Practising Mindfulness

Category: Meditation & Mindfulness

  • Easing the Conflict

    I recently heard that there’s something like sixty five conflicts (impossible to confirm, could be more could be less, but you get the point) currently ongoing in the world. That’s right, sixty five! We can easily be indifferent to this through saying: “oh well, that’s just human nature and there’s sod all I can do about it.” And to a degree I would advise doing just that . . . be indifference toward things you can’t possibly have any influence over. However, there is something we can learn for ourselves, through simply being aware of the conflicted nature of our fellow man.

    When we have unrecognized conflict within ourselves this will always need to be expressed in some way. We humans often enjoy witnessing conflict. Be this in wars, soap operas, and politics.

    On a personal level, I remember my mother saying, on several occasions, how arguments “cleared the air.” My mother was a very conflicted person who seemed generally unhappy with the cards she’d been dealt. I feel she often needed an outlet for her frustrations. I wonder now if she imagined herself with a different life to the one she had created? Was this her conflict? It’s certain that constant arguments, with whoever was at hand, had the effect of temporarily easing the anger she felt as a consequence of her conflicted mind.

    Perhaps what she lacked was control over her situation. It is important to bear in mind, we can only effect positive influence over our external environment, once we have full control over the self. Mindful awareness is key.

    The antidote, to easing our troubled minds, is awareness. The need to experience the friction of conflict externally is there because we lack awareness. Acknowledge this.

    When we ask: What do I want? and find the answer to this question to be in opposition to what we’re actually getting, there is obviously discord. We must then find a way to become accepting of our current situation and then plan a peaceful means (draw up a peaceful plan) of getting what we want. It may take time for our plan to come to fruition and acknowledging that time is all we have helps us to become patient. After all it is not the destination that counts.

    Intention, that creates the energy needed for change to happen, is very different to the negative forces created by conflict.

    When we fail to see how conflicted we are, all we’re left with, is a sense of powerlessness. Expressing this through external means (war, arguments, soap operas, politics etc) creates the illusion of power and ultimately keeps us stuck. What’s needed is power over the self and this is gained through awareness. The awareness of our internal conflict. Do those who wage war have power over the self? Are they aware of their internal disputes? They are not.

    There is no conflict, only a short distance between where we are now, and where we want to be in the future.

  • Freedom: How Free are You?

    We humans have such amazing capacity. When at our best we truly are an extraordinary species. We are achieving greatness. With this said, are we clever and extraordinary enough, to set ourselves free? Some of us might well be.

    When I talk of freedom, I’m referring to the ability to reach the core of what we are, and to let all other things go

    We’re all “born with an inclination toward virtue” – Musonius Rufus.         

    What a fabulous belief that is. Acknowledging, that at our root, we are all virtues beings, helps us understand how our experiences, (lived firsthand or witnessed) go on to create the chains we drag around with us all our lives. Those of us who are raised without fear and prejudice are most likely to live a life I would consider free. Let’s face it, though, who of us is raised in such a manner that they are never exposed to fear, prejudice, injustice, hatred, and anger? These things are all around us from the moment we are born. And of course we can’t help but be infected by them.

    The antidote to this comes in the form of how aware we are of these chains

    Imagine each belief we hold – that is borne of fear – creates a link of chains around our ankles. The emotional strength, or bond of each belief, determines how many links each chain has. It doesn’t take much to grasp that the more of these emotionally bound beliefs we hold, the more enslaved we are as a result.

    Very quickly we can gain an understanding of the nature of our beliefs and where they came from

    As a result of understanding the nature of our beliefs, we raise our awareness of the possibility that we’re enslaving ourselves with the heavy chains of those borne of fear. When more of use truly grasps the destructive nature of so many of our prejudicial beliefs (that we’re barely aware of), we will then go on to free ourselves incrementally. Through raising our awareness, stage by stage, we will once again achieve the freedom we were born with.

  • Measure of Success

    The spiral of decline will cease once more of us begin to measure our success, not in terms of wealth, status, or possessions, but in terms of how aware we are.

    Mindfulness, of the value of our thoughts, beliefs, words, and actions, will bring a true sense of success that will aid our longevity.

  • You Already Are What You Want to Become

    We might ask: How is it this kind of language and thinking isn’t being heard as much as it should? Much of what you will hear in this video is simple and straight forward. It is its very simplicity that makes it so challenging to listen to. Also by adopting the principles and beliefs talked about here you will need to change. And change is the most challenging thing of all. But change we must

  • Replace all the Parts

    When components are interconnected it means all of the parts will experience wear. If we replace a shock absorber on a car’s suspension system, we must replace all the interconnected components that are also likely to be worn. If not, we won’t experience the full benefit of the replaced part, and quite possibly, cause damage to this new part as a result.

