Practising Mindfulness

Category: Meditation & Mindfulness

  • Finding Positive Motivators in Life

    Image by ErikaWittlieb from Pixabay

    “I have nothing to prove and no reason to compete” he said. And I wondered what got him out of bed in the mornings

    I decided to explore what he said, after all, he was up and about. I sometimes think there’s a danger to self-examination. That’s to say, looking to closely, at what motivates us. We can end up thinking that what motivates us is a negative. And when we remove that we start to struggle with finding the positives. Or a least finding positive motivators, that do actually get us out of bed, so to speak. I feel this is ever more prevalent when it’s been negative motivators that we’ve been working off all our lives. Needing to be liked, or loved, or approved of – being good examples. And yet, isn’t it these things that motivate most of us, most of the time?

    So what can we see as a true, positive, motivator? Could this simply be love of life and what we do with it?

    For the above to be true and sufficient to motivate us, I feel we do need reminding, occasionally, of what fundamental and essential aspects of life we must focus on. That being, the extraordinary nature, of life itself. The absolutely, magical reality, that we are here living, right now. That we, humans (and all life), are the children of a star only because that star has been stable for billions of years. That the exact position we are from this star – and that we have a stabilizing moon – mean the conditions for life, and for it to have had sufficient time to evolve, have been just right.

    All of this means we are extremely rare. My personal opinion is that we may represent the only intelligent life in the galaxy. And that this brings a certain responsibility with it. The responsibility to actually live this life, to the best of our abilities, moment by moment. Is it the case, as suggested by people far more intelligent than I, that it’s our existence that gives meaning to the universe?

    Mindfulness is certainly key to carrying this responsibility successfully

    Can being reminded of the above facts (raising our awareness to them), be sufficient to get us out of bed, when we have nothing to prove, and no reason to compete? How about when we have no one to please except ourselves? I reckon I’ll meditate on all of these points tomorrow. How about you?

  • Understanding Cravings: Mindfulness and Distraction

    Something isn’t quite right. It’s hard for him to put his finger on. Is this feeling a craving perhaps? He wants something but doesn’t know what

    This mind state is unsettling and most of us will seek to find a way to change it. Perhaps this will be through consumption or some other form of distraction. The key word here is distraction. Uncomfortable and unsettling feelings are often something we wish to distract ourselves from.

    For the mindfulness practitioner, distraction is not an option, quite the opposite

    When we decide to acknowledge everything we feel, and actively immerse ourselves in the feelings, we have a far greater chance of understanding the underlying causes. Feelings of craving can be the mind seeking distraction from something we’re not fully acknowledging. If we are hurt and angry it’s very important to work through these feelings and understand them fully. The anger might well have been caused by the actions (or non-action) of someone in our life and to feel angry might put us in an increasingly vulnerable position. If this is the case, we may seek to bury, the anger. It is this buried emotion that will create the minds need for distraction. The mind creates the craving to cure us. Of course this is no cure and may only, in the long term, add to our problems.

    Take a moment to think about who has control of your mind if you’re burying anger and craving distraction as a result

    It certainly isn’t you who has control. We could go as far as to say, it’s the person who you feel has wronged you, that’s in control. As a result of being mindful (aware) of our feelings – and the type of internal dialog we’re using to create them – we empower ourselves. Ultimately, it is our own thoughts that are creating the anger, not the actions of others. Through realising how we’re choosing to feel we are empowered to change. We take responsibility and we take charge. Remember:

    • As soon as you feel the craving for distractions stop and meditate. Meditating will improve your ability to mindfully acknowledge everything you feel. You will empower yourself to understand and change these feeling in a useful and constructive way.

