Practising Mindfulness

Category: Meditation & Mindfulness

  • Find the Stillness

    Image by Ylanite Koppens from Pixabay 
    Whatever is happening to you

    Even if that dog owner is saying “fuck you” by allowing their dog to piss up your front door, find the stillness.

    Even if that man is using his fists, find the stillness.

    And if that woman is manipulating you emotionally because you can’t say no, find the stillness.

    The only way to find it is to remain indifferent, impartial and non-judgmental

    The dog owner, the wife beater and the abusive woman hold no power over the individual who can calmly endure.

    Endure with a stillness that enables you to reason with yourself. A calm reasoning that enables you to know what you must do next.

    The inconsiderate or abusive human being shall simply receive your thanks

    That’s right! Thank them for showing you the damage to their soul and, providing you survive, thank them for showing you how important you are and how afraid of you they’ve become. Know you can’t have frightened people in you life and that is all they are. Your stillness will be based on love and because you’re able to connect with that – daily through your mindfulness practice – it remains as you endure.

    know you only need endure their fear and ugliness for a short period as your mind calmly shows you the exit route. And you’ll never need to stop them weeping for their loss, they’ve never been in love.

  • Discover Reality and Stop Yearning for the Unobtainable

    Image by Joshua Woroniecki from Pixabay 
    Self-analysis can result in release from chasing the unobtainable

    We could spend our entire lives frustratingly seeking the love, acceptance and approval of a long dead parent, or we could engage in analysis and free ourselves. With that said, the discovery of truth can be excruciatingly painful, which is of course why most people look to avoid it.

    Finding your true self is how to achieve contentment

    And so how do we know when we’ve found our true selves? What does true self actually mean? The identity we discover, and much of what we choose to do, can be traced back to our childhood need for love and acceptance. As time moves forward the origins of our identity and drivings sink down to the unconscious level and the reasons for what we do go along with it. We just blindly go on not really understanding what the motivations were or are. And yet when we find frustration in our pursuits, bringing these now unconscious aspects to the surface, proves useful. This is how to discover our true self. We do this by recognising how we may be chasing the unobtainable. We then stop and choose pursuits that are based on reality.

    Your true self can be exactly what you want it to be

    Believe it or not, seeing the truth could help us decide to stay with our chosen identity and continue along the path we’re on, but instead of frustration, this time, we can find success. The difference being that we now understanding how our frustration was due to an unconscious yearning that could never be satisfied. The addicts (past or present) among us can relate to this.

    Addiction is driven by a longing that can never be satisfied. The addiction is there simply because the addict is trying to satisfy – or quieten – an unconscious longing or destructive emotion. I can clearly remember the alcohol, or whatever, just not quite hitting the mark. Ever.

    Freedom

    As a result of discovering the truth, we can make a conscious choice to either form a new identity, or continue with what we have. In either case we can experience freedom. Freedom from chasing illusions and the unobtainable. Our energy is focused in an entirely different way. We are no longer chasing shadows.

  • Beans on Toast

    Image by Andi Perdana from Pixabay 
    There are times when all we want is uncomplicated nutrition

    It’s the staff of life isn’t it? Beans on Toast. Tasty, simple and easy to cook. And how lovely it is to be offered something simple that’s tasty and nutritious. So how about a little Beans on Toast for the mind? How about something that’s simple yet easy to understand, universal in it’s nature, and powerfully beneficial in the real world.

    So often nowadays the information we’re bombarded with is complicated, unnecessary and often confusing. We have people with Degree’s in everything from Jazz Dance to Surf Science and we’re all trying to be smarter and wealthier than the next person as a result. I really feel it’s time to get back to basics and remind ourselves about some important healthy mind ingredients.

    Let’s start with togetherness

    Even though governments have successfully instilled the importance of keeping socially distant, wearing masks and washing hands etc, we must remember how importance it is that we retain an awareness of how crucial our togetherness is. All we need do is simply remind ourselves that we are in fact all in this together. We might need to remain mindful of not transferring a virus, yet we must also remain mindful of compassion, gentleness and our oneness.

    The emptiness of no identity is all about recognising our oneness

    In some respects the Buddhists are on to something with their concept of emptiness. They say that we are all intrinsically interdependent and there is no such thing as I. In this respect, if we weren’t all so keen and building such powerful identities, perhaps we would gain a better sense of how we are all one; one species that is interdependent with everything around us.

