Practising Mindfulness

Category: Meditation & Mindfulness

  • The Mindfulness Activist: Embrace Present Awareness

    Immediately we might think the word activist has no place in being used in conjunction with mindfulness

    I think the word activist is actually very fitting. It fits because mindfulness is a strong action that takes a high degree of concentration.

    When we are mindful we’re at home in the present moment. As the father of mindfulness so succinctly put it:

    “Our true home is not an abstract idea. It is a solid reality that we can touch with our feet, our hands, and our mind in every moment. If we know this, then nobody can take away our true home. Even if people occupy our country or put us in prison, we still have our true home, and no one can ever take it away.

    “You may wonder if the most wonderful moments of your life are already behind you. Or you may think the happiest moment of your life is still to come. But this is the moment we have been waiting for.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

    Using the words ‘Mindfulness Activists’ accurately describes how we must be if we’re to succeed at being aware the vast majority of the time. Try it out. Describe yourself as a Mindfulness Activist and bring yourself home.

    In other posts, I have mentioned the importance of being actively involved, from moment to moment, with meditation and mindfulness. Being actively involved surely means we become activists. Through this we are building strength of mind. This enables us to ensure that awareness of our thoughts, actions and reactions are always uppermost in our mind. When this is the case we are in control of our self. When we are in control of our self we are fearless in our activism.

  • Latest News from The Layman’s Philosopher

    No News is Good News

    Reporting on this blog some time ago I spoke of the need to stop looking at the news. Finally this is something I have followed through with and the results are very interesting. As the saying goes, old habits are hard to break, and how true this is. And it is raising our awareness to our daily actions that is key to dropping those habits that – if they were ever useful in the first place – no longer serve a purpose.

    The news is full of extremes and if we were to believe that these extremes are somehow normal, and the general behaviour of human kind, then we begin to see the world as a pretty rotten place. This was happening to me and has for many years, I completely lost my faith in human kind, as all the horrors of the news became some dreadful generalisation in my mind.

    My habit was to wake up at around 6am, eat breakfast, drink coffee and read the news. I would then begin to feel very tired and would then doze for about another hour or so before finally getting up

    For some strange reason I didn’t put it together that it was reading the news that was having the tiring effect on me. Reading about the extremes of human nature is so exhausting to me, that I would need to doze off and block it all out again, in an attempt to wake up afresh. Only afresh wasn’t happening, there would remain a sort of gloomy fog, hanging over me for most of the morning.

    Now I wake at 6am, eat breakfast, drink coffee and then go out for a walk along the beautiful river Dart. In the morning I now have time to do things like gentle weight training and writing a blog.

    IN other news: The self-centred have no concern for your emotional needs, at all.

    Imagine a demanding child. Quite easy to do really isn’t it. Now imagine this child holding concern for an adults emotional needs. The child will know if a parent or carer is sad or in distress, and will seek to ease this in any way they know how. They will do this simply because an unhappy parent or carer is a threat to their survival. And it certainly can’t be possible for a child to provide emotional sustenance to an adult, only another adult, can do that.

    So if an adult is emotionally limited (unable to recognise, appreciate, understand and express all their emotions) they will be unable to show appropriate consideration for the emotional needs of another. They’re potentially emotionally stuck in childhood and therefore very self-centred. If we’re in this kind of relationship, where one of us is equipped to consider the needs of others, and the other not, then of course this kind of discord eventually eats away at the health of the partnership.

    It can be that we’ve been taught to always consider the needs of others and sometimes this is to the extreme of putting others emotional needs before our own

    An imbalance of this kind in a close relationship between two adults spells disaster. It is important to look deeply at how limited we may be in expressing and understanding our emotions. If we want to move out of childhood into healthy adult relationships, where the needs of others are also important, we must become aware. Relationships where our needs are placed as equally important can be beautiful and rewarding. Being mindful of others involves an awareness of the differences between self-centred, selfish, and self-aware.