  • Philtrum – Love Charm

    With his little finger he gently stroked the little piece of skin just beneath her nose. He didn’t understand why he was drawn to doing this. She said, “are you messing with my symmetry?” He didn’t know how to respond to that. Some time later, after their love affair had ended, she moved away to a Greek island, got married, and had a family

    Sit, cross legged, back straight, imagining a small piece of string gently pulling upwards from the grown of your head. There is a little strength in your abdomen, your lips are parted and your tongue is resting gently behind your two front teeth. Breathing through your nose now, noticing the temperature of the in breath, compared to that of the out breath. Your hands are resting inside each other in your lap, palms upturned, forming the shape of an empty bowl. Your aim today is to spend a short while focusing all of your attention on the area just beneath your nose. This is called the Philtrum.

    In Jewish tradition, each embryo has an angel teaching it all of the wisdom in the world while it is in utero. The angel lightly taps the infant’s upper lip before birth to prevent the infant from revealing the secrets of the universe; the infant then forgets the Torah it has been taught

    This focus on the Philtrum helps us to strengthen our concentration. When your mind wanders, and you become aware of this, gently bring your attention back to the Philtrum and continue . . .

  • Courageous or Foolish?

    It certainly wouldn’t suit everyone and yet we can all learn something from the extreme actions of others. After watching this, I wondered if they had actually learned that much about empathy, after all.

    The statement: “you are not your thoughts” is also a little nonsensical

    There is no question that we are are thoughts, and sometimes we can seek to rest for a little while, from ourselves. Also, during this time, we can see ourselves a little more objectively. There is value in this.

    For me, meditation is about gentleness, and an appreciation of the fragile nature of mind. We must always treat ourselves (and others) very gently and respectfully.

  • The Bear in The Woods

    You are cross legged, your back is straight. There is a little strength in your abdomen. The air is still. You’re focused on your breathing; the air is passing in and out of your nose; your lips are slightly parted with your tongue gently resting on your two front teeth. You’re aware of the temperature difference in your nose between the in breath and the out breath. It’s a beautiful morning, pleasantly cool, just right. You’re facing the lake, eyes are half closed, and there is a faint mist gently rising from the tepid water.

    You are still and calm. You allow thoughts to come in and out of your mind and you sense your concentration improving. Your concentration on your breathing is improving. You’re beginning to exclude everything else from your mind. You are intently aware of your breathing

    All around the lake are woods. The trees are tall and lush; their leaves are a beautiful green. There are creatures in the woods, all going about their business: searching for food, seeking out mates, building their nests. There is one creature in the woods we might need to be wary of: A large brown bear.

    Normally, we would have no reason to be afraid of a brown bear, but this particular bear, is very hungry, restless and a little confused. He sees you sitting on the shore. He is trying to catch your scent but the gentle breeze is offshore and so he can only guess at what you are

    What you are is an enigma. The bear is silently watching you from behind the trees furiously sniffing at the air. Are you a danger to him? Are you edible? Are you an easy meal? Are you a plaything? Why do you not see him and run away? After all, surely YOU, can smell HIM?!

    The bear decides to approach you. His paws barely making a sound as he moves across the gravel. He is now beside you, gently sniffing. He’s never smelt such a thing before: A human, still, fearless and calm

    The bear becomes increasingly confused. He knows you know he is there, he sees you breathing, and yet you do not move, you do not run, you do not smell afraid. The bear becomes agitated in his confusion. He pushes at your arm with his nose. Your body rights itself and you remain balanced and still. The bear means nothing to you. You know he cannot make sense of you and the bear himself is becoming afraid. He emits a low growl from deep down in his throat.

    This sounds makes you aware of his fear. All you need to do now is tell him to move on. Gently, in a whisper, you say, ‘Go back to the woods now dear bear, there are small creatures there, far more appetizing then me. They know to be afraid and will make far more interesting prey’

    The big brown bear stands, turns, and makes his way slowly back to the woods. He knows the game is up, he has failed to aggravate you; to unsettle your calm. Your fearlessness has made you formidable.

  • Mindful Gameplay

    Winning the game of life is accomplished when we’re aware

    Currently, there are some very intelligent minds creating the belief that the universe is a simulation. So tangled have they become – with trying to make sense of it all – that they’re now beginning to postulate that the universe acts very much like a quantum computer.