    But let’s not get too distracted, Buddhism is certainly one of those subjects that we humans have chosen to overcomplicate. Suffice to say, when we put aside our precious identity and look a little deeper, we will clearly see the oneness we posses with each and everyone around us. Know that the man or woman who seems so different to you is in fact, at their root, the same as you. It is our failing to recognize this fundamental truth that causes our prejudice, hatred and opinions, to form. At root we are all one.

    Love is not something to work at it is something to feel for ourselves

    Our togetherness is so much easier to foster once we see the importance of love for ourselves. We must remember that the aspects we dislike about ourselves are something that has been taught to us – or learned by us as a result of childhood confusion. We project these (often unconscious) unlikable aspects on to others. We feel prejudice toward others when we believe in there being something wrong; that there is something wrong with how a person behaves, looks or sounds. That there is something wrong with us. Forget wrong or right. See the whole person. See them just as you are: Learning to be a better person. Learning how to become whole.

    So there we are, some simple nutrition for the mind. And you know what? I fancy some beans on toast for my tea. How about you?

  • Just Take a Breath

    You’re worried about there being not enough. Just take a breath and think about what would happen if you discovered there wasn’t enough. Would the world stop turning? Does your life end? What is the worst thing that can happen? Does it really matter?

    Take your mind beyond the fear

    I often do this; take my mind beyond the thing I fear. I then become calm and rational. Instead of this, if we’re stuck within the fear (of there not being enough) we grasp and grab. We become glutinous. We behave in a way that is self-centered and mean.

    Change gluttony to greed

    In contrast greed is okay because this is based on The Rule of Enrichment, (see Create Beautiful Partnerships page 62) a useful rule to understand and embrace. We want more of what we enjoy and why shouldn’t we? In this respect, consider how the world would be if we focused more on our need for love. The more love we give the more we gain.

    When we freely give of our love we can be greedy in how much we receive

    And so move your mind forward, beyond the thing you fear, and realise the danger of gluttony. Now remember: How would the world be if we greedily focused on giving more love?

  • A Return to Simpler Times

    At one end of the scale we can think about the old expression: “to treat with kid gloves” as we look at the difficulties parents are facing. When parents seek to lay down any kind of rules, guidelines or boundaries for their children, they can struggle with how to do this without the accusations of being restrictive, or inconsiderate of special needs. And so, is it far better to be somewhere in the middle of the scale? Here, we can show a child proper boundaries; they’ll love you all the more for it.

    When reading the news and views of ordinary people I gain a sense of how complicated everything seems to have got. The conversations range from the complex diagnostics of mental conditions to the vast array of shared opinions – we all have something to get off our chest. These few words included.

    I make no apologies for my feelings and beliefs about coming from simpler times

    When I think about my childhood, and in particular the classroom, every single child was different with their own personal struggles. It was called growing pains. Every child had special needs and yet it was grouped together and termed childhood. At every stage of our lives we will face difficulties and challenges. Without simple rules, boundaries and guidelines to help us, we can get lost in our confusion.

    This is not to say that by returning to simpler principles we should include the brutality of the past

    One simple question we must constantly ask ourselves is this: Is the balance between love and fear proportionate? In this respect, we must never make the mistake of assuming that complicated diagnostics – for the condition of childhood – are based on love. There is a strong likelihood they’re based on the opposite. 

    For the need of intellectuals to prove their worth, can it be a fear based thing, or is it simply the willfulness and one upmanship of their competitive nature? 

    Try and hold a conversation with anyone and notice the constant to-and-fro of power. You’ll say one thing, only for this, in the next breath of conversation, to be bettered or dismissed. As I’ve aged I’ve become quieter, not because I have nothing to say, but because I now see the pointlessness of opinion. I’m also very tired of frightened, competitive, men.

    In this respect I’ve notice the ‘warriors’ locking up their women, fearing their love will weaken them. It is this fear that causes them to need possession and ownership. When this is your need, you must fight as a warrior, and die early losing the only thing you’ve ever truly owned. To fear love is to be locked into this vicious cycle of madness. Can we return to simpler principles without the brutality of the past?

    Consider simplifying your life – consider mindfulness.