    Learn meditation to mindfulness

  • Mindful of Others

    It’s very easy to forget that mindfulness includes the awareness of how others choose to behave

    For some time now I’ve followed a rule that concerns the preservation of my own wellbeing. After all, if I’m going to look after my mind, through the process of mindful awareness, then it naturally follows, that I must be mindful of the behaviour of others towards me.

    The rule is simple: If others are unable to respect my time, privacy and feelings, they will fail to gain my attention

    This is important because – just as you should – I believe my time, privacy and feelings need protecting. They are important. Important, because how we use these things, determines are general wellbeing. The loss of my attention, as is the loss of anyone’s (that we may have fought hard to gain in the first place), is also something I believe others should be cautious of.

    We all have something valuable to teach each other

    If you no longer have my attention, it could well mean that your suffering will remain unaltered. We can all change the suffering of each other. Some can make this worse, some can improve our lives. Ceasing watching the news is good example of this. Since I’ve stopped watching or listening to the news my mindset has changed for the better.

    Privacy must be respected because this is a direct reflection on how important we believe time to ourselves is. Your time must be respected because time is very precious. Time is all we have. Feelings must be respected because they influence our choices and thinking.

    Feelings must be understood if we desire control over our thinking and choices. If others are unable to respect your feelings it reflects on how they understand the importance of their own. If this is lacking, spending time with such people will prove stressful. It’s very easy to dismiss these words as unimportant, yet if you want wellness, always remember to be mindful of others.

  • Curing the Pandemic

    What do we do when there’s a pandemic?

    Well, firstly, we all get terrified, and then we calm ourselves and focus on finding a vaccine.

    And so what do we do about the current pandemic?

    I wonder if you know which particular pandemic I’m referring to? If you’re mindful of your thoughts and behaviour you’ll be aware of your own fearful responses to situations. We might verbally (or worse) lash out at a partner or friend. We might seek to control people and situations. We might freeze and simply do nothing; limiting ourselves through fear.

    As is the case with many things, the simplest solution, is the most powerful

    It isn’t necessary to negotiate with our fear, this only keeps it alive. Instead, we must focus on understanding it’s nature; what exactly are we afraid of? Becoming aware of this through meditation and mindfulness instantly reduces it’s hold over us. Previously, we weren’t aware of the fear, and now that we are, we’re able to look beyond it. What is the worst that can happen? Switch on the light of awareness through mindfulness.

    The long term cure is available when we begin to water the seeds of love and compassion

    The antidote to fear is love. Let’s say, for example, the fear is that of rejection. Look at the root of rejection and we can see, once again, it’s illusory nature. Rejection has the potential to hurt us emotionally. The fear is of that pain. It is fear of fear itself.

    When we love ourselves sufficiently, rejection, holds no potential for pain. The love of the self is the antidote. Begin by watering the seeds of love and they will flourish. Finding these seeds within involves stopping and meditating. We follow this with constant concentration and mindfulness on our thoughts and behaviour. Which seeds are you watering today?

    Learn to meditate.

  • Responding to Aggression with Love and Humility

    Some will always fight fire with fire. The healthy response for mind and body is to extinguish aggression with the cool, quenching powers, of love and humility

    When the bully told the boy: “get down on your knees and kiss my feet” how powerful would it have been if the victim had said: “certainly sir and would you like me to polish your shoes whilst I’m down there?”

    Firstly, we can look at the need of the bully to dominate. There is a likelihood that the bully had experienced a high degree of humiliation from a parent or other adult and needed to inflict this pain on others. This of course doesn’t make it right and yet it helps us understand the child’s pain.

    Secondly, we must look at the strength and courage it would have taken for the victim to respond to the bully with love, humour, and humility. The child victim of the bully would have needed an informed and developed consciousness. He would have needed to be aware, present, and mindful of his words and actions. He would have needed the ability to consider cause and effect. He would have needed to be considered.

