Practising Mindfulness

Category: Meditation

  • The Bear in The Woods

    You are cross legged, your back is straight. There is a little strength in your abdomen. The air is still. You’re focused on your breathing; the air is passing in and out of your nose; your lips are slightly parted with your tongue gently resting on your two front teeth. You’re aware of the temperature difference in your nose between the in breath and the out breath. It’s a beautiful morning, pleasantly cool, just right. You’re facing the lake, eyes are half closed, and there is a faint mist gently rising from the tepid water.

    You are still and calm. You allow thoughts to come in and out of your mind and you sense your concentration improving. Your concentration on your breathing is improving. You’re beginning to exclude everything else from your mind. You are intently aware of your breathing

    All around the lake are woods. The trees are tall and lush; their leaves are a beautiful green. There are creatures in the woods, all going about their business: searching for food, seeking out mates, building their nests. There is one creature in the woods we might need to be wary of: A large brown bear.

    Normally, we would have no reason to be afraid of a brown bear, but this particular bear, is very hungry, restless and a little confused. He sees you sitting on the shore. He is trying to catch your scent but the gentle breeze is offshore and so he can only guess at what you are

    What you are is an enigma. The bear is silently watching you from behind the trees furiously sniffing at the air. Are you a danger to him? Are you edible? Are you an easy meal? Are you a plaything? Why do you not see him and run away? After all, surely YOU, can smell HIM?!

    The bear decides to approach you. His paws barely making a sound as he moves across the gravel. He is now beside you, gently sniffing. He’s never smelt such a thing before: A human, still, fearless and calm

    The bear becomes increasingly confused. He knows you know he is there, he sees you breathing, and yet you do not move, you do not run, you do not smell afraid. The bear becomes agitated in his confusion. He pushes at your arm with his nose. Your body rights itself and you remain balanced and still. The bear means nothing to you. You know he cannot make sense of you and the bear himself is becoming afraid. He emits a low growl from deep down in his throat.

    This sounds makes you aware of his fear. All you need to do now is tell him to move on. Gently, in a whisper, you say, ‘Go back to the woods now dear bear, there are small creatures there, far more appetizing then me. They know to be afraid and will make far more interesting prey’

    The big brown bear stands, turns, and makes his way slowly back to the woods. He knows the game is up, he has failed to aggravate you; to unsettle your calm. Your fearlessness has made you formidable.

  • Mindful Gameplay

    Winning the game of life is accomplished when we’re aware

    Currently, there are some very intelligent minds creating the belief that the universe is a simulation. So tangled have they become – with trying to make sense of it all – that they’re now beginning to postulate that the universe acts very much like a quantum computer.

    The conclusion they’ve reached is that the universe is a simulation being played out on a vast computer set up somewhere in an alternate alien dimension. Some very intelligent people actually believe this.

    I’m not about to start debating this either way because I don’t think there is anything to gain from that. In other words, it doesn’t matter a toss

    It doesn’t matter because, real or simulated, we’re all still experiencing life (some more than others), and real or simulated, it’s a game either way.

    Treating life as if it were a game is sensible on many levels. Not because it makes the business of living life any less important. It’s because learning gameplay helps us to navigate, what can seem on the surface, a very complicated affair.

    Establishing the rules and playing with awareness eases the way
    • Learn to love one’s self
    • Become aware of fear based gameplay (do you need to control or are you being controlled? Are you being manipulated, or do you seek to manipulate?)
    • As much as possible, make life decisions based on compassion and love. Ask yourself, what would love do?
    • Always act with integrity
    • Be present (to what extent are you allowing the past or future fantasy to influence your choices)?
    • Learn to meditate and practice daily
    • Be mindful of thoughts and behaviour and how they influence your feelings
    • Be mindful of allowing your feelings to overrule reasoned thinking

    Listed above are just a few simple rules you must play by. If you want to win, remove your confusion and follow one set of rules only. The correct set.

