Practising Mindfulness

Category: Health and Well-being

  • Curing the Pandemic

    What do we do when there’s a pandemic?

    Well, firstly, we all get terrified, and then we calm ourselves and focus on finding a vaccine.

    And so what do we do about the current pandemic?

    I wonder if you know which particular pandemic I’m referring to? If you’re mindful of your thoughts and behaviour you’ll be aware of your own fearful responses to situations. We might verbally (or worse) lash out at a partner or friend. We might seek to control people and situations. We might freeze and simply do nothing; limiting ourselves through fear.

    As is the case with many things, the simplest solution, is the most powerful

    It isn’t necessary to negotiate with our fear, this only keeps it alive. Instead, we must focus on understanding it’s nature; what exactly are we afraid of? Becoming aware of this through meditation and mindfulness instantly reduces it’s hold over us. Previously, we weren’t aware of the fear, and now that we are, we’re able to look beyond it. What is the worst that can happen? Switch on the light of awareness through mindfulness.

    The long term cure is available when we begin to water the seeds of love and compassion

    The antidote to fear is love. Let’s say, for example, the fear is that of rejection. Look at the root of rejection and we can see, once again, it’s illusory nature. Rejection has the potential to hurt us emotionally. The fear is of that pain. It is fear of fear itself.

    When we love ourselves sufficiently, rejection, holds no potential for pain. The love of the self is the antidote. Begin by watering the seeds of love and they will flourish. Finding these seeds within involves stopping and meditating. We follow this with constant concentration and mindfulness on our thoughts and behaviour. Which seeds are you watering today?

    Learn to meditate.

  • Something from Nothing

    How can something come from nothing? What happened before time? What was there before the birth of the universe? Can something really come from nothing?

    I sense my addiction to stimulation on a constant basis. Indeed there was a time when my need for stimulation was at the extreme end of the scale. I needed chaos. I needed mania. There had to be something going on constantly. And if not I would find a way to create the chaos I craved. Drama. Oh yes please.

    Imagine coming to the understanding that the thing you prided yourself on (thinking) has actually been the cause of your troubles.

    I used to spend a lot of time in my head. Loneliness will cause this. Thinking, judging, ruminating, puzzling, questioning on and on and on. Constant chatter and deliberation. Chaos in my head and chaos in my life. So here is the solution . . . nothing.

    In my current role I spend a lot of time doing nothing. There are periods of time when I don’t see a customer for days. This can be excruciating for someone who needs stimulation.

    There is a need to keep the mind occupied if you’re addicted to stimulation. This can take the form of thinking or perhaps reading or watching something. Anything to take the mind out of the present moment. Because in the present moment there is nothing happening. And for me, purely because of my addiction, this nothing can be very tricky to deal with. There is even the possibility I’ll look to fill this nothing with eating! Again my addiction to sugar kicks in. Can you gain a sense of my dilemma?

    A dilemma until I find myself able to cope with nothingness in the present moment. And then something does come from nothing . . . calm control over my mind and my beautiful life.

    Learn to improve mindfulness from the gentle art of meditation

  • Carrying Suffering that has no Place in the Here and Now

    Something that has come to light recently for me is the subject of suffering. In particular, I’ve become aware of the possibility, that I’ve been hanging on to suffering that occurred many years ago. To some extent we all do this. Can becoming aware, that we haven’t fully resolved and let go of past suffering, instigates the process of change?

    There is no doubt in my mind that if we continue to hold on to suffering from the past, it will reveal itself to us in ways that bring suffering, in the present

    Put simply, if we fail to resolve and let go of the past, our health will suffer. And in the present moment this might manifest as backache, hypertension, headaches, joint pain, obesity . . . you name it. As the saying goes: ‘The body weeps the tears the eyes refuse to shed.’

    We must find a way to extinguish the pain of the past. This can be achieved through firstly becoming ware of it, and then accepting it as past. It has no place or bearing on the present. It has no bearing on the present because it no longer exists. It is an imagined past (that could well be misremembered anyway) just as the future is imagined. We must also stop blaming the people and situations of the past. Constantly blaming our difficulties on the circumstances we faced in the past only exacerbates our problems. It never helps to seek blame.

    The present moment, void of past and future thinking, can create a beautiful freedom. Logical thinking can sometimes be very beneficial

    We can ask ourselves: how is it I still feel guilty for the mistakes I made all those years ago? The answer may well be that we’ve failed to acknowledge them and accept; that was then and this is now. That was what I was learning at that time. For some reason, only known to yourself, the mind sees a benefit to holding on and replaying the past. Guilt and self-pity can do this.