    Developing and informing our children is were the answers lie

    The consequences of the majority of us responding to aggression with love and humility are not difficult to see. We would certainly live in a quieter, more peaceful, world. And it is the case, that compared to the past, we already live in a better world. For us to grow and build on this success, we must keep a keen eye on how our children choose to respond to aggression. They can easily be taught the peaceful path when offered love and humility from us adults.

  • Why a Mindfulness Workshop is so Important

    When first becoming involved with mindfulness you’ll quickly learn that meditation is the root to improvement

    Meditation has its challenges and as Mark Manson so eloquently puts it in his book Every Thing is F*cked:

    “Rigorous meditation involves sitting quietly and mercilessly observing yourself. Every thought, every judgment, every inclination, every minute fidget and flake of emotion and trace of assumption that passes before your mind’s eye is ideally captured, acknowledged, and then released back into the void. And worst of all, there’s no end to it. People always lament that they’re “not good” at meditation. There is no getting good. That’s the whole point. You are supposed to suck at it. Just accept the suckage. Embrace the suckage. Love the suckage.”

    As a result of attending a workshop, that teaches the use of meditation as a means of improving mindfulness, you will learn that lengthy or rigorous meditation is really only for hard core extremists or devout Buddhists.

    All we’re looking to achieve is an improved level of consciousness. To simply become more aware. This improved awareness can help us to care for our mind and body.

    Something that Mark Manson also points out is the importance of community. It is important to be amongst people who have similar aspirations. Workshops that bring like minded people together are very powerful at validating and supporting individuals who are embarking on change.

    And change is something you will experience with improved mindfulness. You will become aware of how forgetful (the opposite of mindful) others seem to be. And you will also see, that through learning to view ourselves in a non-judgmental way during meditation, we’re then aware of the importance of viewing everything and everybody in this way too.

  • Personal Growth and Mindfulness

    Personal growth cannot happen until we’re aware of our thoughts and the processes involved

    When we think about it there’s a certain logic in the above statement. How can it be possible to walk the path of personal growth without first becoming aware of what drives us?

    And when I ask what drives us, I’m not asking about the motivation behind embarking on personal growth. What I’m really asking is: What drivings do you have that you’re currently unaware of?

    Once we become mindful of our thoughts we increase the likelihood of recognising those thoughts, that our own minds have designed, to scupper our chances of growing.

    Discovering the nature of our thoughts and then tracing them back to what we believe, and where these beliefs came from, enables us to take control.

    We’re in control because we’ve made ourselves consciously aware, not only of the thoughts, but the nature of them. Are our thoughts limiting or empowering? Positive or negative? What are the beliefs that drive them?

    Yes it is this simple. Never assume though, that just because it’s possible to sum up what we must do in a few sentences, that it’s going to be easy.

    In fact taking control of mind can be very challenging. Isn’t this what life is about? Being challenged at every step? Indeed it is. I doubt you’d be interested if it was easy.

    And consider the rewards of being in control of your mind. Your mind is the only thing you’ll ever be in control of. Your choices are what make the difference.

    And improving the quality of your choices begins by become aware of your thinking and the drivers; Beliefs.

  • Destress Through Mindfulness

    When we’re mindful and focused on those things that really matter we automatically care less about the things that don’t

    It is important to bear in mind that the statement above is empty unless we become actively involved in learning how to improve our ability to be mindful.

    To be mindful simply means to be aware. Aware of the present moment. To be this way we will need to train the mind in certain ways to improve our mental fitness.

    Keeping the mind aware and present takes a lot of mental energy. If the mind isn’t fit it will have become undisciplined.

    The natural tendency is for the mind to follow the path of least resistance and in this way it conserves energy.

    If the mind is unfit this becomes ever more the habit. Our thoughts drift and wonder because the mind is lazy in its habits.

    To be present and aware (alive) we need mental fitness. This is achieved through learning the ancient art of meditation.

    One of the simplest disciplines to learn yet one of the hardest to follow if we are lazy. Bit of a paradox there I feel.