  • The Loving Nature of Mindfulness

    By becoming better aware (mindful), of what’s behind our self-destructive nature, we can turn our lives around

    Let’s jump straight in. For us to live a long and fulfilling life, we need to start with something very important. The ability to love one’s self. That’s right. And once again it’s possible to instantly think that this is an oversimplification.

    And yet, when we look, it is easy to see, that those of us who have the grounding of self-love, are, more often than not, the healthiest, most balanced and fulfilled people around.

    In contrast, as with many others, I personally grew up with love being extremely conditional. There were strings attached to any sense of self-love. In other words, I was taught to love only a few aspects of myself.

    These things, within myself, that I learnt to believe as lovable, were only serving a purpose for the people I was around during childhood.

    “Oh doesn’t he have an old head on his shoulders” As with this example – to learn to love one’s self for not being a child – when in childhood – can lead to all sorts of problems

    Being robbed of childhood in this way can be very damaging. To much responsibility in childhood has led me to fervently avoid responsibility in adulthood. Even to myself.

    And we could ask, why did this child have ‘an old head on his shoulders?’ Neglect is what comes to mind. Instead, how would it be if we were taught to love ourselves as a whole?

    How would it be if we were taught, that simply acknowledging our humanity, can be sufficient to love one’s self? Why do we feel the need to make love specific to certain things? Surely our whole being is love.

    Meditation that leads to improved mindfulness is an act of self- love. If we lack this, then caring for ourselves, in any fashion, will be a challenge

    In this respect, if we’re struggling with our practice of meditation, and giving out all manner of reasons for why (I don’t have time, I lack self discipline etc.) it would be very valuable to question if it’s a lack of self-love that’s lying at the core.

    If so, learning to love one’s self, can be a challenge the mind would prefer not to take on. Bear this in mind with the answers that present themselves when asking probing questions.

  • Be Aware of What you Want

    Within the understanding, of those who understand, is this truth: We always get what we want

    Some people unconsciously fear success and the changes this might bring. This fear can manifest as outright failure, disappointment, and/or frustration. Through becoming aware of the knowledge imparted here, we can make a powerful shift in how we perceive and deal with life’s challenges.

    An important consideration, hidden within this seemingly positive truth, is how there are two aspects to the mind. Conscious and unconscious. Of course, unless you’re a sadist, you consciously want a good life. However, beneath the surface of your consciousness are hidden wants. A guilty mind, for example, will unconsciously want all manner of shit to rain down at a constant rate. And so the trick, if we can call it that, is to become aware of what we want at the unconscious level.

    It is relatively easy to get the trick. All we need do is ask ourselves the important question as to how our difficulties manifest themselves. Ask: What is causing my suffering? And then ask: How can it be that the problems I’m encountering are something my mind wants?

    It is the case that our difficulties and subsequent suffering are serving some kind of purpose. Our suffering is providing something. It may be the illusion of control over others. It could be the illusion of control over our circumstances. It could simply be that our suffering is there as a means to motivate us to start doing things differently.

    Whatever the outcomes to our endeavours, when we accept the understanding, that whatever the problems might be, it is something our minds are responsible for – we are fulfilling a want. This simple awareness can be sufficient to change future outcomes.

  • Getting to Grips with Illusions, Delusions, and Reality with Mindfulness

    Does it actually matter if we live our lives ignorant of our delusions and illusions? One thing is for sure, our minds are very adept at keeping our reality in line with our beliefs

    For me, it all comes down to value. In other words, is there true value in moving through life (or just for a measured amount of time) basing our thoughts and actions on those things that are far removed from reality? And of course, we must consider that delusions, from a subjective point of view, are reality.

    So perhaps all we need ask is whether our thoughts and behaviour based on delusions (our illusions are very easily disproved) are damaging to ourselves and others?

    Deluded people have very fixed belief on beliefs that are either plainly false or just unprovable. We can easily find examples of false beliefs held by an individual or individuals who go on to harm others. And so how do we determine which of our beliefs are deluded and which are correct and valuable?