    The conclusion they’ve reached is that the universe is a simulation being played out on a vast computer set up somewhere in an alternate alien dimension. Some very intelligent people actually believe this.

    I’m not about to start debating this either way because I don’t think there is anything to gain from that. In other words, it doesn’t matter a toss

    It doesn’t matter because, real or simulated, we’re all still experiencing life (some more than others), and real or simulated, it’s a game either way.

    Treating life as if it were a game is sensible on many levels. Not because it makes the business of living life any less important. It’s because learning gameplay helps us to navigate, what can seem on the surface, a very complicated affair.

    Establishing the rules and playing with awareness eases the way
    • Learn to love one’s self
    • Become aware of fear based gameplay (do you need to control or are you being controlled? Are you being manipulated, or do you seek to manipulate?)
    • As much as possible, make life decisions based on compassion and love. Ask yourself, what would love do?
    • Always act with integrity
    • Be present (to what extent are you allowing the past or future fantasy to influence your choices)?
    • Learn to meditate and practice daily
    • Be mindful of thoughts and behaviour and how they influence your feelings
    • Be mindful of allowing your feelings to overrule reasoned thinking

    Listed above are just a few simple rules you must play by. If you want to win, remove your confusion and follow one set of rules only. The correct set.

  • The Loving Nature of Mindfulness

    By becoming better aware (mindful), of what’s behind our self-destructive nature, we can turn our lives around

    Let’s jump straight in. For us to live a long and fulfilling life, we need to start with something very important. The ability to love one’s self. That’s right. And once again it’s possible to instantly think that this is an oversimplification.

    And yet, when we look, it is easy to see, that those of us who have the grounding of self-love, are, more often than not, the healthiest, most balanced and fulfilled people around.

    In contrast, as with many others, I personally grew up with love being extremely conditional. There were strings attached to any sense of self-love. In other words, I was taught to love only a few aspects of myself.

    These things, within myself, that I learnt to believe as lovable, were only serving a purpose for the people I was around during childhood.

    “Oh doesn’t he have an old head on his shoulders” As with this example – to learn to love one’s self for not being a child – when in childhood – can lead to all sorts of problems

    Being robbed of childhood in this way can be very damaging. To much responsibility in childhood has led me to fervently avoid responsibility in adulthood. Even to myself.

    And we could ask, why did this child have ‘an old head on his shoulders?’ Neglect is what comes to mind. Instead, how would it be if we were taught to love ourselves as a whole?

    How would it be if we were taught, that simply acknowledging our humanity, can be sufficient to love one’s self? Why do we feel the need to make love specific to certain things? Surely our whole being is love.

    Meditation that leads to improved mindfulness is an act of self- love. If we lack this, then caring for ourselves, in any fashion, will be a challenge

    In this respect, if we’re struggling with our practice of meditation, and giving out all manner of reasons for why (I don’t have time, I lack self discipline etc.) it would be very valuable to question if it’s a lack of self-love that’s lying at the core.

    If so, learning to love one’s self, can be a challenge the mind would prefer not to take on. Bear this in mind with the answers that present themselves when asking probing questions.

  • Be Aware of What you Want

    Within the understanding, of those who understand, is this truth: We always get what we want

    Some people unconsciously fear success and the changes this might bring. This fear can manifest as outright failure, disappointment, and/or frustration. Through becoming aware of the knowledge imparted here, we can make a powerful shift in how we perceive and deal with life’s challenges.

    An important consideration, hidden within this seemingly positive truth, is how there are two aspects to the mind. Conscious and unconscious. Of course, unless you’re a sadist, you consciously want a good life. However, beneath the surface of your consciousness are hidden wants. A guilty mind, for example, will unconsciously want all manner of shit to rain down at a constant rate. And so the trick, if we can call it that, is to become aware of what we want at the unconscious level.