    The solution is the need to improve. We must want an improved quality of life. We must want to be fully alive

    If you are stressed and dissatisfied with your lot, by simply allowing the mind to lazily follow the path of least resistance, nothing will change.

    Except the fact that you’re getting older, that is.

    Life may well just pass you by as your mind wonders off into the past, future or fantasy.

    At the risk of sounding like I’m repeating myself, when we’re able to bring the mind constantly back to the things that are important to us, we will automatically care less about the things that don’t.

  • Something from Nothing

    How can something come from nothing? What happened before time? What was there before the birth of the universe? Can something really come from nothing?

    I sense my addiction to stimulation on a constant basis. Indeed there was a time when my need for stimulation was at the extreme end of the scale. I needed chaos. I needed mania. There had to be something going on constantly. And if not I would find a way to create the chaos I craved. Drama. Oh yes please.

    Imagine coming to the understanding that the thing you prided yourself on (thinking) has actually been the cause of your troubles.

    I used to spend a lot of time in my head. Loneliness will cause this. Thinking, judging, ruminating, puzzling, questioning on and on and on. Constant chatter and deliberation. Chaos in my head and chaos in my life. So here is the solution . . . nothing.

    In my current role I spend a lot of time doing nothing. There are periods of time when I don’t see a customer for days. This can be excruciating for someone who needs stimulation.

    There is a need to keep the mind occupied if you’re addicted to stimulation. This can take the form of thinking or perhaps reading or watching something. Anything to take the mind out of the present moment. Because in the present moment there is nothing happening. And for me, purely because of my addiction, this nothing can be very tricky to deal with. There is even the possibility I’ll look to fill this nothing with eating! Again my addiction to sugar kicks in. Can you gain a sense of my dilemma?

    A dilemma until I find myself able to cope with nothingness in the present moment. And then something does come from nothing . . . calm control over my mind and my beautiful life.

    Learn to improve mindfulness from the gentle art of meditation

  • Carrying Suffering that has no Place in the Here and Now

    Something that has come to light recently for me is the subject of suffering. In particular, I’ve become aware of the possibility, that I’ve been hanging on to suffering that occurred many years ago. To some extent we all do this. Can becoming aware, that we haven’t fully resolved and let go of past suffering, instigates the process of change?

    There is no doubt in my mind that if we continue to hold on to suffering from the past, it will reveal itself to us in ways that bring suffering, in the present

    Put simply, if we fail to resolve and let go of the past, our health will suffer. And in the present moment this might manifest as backache, hypertension, headaches, joint pain, obesity . . . you name it. As the saying goes: ‘The body weeps the tears the eyes refuse to shed.’

    We must find a way to extinguish the pain of the past. This can be achieved through firstly becoming ware of it, and then accepting it as past. It has no place or bearing on the present. It has no bearing on the present because it no longer exists. It is an imagined past (that could well be misremembered anyway) just as the future is imagined. We must also stop blaming the people and situations of the past. Constantly blaming our difficulties on the circumstances we faced in the past only exacerbates our problems. It never helps to seek blame.

    The present moment, void of past and future thinking, can create a beautiful freedom. Logical thinking can sometimes be very beneficial

    We can ask ourselves: how is it I still feel guilty for the mistakes I made all those years ago? The answer may well be that we’ve failed to acknowledge them and accept; that was then and this is now. That was what I was learning at that time. For some reason, only known to yourself, the mind sees a benefit to holding on and replaying the past. Guilt and self-pity can do this.

    In the same way we hold on to suffering from the past, are our expectations, concepts and ideas (beliefs) of happiness stuck there also?

    A common mistake is to assume that the conditions for happiness, we found when young, should remain the same throughout life. This cannot be the case. We have grown and therefore the conditions we have for happiness must evolve also. If we continue to seek the same conditions (imagined or real) in ways we did as a child, it simply won’t work. We’ll never fully realise our true self: A happiness that can come from within. Ponder for a moment: what conditions need to arise for me to feel well now? Now that I am grown what conditions must I maintain to bring out a true sense of joy?