Practising Mindfulness

Category: Meditation & Mindfulness

  • Being Mindful of your Happiness

    I wonder how many of us actually ask the questions, what needs to happen for me to be happy? or how do I take care of my happiness?

    I know a mistake I’ve made is to think that my happiness is something that will take care of itself, and therefore, don’t need to spend time and energy looking after it. With this kind of attitude though, all I’m left with, is depression and/or frustration.

    It’s important for us to consider our needs – for happiness – and ensure we maintain them. This is achieved through mindfulness

    We cannot simply assume happiness will come naturally to us. Perhaps for some it does. On the whole though, most of us need to ensure we’re aware of what we need to be doing to bring us a general sense of these positive feelings, and to then mindfully pursue these things always.

    How and what we think has a direct influence on our feelings

    The act of being present with our minds still and aware can bring a sense of happiness provided we have the right conditions for this. Improving our awareness can help us understand that there often only needs to be a few simple conditions (perhaps just a sunny day or a rainy one for that matter) for happiness to manifest. However, if our internal environment isn’t calm and contented (how many of us have this?) simply doing nothing and expecting the conditions for happiness to present themselves is insufficient. We must be actively involved in improving awareness of these conditions, through being mindful of how and what we’re thinking, and taking good care to maintain this awareness.

  • Self-awareness & Objectivity with Mindfulness

    I noticed in the news today that the mother of a child that was murdered by fellow students wants mindfulness introduced into schools. The story doesn’t make it clear what she believes there is to gain from this and I can only imagine it’s the following:

    Mindfulness increases self-awareness through our ability to see ourselves objectively

    Although this is the case, for children who have murder on their minds, for objectivity to be a preventative measure, these children would firstly need some comparisons and of course a developed sense of wrong and right. They would need a developed understanding of cause and effect. They would also initially need to care about whether their actions are wrong or right. Does self-awareness and objectivity award this to a child?

    My personal feeling is that it would need to be the parents, carers or those responsible for murderous children, to be the ones who’re more mindful

    Mindful parents are those who’re aware of what children’s minds are exposed to and the effects of this exposure. Mindful children who’ve been exposed to – and consequently instilled with – prejudices, hatred and the belief violence is a solution, will still commit murder. In fact, it might even make them better at it. Mindfulness training for children, on its own, would be insufficient.

  • Be Mindful of the Power of Belief

    I grew up with religion. My parents were Roman Catholic. As soon as I was able to leave my childhood home, I rejected religion completely. At least consciously. As a result of my experiences of religion and my training in the psychology of beliefs later in life, I came to understand, at a deep level, how powerful and influential our beliefs are.

    The next time you get the opportunity, if you want to experience the power of beliefs firsthand, visit a large building built through the belief in God. Pause and take it all in.

    In my mind, as may be the case with yourself, religion isn’t fact, only belief. Even so, look at what humans do simply through the power of their beliefs. Always be mindful of what you choose to believe, fact or fiction, you can see it with your own two eyes.

  • Improved Empathy with Mindfulness

    So often when in conversation we’re not fully attentive to the talker. The story of what we believe about the person begins to play out in our minds, and not only this, our attention is directed toward what it is we need to say to reinforce our position and beliefs. Our resistance to fully listening to the talker is due to our need to compound our own identity. To do this we judge and compare. With all this noise internally it really is a wonder we hear anything.

    So rather than this, when we listen mindfully – have our attention 100% fixed on the talker without our own dialog interfering – we will notice something remarkable

    Without your internal script – your own story, resistance, judgements and comparisons – going on in the background, this renewed stillness, opens up your empathic responses. You will begin to feel the other person and they will respond accordingly. Favourably. It’s a win win situation.

    Silence your internal noise through mindfulness. You will improve your empathy toward others – your experience of people – and they will feel loved, and above all, deeply heard.

  • Calm and Untroubled Because I am Mindful

    What is it that causes anxiety? What is it that causes fear? How is it I fret and worry?

    It is my mind. It is my thoughts. For when my mind is still, there is no fear. There is no anger, worry, or anxiety. What remains is a beautiful feeling of serenity. Heaven on earth. A place I’ve found from within.

    It may take some time to reach this place, and when you do, you may wonder why it has taken so long to find such a simple solution. Stop questioning even this. Dismiss it as unimportant. What matters is that you are finally here.

  • Catch your Destructive Thoughts

    It is possible to catch our destructive thoughts before they become actions. To achieve this, we must practise. We must learn to Meditate, and we must then turn our improved mental strength into everyday Mindfulness. We must be dogged and determined if we are to improve our mental health and quality of life

    It may seem like an oversimplification to say the cause of our troubles, lies within our thinking, and yet this is an inescapable truth. The tendency with sitting Meditation is for us to not practise. We must. And we must practise every day if we are to gain the life changing ability of catching our thoughts.

