Category: Meditation
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Discover a Different Form of Happiness
It is slightly mind-blowing to think that there is, in fact, a different form of happiness that we can cultivate and focus on
We must first consider what it takes to touch on this other form of happiness. We do, of course, know the happiness we get from being amongst other people or from our consumerism. We can see the from of happiness we get from outside of ourselves. We feel it internally, but the trigger is an external stimuli.
Imagine the excitement of a night out with friends or a trip abroad. Image the feelings we receive when we buy something new. This is often what we’re taught happiness is about. I can even remember my own mother describing a child, who had everything they wanted in the material world, as someone who was very loved. Perhaps a way to justify her own inability to express love for her children in a tactile way.
When we begin to see that happy children aren’t necessarily from wealthy backgrounds, we begin to understand how innocence plays its part. Provided poverty doesn’t equal neglect, money, is actually irrelevant to a child
One of the most important ways to discover, the form of happiness that exists within us, is the ability to be absolutely, fully, present. I’ve recently found myself with a responsibility I didn’t particularly want. However, understanding the importance of being present has helped me not only carry the burden easily but to enjoy it.
My sharing of a responsibility is easing the burden on someone else, and that is giving me an enormous amount of satisfaction and pleasure. Being present during the process is enabling me to immerse myself fully into it.
Whilst aware and present, my mind is no longer seeking to be somewhere else doing something that carries less responsibility or involves another form of stimulation, which might be more fun.
Mindfully working through my responsibility has taken any form of suffering away. When we want (to be doing something different somewhere else), we suffer. We could say that when suffering is removed, happiness is what remains.
This happiness is brought about as a result of fully immersing oneself in being alive. When we do this, pleasure can be derived from the most mundane of actions because our happiness has changed form
That’s right! The form of happiness has switched from an external stimulation to the simple pleasure derived from being present and alive.
When we fully appreciate the pleasure of being alive – experienced when fully and absolutely present – we are happy. If we’re not fully present, we’re not fully appreciating what it actually means to be alive. Our mind is somewhere other than here and now. Surly, when this is the case, are we not three quarters of the way to being dead?
Be present and happy, through the mindfulness gained from learning how to improve your mental fitness, through proper meditation practice. Return to innocence now.
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All the things to Cultivate
Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com Does the condition of being human make it hard to cultivate the following?
- Love
- Compassion
- Generosity
- Empathy
- Kindness
- Gentleness
- Understanding
- Acceptance
What I find fascinating is, it’s the very condition of being human, that would have prevented me from seeking more of these things as a younger man.
In fact, I wouldn’t have had a reason, to seek these things. The methods taught me to survive and cope with the madness were working. For so long, I’ve been wrapped up in the western world’s belief in what form happiness should take, and how to find it.
Perhaps, now that you are reading this, you’re ready to cultivate the things that really matter in life. If not, there’s every chance it will be a while, before you come back here. Don’t leave it too long.
The most powerful way of helping others to live with less pain and suffering is to be the very example of what we seek to cultivate
If you’re ready to find more of these things, and would like to become a shinning example to others, this podcast is a good place to start. Be clear: there is no suggestion that we should all become Buddhist monks. No. The suggestion is that we begin to listen, and become further examples, of those who believe, not just in the power of love and compassion, but in all the things to cultivate.
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From Turmoil to Stillness (limitless potential)
There’s a torrid restlessness driven by a longing that must be satisfied. The driving, to fulfill what the heart believes, is so overwhelming, that nothing can stop its progress. Only once you hold the potential in your hands will you ever calm the torment of a restless mind
We’re all longing for something aren’t we? And how many of us actually know what it is we seek? Perhaps, like most, there’s a driving that comes from deep within that can’t be defined. We don’t understand this desire, we just blindly pursue it. We’re restless until all the pieces are in place. And yet what are the pieces? What is it we want?
Even though we’re unable to define this longing within us; unable to see the end goal, we keep on striving for it
It’s like the new born child who doesn’t understand hunger but just knows there’s something required. In order to survive the baby senses their needs. The methods used to gain these requirements is to appeal to its carer. The appeal is formed through crying and wriggling – to display restlessness – until soothed and provided for. Why should our minds now be any different? As long as we believe there is a requirement for our survival, that’s not being met, we will feel the very same torment and restlessness, experienced by the child.
And what of us who’re unable to find this requirement? That, I would suggest, is most of us. There is no satisfying a restless mind that doesn’t understand what it seeks, and so stop your pretense. Instead, own up, to your incompleteness
If patience is a gentle appreciation of potential, perhaps the turmoil will cease, when everything is in place. Perhaps, once the egg has been laid, the waiting is made bearable through the potential that grows within it.