    It is relatively easy to get the trick. All we need do is ask ourselves the important question as to how our difficulties manifest themselves. Ask: What is causing my suffering? And then ask: How can it be that the problems I’m encountering are something my mind wants?

    It is the case that our difficulties and subsequent suffering are serving some kind of purpose. Our suffering is providing something. It may be the illusion of control over others. It could be the illusion of control over our circumstances. It could simply be that our suffering is there as a means to motivate us to start doing things differently.

    Whatever the outcomes to our endeavours, when we accept the understanding, that whatever the problems might be, it is something our minds are responsible for – we are fulfilling a want. This simple awareness can be sufficient to change future outcomes.

  • Getting to Grips with Illusions, Delusions, and Reality with Mindfulness

    Does it actually matter if we live our lives ignorant of our delusions and illusions? One thing is for sure, our minds are very adept at keeping our reality in line with our beliefs

    For me, it all comes down to value. In other words, is there true value in moving through life (or just for a measured amount of time) basing our thoughts and actions on those things that are far removed from reality? And of course, we must consider that delusions, from a subjective point of view, are reality.

    So perhaps all we need ask is whether our thoughts and behaviour based on delusions (our illusions are very easily disproved) are damaging to ourselves and others?

    Deluded people have very fixed belief on beliefs that are either plainly false or just unprovable. We can easily find examples of false beliefs held by an individual or individuals who go on to harm others. And so how do we determine which of our beliefs are deluded and which are correct and valuable?

    There is no doubt in my mind that mindfulness, brought about through regular practice of meditation, holds the key to keeping ourselves grounded in a useful, compassionate, and loving reality

    There can be no argument against the propagation of a state of mind that improves our awareness of thoughts and behaviour. When we’re able to ask ourselves, is my thinking and behaviour of value to myself and others? We are being mindful. We are thinking about our thinking and behaviour. We are mindful of what we are choosing to teach others.

    Are we teaching testable facts that have value to others, or are we adding to the confusion?

    That last question is very important. In order for us to live lives, with less suffering, we must have clarity. We must teach ourselves and those around us certainty. Less uncertainty, in how the world and society needs to operate and function, to reduce suffering, is a must.

    Learn to meditate, improve mental dexterity, certainty, and strength, and become more mindful

  • Live Moment to Moment and it’s Easy

    For all time I’ve wanted my life to feel easy and it’s been anything but . . .

    Until now. Until now because I choose to be present. Being absolutely present, in this moment, with no thoughts of the past or the future, or forming any judgments of anything whatsoever, means life is flowing and simple. Just flowing from one moment to the next.

    At times I’m left wondering, is it really this simple? Can life really be so pleasant? Without concern for the future, or guilt and regret of the past, it can. I mindfully remind myself what is required:

    NO JUDGMENT OF ANYTHING There is no right or wrong. Everything is unfolding as it should. Everything.

    THE PAST IS PART OF THE PRESENT What happened in the past happened in order to bring you to this place now. Wiser, calmer, stronger, and closer to acceptance of who you truly are (wholeness)

    THE FUTURE WILL UNFOLD AS IT WILL NO MATTER WHAT You can seek to influence the future and your energy will be wasted. Instead, stop your vain attempts to control events and/or people. Conserve your energy for improved alertness and awareness of the present moment now.

    Whenever life’s challenges feel disproportionate and I feel like I’m suffering I must remind myself of the above

    It’s said that suffering is a choice and it can take a very long time to understand this. Being predominantly present and mindful of thoughts and actions brings this into sharp focus. Suffering is created through a lack of awareness. When we are unaware of how we’re creating our suffering it continues. The cessation of suffering occurs when we see how our thoughts and actions generate it. And yes, it really is this simple. So simple, in fact, that it can take a lifetime to realise it.

    Cease suffering, and believe life can be beautiful, through learning mindfulness through meditation. And then all we must do is practice.

    “Of course you have a right to suffer but as practitioners you do not have the right to not practice” – Thich Nhat Hanh