Practising Mindfulness

Category: Health and Well-being

  • The Grey Market

    Image by amh1988
    Your brain is a very delicate instrument that may not have been handle with care in the past, ensure it’s treated with respect now

    As with all things on the market today there’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. When it comes to mental health, one of the first things to be aware of, is the tendency for the mind to continue with familiar themes. What the mind knows and has become accustomed to will be the general theme pursued. To put it bluntly, if all you’ve ever known is an amateurish attitude to your wellbeing, then that’s unfortunately the very thing you will seek.

    To a greater or lesser extent everything is grey market. Buying a product from those who manufactured it is very rare. When visiting a therapist you’re not actually meeting the creator of the treatments

    So with this in mind, what we must look for, are the signs that identify the product or service, to have originally come from the genuine source. We must look to ensure corners aren’t being cut and that professional standards are being met. You cannot expect to feel better, through pandering to the minds whim, of pursuing the amateurish treatment it might have become accustomed to. Get to meet the genuine article and show your mind the respect it deserves.

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  • Escaping the Influence of Illness

    I’ve bolted to my little hideaway 

    Sometimes solitude is the only answer. When I feel weighed down by the behaviour of others, I realise there’s no point in becoming angry, in an attempt to change them. Inconsiderate and manipulative behaviour, brought on by what is seen as the power of illness, is minimised when alone. Total solitude would mean I simply can’t be influenced by illness.

    It seems we all have something wrong

    We all have our problems don’t we? And yet, how would life be if we felt utterly content, well, and satiated? Would we wonder at this strange feeling of contentment and seek out a problem to spoil it all? I suppose we can feel content only for this to be spoiled by someone else, can we not?.

    Time away to enjoy solitude and escape the influence of illness

    Interestingly enough, if I searched for them, I could claim to have lots of problems, but what would be the point if in solitude? To revel in self-pity for no real reason? You see, when alone, there is no value to illness, it has no power and influence over others. I’m unable to control their movements and consume their time through illness when alone. My illness has no power, no purpose. I’m tired of the influence of illness.

    In addition to helping people understand their illness, my intention is to work with the well, teaching them how to build on this, through mindfulness.

    We must stop giving illness power – be well – learning how to spend time in total solitude, will help us all, gain the necessary understanding.

  • Advanced Meditation (overcome vulnerability)

    We are all alone because it is impossible for any other person to be part of our mind, body or soul. No-one will ever share the same thoughts, feelings or belief systems in exactly the same way as another, this, is to be alone – Create Beautiful Partnerships

    If we’re uncomfortable when alone then there will be great benefit to meditating on the statement above. This kind of meditation is not for the faint hearted as it can be extremely painful to realise just how alone – in respect of the statement – we all are. The statement is a truism and no amount of argument can alter this. 

    If we’re in company, then we are not physically alone, and therefore, we may not feel lonely. However, many of us can relate to feeling lonely, even when in the company of others. This can be due to being amongst people we have no affinity with, but, there is a simple understanding that can help.

    Furthermore if we have no acceptance and no understanding of the differences between aloneness, oneness and loneliness we can be vulnerable. Vulnerable, lonely people, are often taken advantage of.

    In order to gain the courage to actually be alone, without feeling fearful, we must break through a pain barrier. This barrier is the pain of realisation. Once again the words of Kahlil Gabran come to mind: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”

    When we truly accept and understand our aloneness we will see that loneliness is the product of being lonely from the self

    Something you may find a comfort, whilst meditating, is to foster the curiosity of how many other individuals there might currently be, seeking, the emptiness of meditation. Imagine these people sitting beside you. Experience an emptiness of mind and then ask yourself how many other meditators are currently experiencing similar sensations during these moments. The comfort we gain comes from the realisation of our oneness. We may be alone and yet at root we are all the same in our aloneness. Ponder and have courage.

    We must have a beautiful partnership with ourselves before we can ever dream of one with another. Learning how to enjoy solitude is essential in determining who we attract into our lives. The ability to spend time with only your thoughts for company, costs nothing, and the benefits are priceless – Create Beautiful Partnerships

  • Discover Reality and Stop Yearning for the Unobtainable

    Image by Joshua Woroniecki from Pixabay 
    Self-analysis can result in release from chasing the unobtainable

    We could spend our entire lives frustratingly seeking the love, acceptance and approval of a long dead parent, or we could engage in analysis and free ourselves. With that said, the discovery of truth can be excruciatingly painful, which is of course why most people look to avoid it.

    Finding your true self is how to achieve contentment

    And so how do we know when we’ve found our true selves? What does true self actually mean? The identity we discover, and much of what we choose to do, can be traced back to our childhood need for love and acceptance. As time moves forward the origins of our identity and drivings sink down to the unconscious level and the reasons for what we do go along with it. We just blindly go on not really understanding what the motivations were or are. And yet when we find frustration in our pursuits, bringing these now unconscious aspects to the surface, proves useful. This is how to discover our true self. We do this by recognising how we may be chasing the unobtainable. We then stop and choose pursuits that are based on reality.