When you sit and meditate, seek the understanding of how it is you, that grows within the egg. What comes to you then, as a result of waiting patiently, is not the brief satisfaction – gained from achieving what it is you believed the requirement was – but the simple stillness of mind gained from acknowledging your limitless potential.
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Thought Aware
Even though we’re unable to stop the thinking process we can raise our awareness to WHAT we’re thinking
When I look around and see happy people who have experienced adversity I think to myself, how do they do that? And the answer that has returned in the past has been that they must be capable of not thinking. This is of course impossible, so the sensible answer is, these people must be in control of what they’re thinking. And so the next question that comes to mind is, how are they in control of their thoughts?
It’s true to say, we are what we think we are, and, therefore, we are our thoughts
Only this morning I heard the comment: ‘Wow! It’s nearly June already!’ and my response was to say: ‘Yes and hasn’t it been a long winter,’ both a bit negative when you think of it. And so, in order to countermand these words, my next comment was . . . ‘And I’m looking forward to a lovely long summer.’
When we consider that words are always preceded by thought – if sometimes by only a fraction of a second – we can know, that through gaining an increased awareness of our thoughts, we can alter our lives in extraordinary ways. If our tendency is to be a little negative sometimes, we must raise our awareness to our predominant thoughts, or be damned by our own minds.
Mindfulness practice concerns raising our awareness to the nature of our thoughts
The constant internal chatter of our minds often continues just beneath our full awareness. When we sit during meditation, we become increasingly aware, of how intrusive our thoughts can be on our point of focus. In this manner we become acutely aware of what we’re thinking from moment to moment. And it is this that has the effect of raising our general awareness to the nature of our thoughts.
Simple really is powerful. The main problem is, we’re so often told to look for complicated solutions to, what can seem, complicated issues
Because mindfulness practice is simple it can be overlooked or undervalued. To some extent we can pin this undervaluation on the western beliefs that if something cost’s nothing, or very little, it can’t be any good. Buddhists and other meditators seem willing to give their knowledge away for free, however, if you look long enough, you’ll see that the information given is far from free. Time and attention given to any subject automatically awards it great value. And think about that: Time and Attention given to any subject gives it great value.
The one precious recourse we must give ourselves and our mindfulness practice is time
Yes, it takes a few minutes of focused attention every day to raise awareness to our thoughts, and yet when we truly understand the power our thinking holds over our lives, we will willingly give this time to ourselves. Take notice of the simplest solutions, they are the ones with all the power.
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Remove the cancer of negativity
Think about dreams. Think about their symbolic nature. More than symbolic, we could even go as far as saying our dreams, are metaphorical
Dreams are the language of the unconscious. Taking this one step further, what other methods of communication does the unconscious utilise? Our unintentional, or unconscious behaviour, is of course a form of communication to others. So what about the unconscious communication our mind uses, along with dreams, to speak directly to our consciousness? It’s important to consider the symbolic, metaphorical nature, of unconscious communication.
Gilbert Ryle condescendingly referred to René Descartes‘ concept of mind-body dualism as: “The Ghost In The Machine.” It’s also certainly clear to me, no duality exists between body and mind, hence the term ‘bodymind’ found elsewhere, in this blog. As such, when we look closely at this inseparable and complex link, we can safely say, the unconscious communicates in any way it possibly can.
When we see dis-ease as a clear communication from the bodymind, we’re on the right track to taking full control, of our lives. What do you imagine – with everything said so far – is the bodymind looking to communicate, through the dis-ease of cancer? What metaphorical meaning can we attribute to a cell that won’t die; a cell that refuses to stop replicating itself? Can we consider this cells refusal to die, a metaphor, for not letting go? You bet we can.
It’s important we understand the necessity in letting go of negativity. Repetitive, negative thoughts and memories, are the product of a mind that refuses to let go. We must understand the message our bodymind sends us. Cancer is a clear message: Let go of the negatives from the past
Some might say forgiveness is the tool needed for this letting go. I say forget forgiveness, we now have better tools, at our disposal. When we truly let go of the past, forgiveness becomes irrelevant. When we’re able to fully and completely move on, through dropping the past – as you’d drop a piece of rotten wood – we free ourselves of a negative future. That’s right, I repeat: We free ourselves of a negative future.
New Growth once we remove the cancer of negativity I can teach you how to use tools that utterly dispose of the self-destructive negatives from your past. Learn more here.
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The Restless Horses
It has everything to do with awareness of mind
We might think it’s a secret, or what only the few seem to possess, yet there really is something so simple, and so beautiful, about being aware of your state of mind. It’s the difference that makes the difference.
When we can answer these next questions we start to understand: From moment to moment what am I thinking? What is my mind seeking?