    Workshop details 

  • Realistic Power of Mindfulness

    Over recent times much has been written about mindfulness and the art of meditation. From changing brain waves, to the clairvoyance of Kadampa Buddhism, it’s all been covered. So, with this in mind, what follows is a brief and realistic assessment of what you can expect from improved mindfulness achieved through regular meditation.

    • An increasing sense of control over impulsive behaviour.

    It’s so often the case that excessive consumption (of anything) is simply due to an unthinking attitude. As a consequence of training the mind to remain predominantly present – in the now moment – we gain greater control over the cravings associated with excess. Often it’s placing our thoughts into an imagined future, in an uncontrolled manner, that causes us to generate desire.

    • Increased freedom from the anxiety associated with worry.

    Worry, in its simplest form, is thinking about a future event and applying a negative outcome. Once again, when we’re able to distance our thinking from an imagined future, we free ourselves from worry.

    • Increased awareness of the nature of thought.

    Meditation is the study of mind. This definition is one of the reasons for dismissing the notion that meditation is boring. Curiosity is the cure to boredom. Through raising awareness of our thoughts we begin the process of improving our self-talk. It’s how we speak to ourselves that determines much of our outlook and experiences of life.

    I am what I think and, therefore, I am my thoughts – GOLD Counselling  

    • An increasing sense of calm and peace of mind.

    Calmness is achieved through quieting the mind. The ability to relax the bodymind comes with time and practice. The first step is to form the good habit of meditating daily. Once this is achieved we can then slowly and gently raise our awareness to what might be troubling us. Successful meditation is when we’re then able to gently allow these thoughts to drift through the mind, and away, to be replaced with an alternative focus.

    • Improved focus and clarity of mind.

    We’ve all experienced the cloudy muddled thinking that comes with stressful modern living. We want everything, and we’ve earned this right, however, taking the time to calm and quieten the mind, awards us the power of focused clarity. 

    • Altered perception of time.

    As any good mechanic will tell you, keeping a car’s engine in good order doesn’t take time, it saves time. As such, resting the mind if only for ten minutes a day, during our waking hours, helps us to begin the process of fully engaging with all that we do. Releasing ourselves from the burden – of being addicted to mental stimulation – awards us the prize of more time. The greater control we have over our minds, the better able we are, at managing our time.

    So there we are, realistic goals, yet powerful ones, all the same.

    Workshop Schedule

  • The Long Game Plan

    When we compare the kind of mindset it takes to be successful, against that of successful failure, (we only ever succeed at failing) we reduce the margin for error. People who regularly achieve success in their personal and business lives, do so, through their ability to plan. There are short term, medium term, and long term plans. Playing the long game is all about long term plans.

    Think of what it takes to knit a jumper. The first thing we must do is work to a plan. We have the body of the jumper, front and back, we then have the sleeves and the neck. All in all, there are five elements. When knitting the separate parts to our jumper, it does take some imaginative skill, to see it as a complete garment.

    One thing to consider at this point is, we don’t actually need to be able to see the complete garment in our minds eye, all we need is a plan that will eventually bring all the parts together

    It’s a little like modern airliners that are made in different factories in different parts of the world. At some point in the future, all the separate parts are brought together, and assembled to make a complete plane. The person making a wing, doesn’t need concern himself with how the plane will look once completed, neither does he need to know how to build the engine. His job, is to construct the wing, and that’s it.

    In the same respect, when it comes to business, or personal lives for that matter, we must take each element and focus on them individually for the greatest success. Compartmentalization is the ability to focus on one aspect of the plan, to the exclusion of all other aspects, until it comes to the final assembly.

    Keeping our minds in the present moment means we do lose sight of the outcome of our long term plans

    There is a benefit to this in respect of us breaking things down into their component elements; being in the moment means we focus on that single element at that moment in time.

    When working in this manner, the day to day, or moment to moment elements of any long term plan, may seem trivial and insignificant. When the results of each day are fairly small, compared to the eventual outcome, we can become disheartened. Even though this is the case, we must be cautious with how much time we spend with our minds in places, other than the present moment.

    The long term goal, as with our jumper or plane, is for all the individual elements to finally come together. If we distract ourselves too much with this aim, we may fail. Especially if the long term plan is something that covers a good number of years.