    Your true self can be exactly what you want it to be

    Believe it or not, seeing the truth could help us decide to stay with our chosen identity and continue along the path we’re on, but instead of frustration, this time, we can find success. The difference being that we now understanding how our frustration was due to an unconscious yearning that could never be satisfied. The addicts (past or present) among us can relate to this.

    Addiction is driven by a longing that can never be satisfied. The addiction is there simply because the addict is trying to satisfy – or quieten – an unconscious longing or destructive emotion. I can clearly remember the alcohol, or whatever, just not quite hitting the mark. Ever.

    Freedom

    As a result of discovering the truth, we can make a conscious choice to either form a new identity, or continue with what we have. In either case we can experience freedom. Freedom from chasing illusions and the unobtainable. Our energy is focused in an entirely different way. We are no longer chasing shadows.

  • A Peaceful Journey Now

    “Those who know don’t talk, those who talk don’t know. Close your mouth, block off your senses, blunt your sharpness, untie your knots, soften your glare, settle your dust. This is the primal identity. Be like the Tao. It can’t be approached or withdrawn from, benefited or harmed, honoured or brought into disgrace. it gives itself up continually. That is why it endures.” – Lao Tzu

    Take some time to read and digest my analysis of this ancient wisdom. Later, the text in the headings, is to be learnt by heart. In this way, you’ll create a sense of safety and security, as you return to it, each time, you meditate.

    Those who know don’t talk . . .

    We become silent once we understand how forming and expressing opinions trap us. The beliefs our opinions are based on may be outdated and incorrect. If we form and verbalize them we compound them. Silence starts the process of freeing the mind.

    Those who talk don’t know . . .

    Actions speak louder than words. Our behaviour sets example and this will always be the most effective means of influencing others. Commanding the ear is one of the most challenging things we can attempt. It is rare that we are heard. We talk until we understand.

    Close your mouth . . .

    Become accustomed to silence.

    Block off your senses . . .

    Close your senses to those things and people that disrupt your peaceful state of mind. This includes the ramblings of the media; their judgmental and childish opinions on all things. The world begins to change according to your state of mind alone. Filling it with the opinions, hatred, propaganda, fear and willful mind games of the media, has no value and serves no purpose.

    Blunt your sharpness . . .

    A sharp knife is useful when preparing a meal. A mind that is overly excited or overstressed is running beyond it’s design capabilities. Let the knife do the cutting. Calm yourself, learn patience, breathe deeply and approach everything in a relaxed, mindful manner.

    Untie your knots . . .

    Consider the amount of conflict in your life. A knot is a sticking point. If you’re uncertain about something, cease thinking about it. Better still, remove it from your life, entirely. Worry and repetitive thinking is pointless. You didn’t ask to be born and yet you are here. It was the pleasure of others that created you. Therefore, it is right and proper that you should seek to enjoy every moment of your life, free from knots and confusion.

    Soften your glare . . .

    Your eyes are beautiful. Avert your eyes from what upsets you. Gently look upon those things that make you smile and bring you pleasure. Never look upon things in judgment. You have no right to make a judgement with a harsh look, just as no other, has the right to judge you. Looking harshly, we fail to see the beauty, that surrounds us.

    Settle your dust . . .

    Walk slowly and calmly among the people. Never raise a storm, always speak in soft and gentle tones. Anger and frustration, at those things we have no control over, only unsettles us from our peaceful path.

    This is the primal identity . . .

    All of the above resides within us. Imagine what happens to us when we start to believe that love is what we are.

    Be like the Tao . . .

    Adopt and follow beautiful, useful philosophies, and beliefs.

    It can’t be approached or withdrawn from . . .

    There is no need for us to seek something we already possess, all we need do, is raise our awareness to our true nature. Once we find this, it becomes impossible, to ignore.

    Benefited or harmed . . .

    Nothing can be added to an ingredient that is already perfect. It is impossible to harm something untouchable. You either know it or you don’t. It is what you are.

    Honoured or brought into disgrace . . .

    Again something that is untouchable has this neutrality. We cannot honour or disgrace something that is free of want. It just is.

    It gives itself up continually . . .

    We only know what we have once we give it away. When we recognise something there is a continuation. A river must keep flowing, because without this flow, it becomes a stagnant pool. We must accept that the things we give away become self-perpetuating.

    That is why it endures . . .

    What remains after we are gone are the things we freely gave away. Never the physical, but the kind words, the gentle consideration to others, the love and compassion. Generation after generation, will be affected by your actions and words, forever. As the Tao, Love endures.

  • Protected: When all else fails play the love card

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  • Decide Which Belief to Focus On

    Discover the foundation

    In order to begin the process of freeing yourself from a limiting belief it will prove very useful to consider what it was founded on. Way back, when we first learned our beliefs, they will have been founded on emotions. The stronger the emotion the more apparent and prominent the belief. So let’s simplify things a little, and work with just two emotions, those of fear and love.