    In this respect, if we want mindfulness to be effective, and receive great benefits from our practise, we must have an understanding of the interconnectedness and relationships between our thoughts and behaviours. Provided our understanding is deep enough, the practice of mindfulness, can improve our lives and help us understand why we do what we do. When we have this understanding we have the power to change.

    If we wish, we can trace the origins of mindfulness, back to Buddhism. And if we’re embarking on a spiritual path, as a means of developing ourselves, or simply because we have an interest in this area, then I will agree with the Buddhist’s point of view – that we cannot have mindfulness, without Buddhist beliefs.

    I am not on a spiritual path but I do want a healthy mind and body. In this respect, developing and improving my awareness of actions, words. thoughts, their root, and how they effect me, is the way forward. This, is to have a deep understanding, of mindfulness.

    I must remember that the mind is predisposed to reject what contrary to the established beliefs I hold. And to question the effectiveness of complicated solutions will help with this. Simple is challenging, and yet simple solutions, are always the most powerful. It’s conflicting beliefs that complicate matters. The belief that mindfulness must be associated with being spiritual can hold us back. We can take this one aspect of a belief system (mindfulness), believe in it’s effectiveness, and improve our general wellbeing.

    I feel that it’s much to the chagrin of spiritual leaders that we can take one aspect of a belief system, without having to abide to ridged doctrines, for it to be effective. However, to succeed at our endeavour of improved wellbeing, we must grasp all aspects of what it means to be mindful.

    The challenge is mindfulness in itself. Our addiction to being over stimulated, through thinking, lifestyle, beliefs and our behaviours is, so powerful, that the mind would much rather stick with this chaos, than find the opposing state of mind stillness will bring. The mind is often completely unaccustomed to stillness, especially during stressful, anxious times. And we can still the mind, through a deep understanding of mindfulness, even when what’s going on around us is the usual chaos. All we need do is believe it’s possible.

  • The Mindfulness Tool

    If it hasn’t happened already there will come a time when you’ll try and do a job without the correct tools

    In a sense much of the troubles we encounter in life can be down to using the wrong tools or not sufficiently developing the correct ones. I recently decided to replace the front suspension on my car. All was well until I tried to tighten a particular nut. In order to tighten it sufficiently, it became apparent, that a particular tool was required. I had no idea this tool even existed until I researched it. I knew the centre spindle – of what I was tightening the nut onto – needed securing in some way, but had no way of doing it. I’d worked out how it could be done, but knew of no tool on the market that would be up to the job. I searched the internet and discovered the tool required was called a ‘go through ratchet.’

    Put simply, it enables you to place an alum key through the centre of the ratchet – to hold a spindle still – whilst tightening the nut. A very simple solution that you’d have no idea existed until you took some time to research it. And without the proper tightness on this nut all sorts of problems can arise. From an annoying rattle, to parts wearing out much quicker than they should. You wouldn’t believe the satisfaction I’ve receive from finding the correct tool, that makes a job not just possible, but effortless.

    There are several tools required before you’ll be able to improve you’re level of mindfulness. The first is patience and the second is meditation. Without patience, meditation will be unpleasant, and without meditation, mindfulness will never be fully achieved

    I would suggest the first tool to attain is patience. The tool of patience does come with time, however, no matter how old a person might become they may never learn patience. I believe we develop the tool of patience when we become less fearful. All we need do is ask: How is it I’m in such a rush? What is my frustration? How is it I lack understanding?

    Perhaps compassion will also help us with patience. Yes, we must have understanding and compassion. We must also have very little fear; whether that be a fear of loss, a fear of not being understood – or whatever our fear might be – that’s causing our lack of patience.

    When it comes to meditation, our lack of patience, might be the result of our unwillingness to work as hard as is required to become effective

    Another interesting thing to consider is our self-belief. Do we believe we’re capable. If we lack self-belief this can lead to us trying to use the wrong tools (Meditation/Mindfulness apps?). In addition, attempting to do a job without the proper tools can be a symptom of these kind of beliefs: I always get things wrong. I find things too difficult. I lack patience.

    How will we ever develop patience if we believe something is too difficult. Believing things are beyond our ability will cause us to lose patience and give up.

    For me to complete the job I set out to do, I needed to firstly take a breath, and then use the tool of patience to gain a better understanding, of what I was attempting to do. All I was finding, without the correct tool, was frustration and anger. Now I have the tools and understanding I can finish the job and revel in the feelings of satisfaction that will come with this.