    In the same way we hold on to suffering from the past, are our expectations, concepts and ideas (beliefs) of happiness stuck there also?

    A common mistake is to assume that the conditions for happiness, we found when young, should remain the same throughout life. This cannot be the case. We have grown and therefore the conditions we have for happiness must evolve also. If we continue to seek the same conditions (imagined or real) in ways we did as a child, it simply won’t work. We’ll never fully realise our true self: A happiness that can come from within. Ponder for a moment: what conditions need to arise for me to feel well now? Now that I am grown what conditions must I maintain to bring out a true sense of joy?

  • Being Mindful of your Happiness

    I wonder how many of us actually ask the questions, what needs to happen for me to be happy? or how do I take care of my happiness?

    I know a mistake I’ve made is to think that my happiness is something that will take care of itself, and therefore, don’t need to spend time and energy looking after it. With this kind of attitude though, all I’m left with, is depression and/or frustration.

    It’s important for us to consider our needs – for happiness – and ensure we maintain them. This is achieved through mindfulness

    We cannot simply assume happiness will come naturally to us. Perhaps for some it does. On the whole though, most of us need to ensure we’re aware of what we need to be doing to bring us a general sense of these positive feelings, and to then mindfully pursue these things always.

    How and what we think has a direct influence on our feelings

    The act of being present with our minds still and aware can bring a sense of happiness provided we have the right conditions for this. Improving our awareness can help us understand that there often only needs to be a few simple conditions (perhaps just a sunny day or a rainy one for that matter) for happiness to manifest. However, if our internal environment isn’t calm and contented (how many of us have this?) simply doing nothing and expecting the conditions for happiness to present themselves is insufficient. We must be actively involved in improving awareness of these conditions, through being mindful of how and what we’re thinking, and taking good care to maintain this awareness.

  • Self-awareness & Objectivity with Mindfulness

    I noticed in the news today that the mother of a child that was murdered by fellow students wants mindfulness introduced into schools. The story doesn’t make it clear what she believes there is to gain from this and I can only imagine it’s the following:

    Mindfulness increases self-awareness through our ability to see ourselves objectively

    Although this is the case, for children who have murder on their minds, for objectivity to be a preventative measure, these children would firstly need some comparisons and of course a developed sense of wrong and right. They would need a developed understanding of cause and effect. They would also initially need to care about whether their actions are wrong or right. Does self-awareness and objectivity award this to a child?

    My personal feeling is that it would need to be the parents, carers or those responsible for murderous children, to be the ones who’re more mindful

    Mindful parents are those who’re aware of what children’s minds are exposed to and the effects of this exposure. Mindful children who’ve been exposed to – and consequently instilled with – prejudices, hatred and the belief violence is a solution, will still commit murder. In fact, it might even make them better at it. Mindfulness training for children, on its own, would be insufficient.

  • Easing the Conflict

    I recently heard that there’s something like sixty five conflicts (impossible to confirm, could be more could be less, but you get the point) currently ongoing in the world. That’s right, sixty five! We can easily be indifferent to this through saying: “oh well, that’s just human nature and there’s sod all I can do about it.” And to a degree I would advise doing just that . . . be indifference toward things you can’t possibly have any influence over. However, there is something we can learn for ourselves, through simply being aware of the conflicted nature of our fellow man.

    When we have unrecognized conflict within ourselves this will always need to be expressed in some way. We humans often enjoy witnessing conflict. Be this in wars, soap operas, and politics.

    On a personal level, I remember my mother saying, on several occasions, how arguments “cleared the air.” My mother was a very conflicted person who seemed generally unhappy with the cards she’d been dealt. I feel she often needed an outlet for her frustrations. I wonder now if she imagined herself with a different life to the one she had created? Was this her conflict? It’s certain that constant arguments, with whoever was at hand, had the effect of temporarily easing the anger she felt as a consequence of her conflicted mind.

    Perhaps what she lacked was control over her situation. It is important to bear in mind, we can only effect positive influence over our external environment, once we have full control over the self. Mindful awareness is key.

    The antidote, to easing our troubled minds, is awareness. The need to experience the friction of conflict externally is there because we lack awareness. Acknowledge this.

    When we ask: What do I want? and find the answer to this question to be in opposition to what we’re actually getting, there is obviously discord. We must then find a way to become accepting of our current situation and then plan a peaceful means (draw up a peaceful plan) of getting what we want. It may take time for our plan to come to fruition and acknowledging that time is all we have helps us to become patient. After all it is not the destination that counts.

