choices)?
    • Learn to meditate and practice daily
    • Be mindful of thoughts and behaviour and how they influence your feelings
    • Be mindful of allowing your feelings to overrule reasoned thinking

    Listed above are just a few simple rules you must play by. If you want to win, remove your confusion and follow one set of rules only. The correct set.

  • Getting to Grips with Illusions, Delusions, and Reality with Mindfulness

    Does it actually matter if we live our lives ignorant of our delusions and illusions? One thing is for sure, our minds are very adept at keeping our reality in line with our beliefs

    For me, it all comes down to value. In other words, is there true value in moving through life (or just for a measured amount of time) basing our thoughts and actions on those things that are far removed from reality? And of course, we must consider that delusions, from a subjective point of view, are reality.

    So perhaps all we need ask is whether our thoughts and behaviour based on delusions (our illusions are very easily disproved) are damaging to ourselves and others?

    Deluded people have very fixed belief on beliefs that are either plainly false or just unprovable. We can easily find examples of false beliefs held by an individual or individuals who go on to harm others. And so how do we determine which of our beliefs are deluded and which are correct and valuable?

    There is no doubt in my mind that mindfulness, brought about through regular practice of meditation, holds the key to keeping ourselves grounded in a useful, compassionate, and loving reality

    There can be no argument against the propagation of a state of mind that improves our awareness of thoughts and behaviour. When we’re able to ask ourselves, is my thinking and behaviour of value to myself and others? We are being mindful. We are thinking about our thinking and behaviour. We are mindful of what we are choosing to teach others.

    Are we teaching testable facts that have value to others, or are we adding to the confusion?

    That last question is very important. In order for us to live lives, with less suffering, we must have clarity. We must teach ourselves and those around us certainty. Less uncertainty, in how the world and society needs to operate and function, to reduce suffering, is a must.

    Learn to meditate, improve mental dexterity, certainty, and strength, and become more mindful

  • Live Moment to Moment and it’s Easy

    For all time I’ve wanted my life to feel easy and it’s been anything but . . .

    Until now. Until now because I choose to be present. Being absolutely present, in this moment, with no thoughts of the past or the future, or forming any judgments of anything whatsoever, means life is flowing and simple. Just flowing from one moment to the next.

    At times I’m left wondering, is it really this simple? Can life really be so pleasant? Without concern for the future, or guilt and regret of the past, it can. I mindfully remind myself what is required:

    NO JUDGMENT OF ANYTHING There is no right or wrong. Everything is unfolding as it should. Everything.

    THE PAST IS PART OF THE PRESENT What happened in the past happened in order to bring you to this place now. Wiser, calmer, stronger, and closer to acceptance of who you truly are (wholeness)

    THE FUTURE WILL UNFOLD AS IT WILL NO MATTER WHAT You can seek to influence the future and your energy will be wasted. Instead, stop your vain attempts to control events and/or people. Conserve your energy for improved alertness and awareness of the present moment now.

    Whenever life’s challenges feel disproportionate and I feel like I’m suffering I must remind myself of the above

    It’s said that suffering is a choice and it can take a very long time to understand this. Being predominantly present and mindful of thoughts and actions brings this into sharp focus. Suffering is created through a lack of awareness. When we are unaware of how we’re creating our suffering it continues. The cessation of suffering occurs when we see how our thoughts and actions generate it. And yes, it really is this simple. So simple, in fact, that it can take a lifetime to realise it.

    Cease suffering, and believe life can be beautiful, through learning mindfulness through meditation. And then all we must do is practice.

    “Of course you have a right to suffer but as practitioners you do not have the right to not practice” – Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Mindfulness Activist: Embrace Present Awareness

    Immediately we might think the word activist has no place in being used in conjunction with mindfulness

    I think the word activist is actually very fitting. It fits because mindfulness is a strong action that takes a high degree of concentration.

    When we are mindful we’re at home in the present moment. As the father of mindfulness so succinctly put it:

    “Our true home is not an abstract idea. It is a solid reality that we can touch with our feet, our hands, and our mind in every moment. If we know this, then nobody can take away our true home. Even if people occupy our country or put us in prison, we still have our true home, and no one can ever take it away.

    “You may wonder if the most wonderful moments of your life are already behind you. Or you may think the happiest moment of your life is still to come. But this is the moment we have been waiting for.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

    Using the words ‘Mindfulness Activists’ accurately describes how we must be if we’re to succeed at being aware the vast majority of the time. Try it out. Describe yourself as a Mindfulness Activist and bring yourself home.

    In other posts, I have mentioned the importance of being actively involved, from moment to moment, with meditation and mindfulness. Being actively involved surely means we become activists. Through this we are building strength of mind. This enables us to ensure that awareness of our thoughts, actions and reactions are always uppermost in our mind. When this is the case we are in control of our self. When we are in control of our self we are fearless in our activism.