    The degree of mindfulness we achieve will be determined by our mental fitness. Mental fitness is improved through meditation. Meditation becomes a pleasant activity once we have the tool of patience at our disposal. So remember:

    • The tool of patience comes when we are fearless and have understanding and compassion toward ourselves and each other
    • Meditation becomes a pleasant activity once we have patience in our toolbelt
    • Our level of mindfulness is improved through the mental fitness regular meditation awards us

  • Life: A Journey of Self-discovery

    We humans have climbed the highest mountains, dived to the deepest depths of the oceans, and travelled to the moon and back. And all of us are on the most important journey of all: The Journey Home

    On many occasions over the last twenty five years I’ve asked myself this question: How am I doing this? And a very recent revelation for me was the understanding, that it is only when I take full responsibility, for how I create all my joys, sadness, anguish and suffering, will I be better able to control my internal environment. And it is this environment that matters. I have no control over external factors. From the behaviour of others, to the time and date of expected arrivals, these things are in the wind.

    When I fully accept that it is me deciding all matters, whether good, bad, health or ill-health, painful or comforting, I am empowered to change things

    As I go through my day, there are times when I feel my stress levels change. I live with impaired hearing and tinnitus. Through accepting that it is me creating tinnitus I’m empowered to make a choice. I can either suffer or delve into understanding the mechanism behind the issue. I can seek to understand how I increase or decrease my stress levels. This goes for all of us. We can ask ourselves the very same question: How am I doing this? Some might feel offended that I should suggest that we’re all creating our own problems. They might say: “How dare you suggest I’m creating my illness. How dare you suggest I’m choosing to suffer”

    And for those who feel this way, it would be useful to question what being a victim to your problems is doing for you. This is a very important question. I could easily go through the rest of my life feeling like a victim to circumstances. I could continue to blame my past. I’ve spent far too much time doing this already. It hasn’t got me anywhere. The only thing that has succeeded at helping me move forward, and enjoy my life, is the increased awareness of how I must think and act in order to help myself feel happier.

    Through looking deeply into the issue of tinnitus I now understand the link between the condition and fear

    As a child I often felt humiliated. I remember being placed in a remedial class in junior school and I understand the long lasting effects of this. Throughout my life I’ve had a deep fear of looking stupid; of seeming stupid to others. I developed the belief: I am stupid. The first means of attacking my misconceptions and limiting beliefs was to ask: Why does it matter what other people think? And of course it doesn’t. However, the cause of this thinking, comes down to my own habit of judging others. The cure to this is mindfulness of thoughts. Very simple.

    The second means of attack is to consider the consequences of the belief : I look stupid to others. On asking myself what the consequences have been, my mind has shown me many occasions, when my behaviour has been appalling. I’ve actively humiliated myself – and made myself feel stupid to others – so many times I’ve lost count. The flipside of this is to be very controlled and uptight, for fear of making mistakes, and again, looking stupid. This is the power of beliefs. We will actively find ways to fulfil them. Once aware of how we do this, it stops.

    I can easily see the connection between deafness and stupidity. Something that was very prevalent during my early years and perhaps still is today. Are you deaf or stupid? was the question. Some people often connect deafness with stupidity. This was certainly taught to me as a child. And so through this type of questioning and analysis I can clearly see that deafness is a symptom of my belief. I have unconsciously, unknowingly, damaged my very sensitive hearing during my life and there is no going back from this. Tinnitus is connected to how hard I’m straining to hear people. It creates stress and stress worsens the condition.

    And so the cure is firstly to stop judging people (so I stop feeling judged myself). What does it matter what people thing? It doesn’t matter. Why should it? It mattered as a child because it reflected on my schooling. What people thing now is irrelevant. They have no right to judge me. I’m doing the best of my abilities and always have done. The second aspect of the cure is to stop straining to hear people. If I can’t hear them, it doesn’t matter. Sound is often overrated, there are many ways to communicate. At work I no longer ask someone their details, I get them to write it down. I also explain that I’m hearing impaired and seek to shift the onus onto them. We all want to help someone with a disability so people will want to help me understand them. We all want to be understood do we not?

    The most important journey is the one we make in finding ourselves. The sooner the journey starts, the better.

    For help and advice with your own journey you can contact me here: andrew@freedmancollege.org

  • Forgetfulness and a Broken Wrist

    It’s so easy for us to slip out of being mindful of the present moment and this is when accidents can happen

    So there she is, sitting on a bench eating her sandwiches whilst admiring the bluebells, it’s a beautiful day . . . about to be shattered. Up she gets with her mind thinking about what she has next planned. You can almost imagine it happening in slow motion, can’t you? As she places her foot on the ground, she slips on some unseen bluebells growing next to the bench. As she falls backwards, her right hand automatically moves behind her to break her fall. Unfortunately, she lands awkwardly and snap! Her wrist is broken. Pain shoots up her arm instantly telling her something isn’t right.

    Sitting on the ground now, she takes a moment to absorb what’s just happened and looks down at her wrist. Oh, that doesn’t look right. Indeed, it doesn’t, and there seems to be something preventing her from moving her hand in the normal way. That’ll be because of the broken bones, my dear.