    So to sum up. When there are many elements, long term goals, must be planned and executed separately. By keeping our minds in the now moment, once a plan has been drawn up, we ensure each element is completed to the best of our abilities. Spending too much time, envisioning how things will look at the end of the term, can be disheartening and counterproductive.

    Personal development can be seen as an important first element to any plan

    Be it improvements needed in our personal lives or our business lives, understanding how best to use our time and attention, means greater success all round. Ultimately, the clearer the plan, and the time span decided for it, the more efficiently we use our valuable time.   

  • A Peaceful Journey Now

    “Those who know don’t talk, those who talk don’t know. Close your mouth, block off your senses, blunt your sharpness, untie your knots, soften your glare, settle your dust. This is the primal identity. Be like the Tao. It can’t be approached or withdrawn from, benefited or harmed, honoured or brought into disgrace. it gives itself up continually. That is why it endures.” – Lao Tzu

    Take some time to read and digest my analysis of this ancient wisdom. Later, the text in the headings, is to be learnt by heart. In this way, you’ll create a sense of safety and security, as you return to it, each time, you meditate.

    Those who know don’t talk . . .

    We become silent once we understand how forming and expressing opinions trap us. The beliefs our opinions are based on may be outdated and incorrect. If we form and verbalize them we compound them. Silence starts the process of freeing the mind.

    Those who talk don’t know . . .

    Actions speak louder than words. Our behaviour sets example and this will always be the most effective means of influencing others. Commanding the ear is one of the most challenging things we can attempt. It is rare that we are heard. We talk until we understand.

    Close your mouth . . .

    Become accustomed to silence.

    Block off your senses . . .

    Close your senses to those things and people that disrupt your peaceful state of mind. This includes the ramblings of the media; their judgmental and childish opinions on all things. The world begins to change according to your state of mind alone. Filling it with the opinions, hatred, propaganda, fear and willful mind games of the media, has no value and serves no purpose.

    Blunt your sharpness . . .

    A sharp knife is useful when preparing a meal. A mind that is overly excited or overstressed is running beyond it’s design capabilities. Let the knife do the cutting. Calm yourself, learn patience, breathe deeply and approach everything in a relaxed, mindful manner.

    Untie your knots . . .

    Consider the amount of conflict in your life. A knot is a sticking point. If you’re uncertain about something, cease thinking about it. Better still, remove it from your life, entirely. Worry and repetitive thinking is pointless. You didn’t ask to be born and yet you are here. It was the pleasure of others that created you. Therefore, it is right and proper that you should seek to enjoy every moment of your life, free from knots and confusion.

    Soften your glare . . .

    Your eyes are beautiful. Avert your eyes from what upsets you. Gently look upon those things that make you smile and bring you pleasure. Never look upon things in judgment. You have no right to make a judgement with a harsh look, just as no other, has the right to judge you. Looking harshly, we fail to see the beauty, that surrounds us.

    Settle your dust . . .

    Walk slowly and calmly among the people. Never raise a storm, always speak in soft and gentle tones. Anger and frustration, at those things we have no control over, only unsettles us from our peaceful path.

    This is the primal identity . . .

    All of the above resides within us. Imagine what happens to us when we start to believe that love is what we are.

    Be like the Tao . . .

    Adopt and follow beautiful, useful philosophies, and beliefs.

    It can’t be approached or withdrawn from . . .

    There is no need for us to seek something we already possess, all we need do, is raise our awareness to our true nature. Once we find this, it becomes impossible, to ignore.

    Benefited or harmed . . .

    Nothing can be added to an ingredient that is already perfect. It is impossible to harm something untouchable. You either know it or you don’t. It is what you are.

    Honoured or brought into disgrace . . .

    Again something that is untouchable has this neutrality. We cannot honour or disgrace something that is free of want. It just is.

    It gives itself up continually . . .

    We only know what we have once we give it away. When we recognise something there is a continuation. A river must keep flowing, because without this flow, it becomes a stagnant pool. We must accept that the things we give away become self-perpetuating.

    That is why it endures . . .

    What remains after we are gone are the things we freely gave away. Never the physical, but the kind words, the gentle consideration to others, the love and compassion. Generation after generation, will be affected by your actions and words, forever. As the Tao, Love endures.

  • Protected: Free Your Mind With Love

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  • Protected: When all else fails play the love card

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