    There is no doubt in my mind that mindfulness, brought about through regular practice of meditation, holds the key to keeping ourselves grounded in a useful, compassionate, and loving reality

    There can be no argument against the propagation of a state of mind that improves our awareness of thoughts and behaviour. When we’re able to ask ourselves, is my thinking and behaviour of value to myself and others? We are being mindful. We are thinking about our thinking and behaviour. We are mindful of what we are choosing to teach others.

    Are we teaching testable facts that have value to others, or are we adding to the confusion?

    That last question is very important. In order for us to live lives, with less suffering, we must have clarity. We must teach ourselves and those around us certainty. Less uncertainty, in how the world and society needs to operate and function, to reduce suffering, is a must.

    Learn to meditate, improve mental dexterity, certainty, and strength, and become more mindful

  • Live Moment to Moment and it’s Easy

    For all time I’ve wanted my life to feel easy and it’s been anything but . . .

    Until now. Until now because I choose to be present. Being absolutely present, in this moment, with no thoughts of the past or the future, or forming any judgments of anything whatsoever, means life is flowing and simple. Just flowing from one moment to the next.

    At times I’m left wondering, is it really this simple? Can life really be so pleasant? Without concern for the future, or guilt and regret of the past, it can. I mindfully remind myself what is required:

    NO JUDGMENT OF ANYTHING There is no right or wrong. Everything is unfolding as it should. Everything.

    THE PAST IS PART OF THE PRESENT What happened in the past happened in order to bring you to this place now. Wiser, calmer, stronger, and closer to acceptance of who you truly are (wholeness)

    THE FUTURE WILL UNFOLD AS IT WILL NO MATTER WHAT You can seek to influence the future and your energy will be wasted. Instead, stop your vain attempts to control events and/or people. Conserve your energy for improved alertness and awareness of the present moment now.

    Whenever life’s challenges feel disproportionate and I feel like I’m suffering I must remind myself of the above

    It’s said that suffering is a choice and it can take a very long time to understand this. Being predominantly present and mindful of thoughts and actions brings this into sharp focus. Suffering is created through a lack of awareness. When we are unaware of how we’re creating our suffering it continues. The cessation of suffering occurs when we see how our thoughts and actions generate it. And yes, it really is this simple. So simple, in fact, that it can take a lifetime to realise it.

    Cease suffering, and believe life can be beautiful, through learning mindfulness through meditation. And then all we must do is practice.

    “Of course you have a right to suffer but as practitioners you do not have the right to not practice” – Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Mindfulness Activist: Embrace Present Awareness

    Immediately we might think the word activist has no place in being used in conjunction with mindfulness

    I think the word activist is actually very fitting. It fits because mindfulness is a strong action that takes a high degree of concentration.

    When we are mindful we’re at home in the present moment. As the father of mindfulness so succinctly put it:

    “Our true home is not an abstract idea. It is a solid reality that we can touch with our feet, our hands, and our mind in every moment. If we know this, then nobody can take away our true home. Even if people occupy our country or put us in prison, we still have our true home, and no one can ever take it away.

    “You may wonder if the most wonderful moments of your life are already behind you. Or you may think the happiest moment of your life is still to come. But this is the moment we have been waiting for.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

    Using the words ‘Mindfulness Activists’ accurately describes how we must be if we’re to succeed at being aware the vast majority of the time. Try it out. Describe yourself as a Mindfulness Activist and bring yourself home.

    In other posts, I have mentioned the importance of being actively involved, from moment to moment, with meditation and mindfulness. Being actively involved surely means we become activists. Through this we are building strength of mind. This enables us to ensure that awareness of our thoughts, actions and reactions are always uppermost in our mind. When this is the case we are in control of our self. When we are in control of our self we are fearless in our activism.

  • Curing the Pandemic

    What do we do when there’s a pandemic?

    Well, firstly, we all get terrified, and then we calm ourselves and focus on finding a vaccine.

    And so what do we do about the current pandemic?