    A moment of forgetfulness is all it takes to ruin your day

    And for the unfortunate lady (my partner) in the previous paragraph, the next six weeks, are going to be a challenge. Having taken my partner to the A&E department in Torquay (who did a fantastic job) I witnessed the rather traumatic process of her having the radius bone in her wrist reset. The break is called a distal radius fracture.

    Injections (some kind of pain killer), gas and air (nitrous oxide) all administered and the pulling began. It took three of them: one to pull the hand whilst another held the elbow and the third wrapped the setting plaster. It’s a very painful way to learn about the importance of having the mind firmly in the present moment.

    When placing one foot in front of the other, we often leave this up to our unconscious mind, with the other part of our mind elsewhere. Thich Nhat Hanh actually developed a mindfulness exercise called Mindful Walking. It’s when we place all of our focus and attention on the very thing we’re doing in that moment. Not always possible. And yet if we practice mindfulness, gained from the art of meditation, we are less likely to experience accidents. Forgetfulness is when we fail to remain present.

    Get well soon my love, I promise to do my best, at looking after you. x

  • Freedom of the Present Moment

    A long time ago, living in a fantasy world, was my form of freedom

    It was important for me to develop a powerful imagination and use it as a means of escape. To be able to disassociate from the present was a coping mechanism. Young minds crave stimulation, and when this isn’t forthcoming, from those around them, developing a good imagination is important. And some might say that this can be beneficial in many other ways as we move through life. Lonely children can be very creative. This doesn’t make neglect right though does it? Fortunately enough, we humans do have a profound ability, to turn adversity to our advantage.

    Now that we’re older, continuing to live in fantasy distracts us from being fully alive, and fully experiencing beautiful realities of life. We can miss out on what beauty the world has to offer

    If our present situation is very poor or distressing there can be a tendency for us to remain with the coping mechanism of fantasy. The limitation of this is how it can tend to keep us stuck. When all we do is escape into imaginings, we will continue to live under difficult circumstances, for longer. If we wish to improve our lot then we must act. We cannot act if we don’t aspire.

    And so bringing the mind into the present moment, even when we live under difficult circumstances, guarantees we become fully engaged with the realities of life

    As painful as it might initially be, keeping the mind in the now moment, begins the process of setting ourselves free. We can’t be free if our minds our not present. We could argue that freedom is the escape fantasy offers, but we must ask: at what cost? Are we not three quarters of the way to being dead if we’re not at home?

    It’s said that when we become aware of the breath and engage with our senses that we then come home to ourselves

    Think of the image of a daydreaming person. Their mind isn’t present. Where exactly is that person whilst their mind is lost in the past, future, or fantasy? They’re not at home are they? So when we become aware of our breath – as taught during mindfulness workshops – we return home to ourselves. We can then either enjoy that present moment or decide on what we must do to improve it.

  • What Does it Take?

    What does it take to believe that we ALL hold the key to a beautiful life right there in our hands?

    I asked myself: Why didn’t I simply believe what I was being shown twenty five years ago, instead of creating the turmoil, I’ve experienced since? And I understand why. I understand that I didn’t have the courage and strength to look deeply enough into the root of my loneliness. I didn’t want to see how truly alone I was and still am. This alone is the alone we all have. We are all alone within our own minds and much of what we are doing is an attempt to escape this.

    Through looking deeply into my loneliness I understand that I have always felt this way

    And so much of my behavior over the years has been an attempt to ease this unrecognised yearning to feel less lonely. Almost everything: Pleasing people in an attempt to keep them close. The jobs I’ve done, money I’ve earned, and drink and drugs I’ve consumed. When I did finally look at the root of my loneliness it felt like I was going insane. Such was the pain, it felt like I was breaking in two.

    And I believe now, that having come through the other side, fear is no longer the obstacle it once was. What it took, was a true acceptance that I have the solution to cleaning up my life, easily, within my grasp. It took for me to finally accept that I was in charge of all my joys and sorrows. That it was me creating my good and bad experiences: That I am what I think I am, therefore, I am my thoughts. And when we have control over our thoughts we have control over our lives. It really is this simple, and what was clouding my engagement with this, was my determination to avoid looking deeply at loneliness. I was not accepting of myself. In the process all I created was my own personal hell.

    I feel anyone who is experiencing difficulties, and seeking a way out of this, must stop avoiding the self

    Many years ago I wrote about loneliness being the result of loneliness from the self. A failure to be in touch with ones self. Even seeing this and writing it down in a book was insufficient. So great was the fear and anguish. What I needed to do, was to clearly see and feel, all the pain and anguish of the lonely little boy I remained.

    And so, if you want a fast track to a beautiful life, look at what you hold in your hands right there in front of you. Believe the solution is easily within reach and it will be. Paradoxically, looking deeply into our suffering, means we stop choosing it as a life option.

    Learn to be aware of yourself; your thoughts, and award yourself the power, to create a beautiful life.