    Intention, that creates the energy needed for change to happen, is very different to the negative forces created by conflict.

    When we fail to see how conflicted we are, all we’re left with, is a sense of powerlessness. Expressing this through external means (war, arguments, soap operas, politics etc) creates the illusion of power and ultimately keeps us stuck. What’s needed is power over the self and this is gained through awareness. The awareness of our internal conflict. Do those who wage war have power over the self? Are they aware of their internal disputes? They are not.

    There is no conflict, only a short distance between where we are now, and where we want to be in the future.

  • Freedom: How Free are You?

    We humans have such amazing capacity. When at our best we truly are an extraordinary species. We are achieving greatness. With this said, are we clever and extraordinary enough, to set ourselves free? Some of us might well be.

    When I talk of freedom, I’m referring to the ability to reach the core of what we are, and to let all other things go

    We’re all “born with an inclination toward virtue” – Musonius Rufus.         

    What a fabulous belief that is. Acknowledging, that at our root, we are all virtues beings, helps us understand how our experiences, (lived firsthand or witnessed) go on to create the chains we drag around with us all our lives. Those of us who are raised without fear and prejudice are most likely to live a life I would consider free. Let’s face it, though, who of us is raised in such a manner that they are never exposed to fear, prejudice, injustice, hatred, and anger? These things are all around us from the moment we are born. And of course we can’t help but be infected by them.

    The antidote to this comes in the form of how aware we are of these chains

    Imagine each belief we hold – that is borne of fear – creates a link of chains around our ankles. The emotional strength, or bond of each belief, determines how many links each chain has. It doesn’t take much to grasp that the more of these emotionally bound beliefs we hold, the more enslaved we are as a result.

    Very quickly we can gain an understanding of the nature of our beliefs and where they came from

    As a result of understanding the nature of our beliefs, we raise our awareness of the possibility that we’re enslaving ourselves with the heavy chains of those borne of fear. When more of use truly grasps the destructive nature of so many of our prejudicial beliefs (that we’re barely aware of), we will then go on to free ourselves incrementally. Through raising our awareness, stage by stage, we will once again achieve the freedom we were born with.

  • Replace all the Parts

    When components are interconnected it means all of the parts will experience wear. If we replace a shock absorber on a car’s suspension system, we must replace all the interconnected components that are also likely to be worn. If not, we won’t experience the full benefit of the replaced part, and quite possibly, cause damage to this new part as a result.

    In this respect, if we want mindfulness to be effective, and receive great benefits from our practise, we must have an understanding of the interconnectedness and relationships between our thoughts and behaviours. Provided our understanding is deep enough, the practice of mindfulness, can improve our lives and help us understand why we do what we do. When we have this understanding we have the power to change.

    If we wish, we can trace the origins of mindfulness, back to Buddhism. And if we’re embarking on a spiritual path, as a means of developing ourselves, or simply because we have an interest in this area, then I will agree with the Buddhist’s point of view – that we cannot have mindfulness, without Buddhist beliefs.

    I am not on a spiritual path but I do want a healthy mind and body. In this respect, developing and improving my awareness of actions, words. thoughts, their root, and how they effect me, is the way forward. This, is to have a deep understanding, of mindfulness.

    I must remember that the mind is predisposed to reject what contrary to the established beliefs I hold. And to question the effectiveness of complicated solutions will help with this. Simple is challenging, and yet simple solutions, are always the most powerful. It’s conflicting beliefs that complicate matters. The belief that mindfulness must be associated with being spiritual can hold us back. We can take this one aspect of a belief system (mindfulness), believe in it’s effectiveness, and improve our general wellbeing.

    I feel that it’s much to the chagrin of spiritual leaders that we can take one aspect of a belief system, without having to abide to ridged doctrines, for it to be effective. However, to succeed at our endeavour of improved wellbeing, we must grasp all aspects of what it means to be mindful.

    The challenge is mindfulness in itself. Our addiction to being over stimulated, through thinking, lifestyle, beliefs and our behaviours is, so powerful, that the mind would much rather stick with this chaos, than find the opposing state of mind stillness will bring. The mind is often completely unaccustomed to stillness, especially during stressful, anxious times. And we can still the mind, through a deep understanding of mindfulness, even when what’s going on around us is the usual chaos. All we need do is believe it’s possible.