  • Be Mindful of Manipulative People

    As a consequence of being Mindfulness Practitioners, we’re looking to be exceptional examples of human beings. Even so, it is important to be aware, unless we live in some kind of commune or sangha (as the Buddhists call it), we will be living among those who couldn’t care less about being virtuous. Others care nothing about stepping on feelings and being completely indifferent to the needs of friends, family members, work colleagues, etc.

    And so, along with being mindful of our own behaviour, be aware, that if we’re forgetful of the nature of vulnerable and frightened people, we will inadvertently be allowing them to trick us into doing their bidding. For it is the frightened and vulnerable, who seek the illusion of power – over others – through being manipulative. In their attempts to manipulate, they will be mistaking your kindness, for weakness.

  • Mindful of our Happiness

    If we’re unhappy, mindfulness, on its own, isn’t going to change this. It’s very likely that what mindfulness will do is make us acutely aware of our unhappiness in the present moment.

    The value of this awareness is in how it helps us reach the tipping point, necessary for us to instigate change, that little bit sooner. In fact, without mindfulness, we can live our entire lives, never fully realising the happiness we deserve.

  • With Mindfulness You’re no Longer on a Timer

    Because each and everyone of us has an expiration date, the tendency, consciously or not, is to rush from moment to moment. We rush on to the next thing feeling constantly that time is short. We seek to fulfil our minds addiction to constant stimulation; to satisfy what we think and believe about life. What if we’re wrong? What if there is a different way to think about life? What if our awareness to innate drivings was heightened?

    Once we learn to live in the present, to fully immerse ourselves in what’s happening right now, with no thoughts of what’s next, we remove ourselves from the timer

    We must all learn to slow down, because in our haste, we’re rushing through life never fully experiencing what’s right before our eyes. We’re blindly rushing through every moment. In our forgetfulness (the opposite of mindfulness) we’re following instincts that require very little consciousness. It’s only when we stop, and immerse ourselves in the moment, that we begin to see what life really is. Our purpose can move beyond what instinct dictates.

  • Mastering Loneliness and Fear with Mindfulness

    Fear and loneliness drives self-destructive behaviour when we are unaware or in denial of their existence. When I was afraid and alone much of my fear and loneliness had been self-inflicted. The reasons for why I had driven myself to such a point is irrelevant. All that matters now, is my ability to tell my story, so that someone else may be better prepared.

    Mixed in was a large dose of guilt and this was at the root to my self-destructive behaviour. Even so, if I’d been more aware and ready to accept the existence of a place in between my feelings, I would have been better able to navigate the maze

    Once learned, the art of Meditation will help us to become aware of the nature of mind. Through Meditation – that leads to improved Mindfulness – we can become aware of the scheming mind. Afraid and alone the mind will seek to utilize all the tools it has at its disposal in order to help us survive. Even if this is to push the mind to the point of breakdown.

    As a child, I was shown the off switch of a breakdown. Some years ago, this method of survival was employed. A last resort called on from my limited repertoire.

    In order to escape the horror all around her my sister had a breakdown. The only way I can describe how she seemed is to say it was as if a fuse had blown in her mind. At her worst she would just moan and rock backwards and forwards. I can remember my father shaking her in an attempt to get her to stop. I can see now how terrified he was. Of course all his shaking did was make her moan loader and rock even faster. The off switch initially caused her to exhibit strange, irrational, and delusional behaviour. This defense mechanism has been called on by myself and another member of my family since. A very unpleasant place to be.

    But all of this aside, what my parents failed to realise, at the time of my sisters breakdown, was how their behaviour (fear) was what drove her there in the first place. And so we must equip the mind with the tools that are likely to make things far less traumatic and painful than flicking the off switch. My eldest sister never fully returned.

    When we learn control over our thoughts and feelings, this can be a safe place for us to enter, when we need time to observe the self objectively. To look down at our selves from above

    Now we must get to know our fear and loneliness. We must get to know our selves. When we do this, we offer the mind an opportunity to simply acknowledge these feelings, rather than trying to manage them in a self-destructive fashion. As Thich Nhat Hanh stated: “I hold my face between my hands to keep my loneliness warm”

    So many people fail to see their feelings in this way and so fail to take ownership of them. Instead of this the mind devises a plan using the only tools it has available. And due to this lack so many just flick the off switch. We must educate ourselves to fill the tool box of our minds. More tools equals more choice; more power.

    Learn to Meditate, let this lead to improved Mindfulness, and get to know the self.