    If, for example, you believed that a certain activity were dangerous, there’s a good likelihood you would avoid it. This would be the case even if the activity were likely to broaden you as an individual. When we think of it there is an element of danger in many activities, even crossing the road holds risk. Most of us however, are fortunate enough to have been instructed on the sensible way to cross roads, and have been awarded a healthy respect for speeding cars. But what about something else? What about the beliefs we hold about ourselves?

    Let’s say we believe ourselves to be weak and it was a fearful experience that caused its formation

    Perhaps we backed down whilst being bullied or were submissive when abused as a child and this is seen by the mind as weakness. There may well be a sense of guilt underlying the belief due to our shame of submission. We ask ourselves: why didn’t I fight the bully? Why didn’t I report the abuser? Of course, once we have the opportunity to review such experiences, we’re enlightened to all the relevant details the mind has since chosen to ignore. Such as the size of the bully and the fear of getting a beating or the consequences of reporting abuse at the time.

    These details are often ignored as the mind focuses on the belief – weak. We can go through life being held back by such a belief. We can shy away from experiences that would broaden us simply because we believe ourselves to be this way.

    The ability to review childhood experiences also enlightens us to the reality of the existence of a belief’s opposite, which the mind is also choosing to ignore; in this instant, that of strength. It can take strength to walk away from a threatening situation rather than stand and fight. Our silence, in the face of abuse, is the strength to see the potential worsening of circumstances if we spoke up at the time. We needed to survive. Survivors of bullying and abuse often fail to see their strength as the mind becomes clouded by the predominant beliefs fueled by fear and guilt. But for any belief to exists its opposite must also.

    Change the belief with love, the opposite of fear

    It’s now that we must highlight the presence of opposites. Love is the tool we use. As adults we can easily review past hurts and regrets to recognise the beliefs formed. When we now apply love, we’re seeing these things as adults, and showing the inner child the kind of love, that will have been lacking at the time. With love we can show the child opposing beliefs and realise the benefits of seeing our inner strength, that has always been there, just never brought to the surface.

    Some examples of opposing beliefs:

    • Attractive – Unattractive
    • Healthy – Unhealthy
    • Fit – Unfit
    • Fat – Slim
    • Intelligent – Stupid
    • Confident – Unconfident
    • Strong – Weak
    • Good – Bad

  • Protected: Generalised or Free Floating Anxiety

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  • Protected: The Root and Purpose of Anxiety

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  • Equipped for Life

    There are those who, on the first signs of trouble, take to their beds and disappear down into a depressive funk. And their are those who would thrive on this same trouble. What is it that makes the difference?

    The easy answer lies in how well we’ve been equipped for life during our developmental years. If wrapped in cotton wool, cosseted and pampered during childhood, we might grow to be fragile and overly sensitive to stress and worry.

    Compared to someone who has grown up knowing little other than drama, stress and violence (physical and/or emotional) it’s certainly likely – the cosseted – will be less well equipped to deal with this side of life.

    As strange as it may seem, a difficult childhood can leave us better equipped to deal with the inevitable stresses, of life. With this in mind, it’s true that children must be protected with appropriate boundaries and sensitive parenting, however, at the same time, we mustn’t overprotect them. We must find ways to equip them for the ups and downs of life in the best ways possible.

    There are always alternative consequences to consider.

    If we find ourself scarred, as a result of being inappropriately exposed to the violence of adult problems during childhood, rather than equipping us, we can develop conflicts that cause us to shift uncontrollably between emotional states. Sometimes we’re strong and on top of the world, and yet at other times, fearful and incapacitated.

    So a childhood that can equip, can just as easily disable. It’s a little like the child who sees a negative comment from a teacher, for example, as confirmation of their poor self-belief, or uses it as a means to strengthen them. It can go one way or the other. Or is there an alternative to this black and white viewpoint?

    Perhaps the ideal is the child who has the ability to remain indifferent to those who don’t actually understand how to love them. Consider the words: “You’ll never amount to much” are they based on fear or love? I feel the words: “Once you’re grown you’ll be free to choose” sound far more loving and empowering.

    Coming back to the individual who’s likely to take to their bed at the first sign of trouble, we must understand, that this kind of behaviour is rooted in the past. It got them something then and the belief is it’ll get them something now. We could also call this a scar that has resulted in childish behaviour being echoed in adulthood. Conversely, if stress is seen simply as being part of life, then surly we’re able to simply brush troubles away, that would debilitate the adult-child.

    Solving depression and developing a worry-free mind can seem complicated. The conditions and symptoms of depression or anxiety are simple to spot, it is unraveling the root causes, that are a little more complex. One thing is for sure, once we see how the present often echoes the past, we’re able to break away from behaviour that belongs there. Put your feet on the floor, put your clothes on, and walk away from the past.

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