  • The Mindfulness Tool

    If it hasn’t happened already there will come a time when you’ll try and do a job without the correct tools

    In a sense much of the troubles we encounter in life can be down to using the wrong tools or not sufficiently developing the correct ones. I recently decided to replace the front suspension on my car. All was well until I tried to tighten a particular nut. In order to tighten it sufficiently, it became apparent, that a particular tool was required. I had no idea this tool even existed until I researched it. I knew the centre spindle – of what I was tightening the nut onto – needed securing in some way, but had no way of doing it. I’d worked out how it could be done, but knew of no tool on the market that would be up to the job. I searched the internet and discovered the tool required was called a ‘go through ratchet.’

    Put simply, it enables you to place an alum key through the centre of the ratchet – to hold a spindle still – whilst tightening the nut. A very simple solution that you’d have no idea existed until you took some time to research it. And without the proper tightness on this nut all sorts of problems can arise. From an annoying rattle, to parts wearing out much quicker than they should. You wouldn’t believe the satisfaction I’ve receive from finding the correct tool, that makes a job not just possible, but effortless.

    There are several tools required before you’ll be able to improve you’re level of mindfulness. The first is patience and the second is meditation. Without patience, meditation will be unpleasant, and without meditation, mindfulness will never be fully achieved

    I would suggest the first tool to attain is patience. The tool of patience does come with time, however, no matter how old a person might become they may never learn patience. I believe we develop the tool of patience when we become less fearful. All we need do is ask: How is it I’m in such a rush? What is my frustration? How is it I lack understanding?

    Perhaps compassion will also help us with patience. Yes, we must have understanding and compassion. We must also have very little fear; whether that be a fear of loss, a fear of not being understood – or whatever our fear might be – that’s causing our lack of patience.

    When it comes to meditation, our lack of patience, might be the result of our unwillingness to work as hard as is required to become effective

    Another interesting thing to consider is our self-belief. Do we believe we’re capable. If we lack self-belief this can lead to us trying to use the wrong tools (Meditation/Mindfulness apps?). In addition, attempting to do a job without the proper tools can be a symptom of these kind of beliefs: I always get things wrong. I find things too difficult. I lack patience.

    How will we ever develop patience if we believe something is too difficult. Believing things are beyond our ability will cause us to lose patience and give up.

    For me to complete the job I set out to do, I needed to firstly take a breath, and then use the tool of patience to gain a better understanding, of what I was attempting to do. All I was finding, without the correct tool, was frustration and anger. Now I have the tools and understanding I can finish the job and revel in the feelings of satisfaction that will come with this.

    The degree of mindfulness we achieve will be determined by our mental fitness. Mental fitness is improved through meditation. Meditation becomes a pleasant activity once we have the tool of patience at our disposal. So remember:

    • The tool of patience comes when we are fearless and have understanding and compassion toward ourselves and each other
    • Meditation becomes a pleasant activity once we have patience in our toolbelt
    • Our level of mindfulness is improved through the mental fitness regular meditation awards us

  • A Meditation on Low Self-Worth

    I thought I’d mark the realization, that I’ve now been sober for over ten years, by meditating and writing about low self-worth

    Thinking to myself about the subject of low self-worth I understand how I can apply this limitation to so many aspects of my life. To begin with, what motivates us? The desire to please others is often the key to our success. Fathers, mothers, wives, husbands, and other people who we might look up to, are often high on the list of people we would like to please. This can be something that is entirely conscious, or it can remain below our consciousness, and be a driving we’re unaware of. Either way, those of us who lack self-worth, can be hampered by this if it becomes the main driving.

    Hampered because there can be no real sense of achievement if we’re doing it to win favour of someone else

    If our self-worth is low there is little reason to achieve anything for ourselves. Any achievement has no value if we don’t value ourselves. As you might expect, our self-esteem if something awarded to us during our developmental years. When the child experiences very little encouragement to achieve, or praise when succeeding, their self-esteem remains stunted.

    Once we are grown we must firstly recognize the problem of low self-worth and set about the sometimes lengthy process of building it

    I feel one very powerful way to change low self-worth is to consider the empowering nature of love. Stopping drinking, and deciding to take better care of myself, speaks volumes. We can’t do this without love and a powerful survival instinct. I’m aware of love and that I’m a survivor. It is possible to use this to build self-worth.

    In terms of finding motivation, and the desire to achieve, this becomes easier simply through the awareness, it’s low self-worth that’s been limiting me

    As simple as it may seem it really can be just a case of being aware. It’s not until we’re aware of our true nature, and accepting of this, that we become unstuck. Being aware of the consequences of low self-worth, on our own behavior and troubles, instantly causes change. As I do now, perhaps it will be useful to make your motivation all about the empowering nature of love. Become aware of love, if you’re alive, you can be certain it’s there if you look. When you find it, hold it in your arms, and know your true value as a living, breathing, human being.