    I wonder if you know which particular pandemic I’m referring to? If you’re mindful of your thoughts and behaviour you’ll be aware of your own fearful responses to situations. We might verbally (or worse) lash out at a partner or friend. We might seek to control people and situations. We might freeze and simply do nothing; limiting ourselves through fear.

    As is the case with many things, the simplest solution, is the most powerful

    It isn’t necessary to negotiate with our fear, this only keeps it alive. Instead, we must focus on understanding it’s nature; what exactly are we afraid of? Becoming aware of this through meditation and mindfulness instantly reduces it’s hold over us. Previously, we weren’t aware of the fear, and now that we are, we’re able to look beyond it. What is the worst that can happen? Switch on the light of awareness through mindfulness.

    The long term cure is available when we begin to water the seeds of love and compassion

    The antidote to fear is love. Let’s say, for example, the fear is that of rejection. Look at the root of rejection and we can see, once again, it’s illusory nature. Rejection has the potential to hurt us emotionally. The fear is of that pain. It is fear of fear itself.

    When we love ourselves sufficiently, rejection, holds no potential for pain. The love of the self is the antidote. Begin by watering the seeds of love and they will flourish. Finding these seeds within involves stopping and meditating. We follow this with constant concentration and mindfulness on our thoughts and behaviour. Which seeds are you watering today?

    Learn to meditate.

  • Responding to Aggression with Love and Humility

    Some will always fight fire with fire. The healthy response for mind and body is to extinguish aggression with the cool, quenching powers, of love and humility

    When the bully told the boy: “get down on your knees and kiss my feet” how powerful would it have been if the victim had said: “certainly sir and would you like me to polish your shoes whilst I’m down there?”

    Firstly, we can look at the need of the bully to dominate. There is a likelihood that the bully had experienced a high degree of humiliation from a parent or other adult and needed to inflict this pain on others. This of course doesn’t make it right and yet it helps us understand the child’s pain.

    Secondly, we must look at the strength and courage it would have taken for the victim to respond to the bully with love, humour, and humility. The child victim of the bully would have needed an informed and developed consciousness. He would have needed to be aware, present, and mindful of his words and actions. He would have needed the ability to consider cause and effect. He would have needed to be considered.

    Developing and informing our children is were the answers lie

    The consequences of the majority of us responding to aggression with love and humility are not difficult to see. We would certainly live in a quieter, more peaceful, world. And it is the case, that compared to the past, we already live in a better world. For us to grow and build on this success, we must keep a keen eye on how our children choose to respond to aggression. They can easily be taught the peaceful path when offered love and humility from us adults.

  • Why a Mindfulness Workshop is so Important

    When first becoming involved with mindfulness you’ll quickly learn that meditation is the root to improvement

    Meditation has its challenges and as Mark Manson so eloquently puts it in his book Every Thing is F*cked:

    “Rigorous meditation involves sitting quietly and mercilessly observing yourself. Every thought, every judgment, every inclination, every minute fidget and flake of emotion and trace of assumption that passes before your mind’s eye is ideally captured, acknowledged, and then released back into the void. And worst of all, there’s no end to it. People always lament that they’re “not good” at meditation. There is no getting good. That’s the whole point. You are supposed to suck at it. Just accept the suckage. Embrace the suckage. Love the suckage.”

    As a result of attending a workshop, that teaches the use of meditation as a means of improving mindfulness, you will learn that lengthy or rigorous meditation is really only for hard core extremists or devout Buddhists.

    All we’re looking to achieve is an improved level of consciousness. To simply become more aware. This improved awareness can help us to care for our mind and body.

    Something that Mark Manson also points out is the importance of community. It is important to be amongst people who have similar aspirations. Workshops that bring like minded people together are very powerful at validating and supporting individuals who are embarking on change.

    And change is something you will experience with improved mindfulness. You will become aware of how forgetful (the opposite of mindful) others seem to be. And you will also see, that through learning to view ourselves in a non-judgmental way during meditation, we’re then aware of the importance of viewing everything and everybody in this way too.