When meditating, I sense the thoughts within my mind, as being similar, to a paddock full of wild horses. These horses are noisy and restless. They’re stirring up the dust; it’s arid within the confines of the paddock. They want to escape to an imagined lush green land. They want the satisfaction this would bring. They’re sweating and the whites of their eyes are showing. Their ears are back; focusing only on their fear and agitation. They long to escape.
The similarity is this restless craving to satisfy their need. My mind craves the escape of thought. It wants to escape its confines
When the mind is constantly stimulated and engaged it’s happily satisfying its addiction. Like the alcoholic taking the drink, or the sugar addict biting into the chocolate bar – satisfied and happy – if just for a moment. The nature of thought is no different. It becomes addicted to movement, thoughts, and stimulation. If never slowed and calmed it remains as the restless horses. The restless horses have become fearful of their confinement.
The paradox is, our minds, even though busy and stimulated, are no less restricted. As with any addiction, it serves to distract us, from the real issue
Think of overeating. When we’re eating we’re happily enjoying the pleasure of satisfying a need. We do this to excess, when the pleasure we gain from eating, has become greater than our conscious awareness. When we’re overeating, or eating the wrong things, we’ve lost conscious control. We’re simply indulging in the pleasure and distraction we gain; we’re mindlessly bolting from the paddock to get at the lush green grass. Feelings of hunger have negative associations to food addicts. They’re blindly satisfying a need with no thought as to why.
Medicine for your mind
Firstly we must imagine that we’ve employed the services of a horse whisperer. We invite him into the paddock and watch, mesmerised as he calms the neighing, crazed wild horses. Once calmed, something magical happens. The horse whisperer is able to open the gate and gently lead the horses out. Once there they’re able to eat from the lush pasture all around. There’s no rush, there’s no wildness in their eyes, anymore. Their ears are forward and with a gentle swish of the tail they stop to stare. Once calm, there’s more for all of us to see, and explore.
Consider for a moment what the horse whisperer has achieved
How did he calm them? He calmed them by making them aware. He took the wild panic away through showing them what it was to be calm. He moved slowly and gently amongst them. He lay a calming hand on their manes. He showed them how safe it was inside the paddock. Once they understood, there was no rush to escape; no panic, fuelled by one another. He calmed the horses sufficiently for them to become aware.
Slow now, be aware of the nature, of your mind
Notice how it craves to escape. Notice. Where is it seeking to escape to? Away from itself perhaps? Away into thoughts of the past, future or fantasy? How is it we imagine these thoughts are richer than now? Is the alcoholic seeking to escape from himself? Is the food addict doing the same? Our minds have learnt to crave this wild escape; this escape from ourselves. We’ve become addicted to how it feels.
Why are meditators happier? They’re happier because they’ve regained awareness of themselves in the present moment. Imagine how it would feel to calmly explore the lush green, present-moment-pastures, the craving for mindlessness is keeping us from. Calm and still our minds will be satisfied.
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Advanced Meditation (overcome vulnerability)
We are all alone because it is impossible for any other person to be part of our mind, body or soul. No-one will ever share the same thoughts, feelings or belief systems in exactly the same way as another, this, is to be alone – Create Beautiful Partnerships
If we’re uncomfortable when alone then there will be great benefit to meditating on the statement above. This kind of meditation is not for the faint hearted as it can be extremely painful to realise just how alone – in respect of the statement – we all are. The statement is a truism and no amount of argument can alter this.
If we’re in company, then we are not physically alone, and therefore, we may not feel lonely. However, many of us can relate to feeling lonely, even when in the company of others. This can be due to being amongst people we have no affinity with, but, there is a simple understanding that can help.
Furthermore if we have no acceptance and no understanding of the differences between aloneness, oneness and loneliness we can be vulnerable. Vulnerable, lonely people, are often taken advantage of.
In order to gain the courage to actually be alone, without feeling fearful, we must break through a pain barrier. This barrier is the pain of realisation. Once again the words of Kahlil Gabran come to mind: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”
When we truly accept and understand our aloneness we will see that loneliness is the product of being lonely from the self
Something you may find a comfort, whilst meditating, is to foster the curiosity of how many other individuals there might currently be, seeking, the emptiness of meditation. Imagine these people sitting beside you. Experience an emptiness of mind and then ask yourself how many other meditators are currently experiencing similar sensations during these moments. The comfort we gain comes from the realisation of our oneness. We may be alone and yet at root we are all the same in our aloneness. Ponder and have courage.
Before advancing, to this type of meditation, workshop attendance is highly recommended
We must have a beautiful partnership with ourselves before we can ever dream of one with another. Learning how to enjoy solitude is essential in determining who we attract into our lives. The ability to spend time with only your thoughts for company, costs nothing, and the benefits are priceless – Create Beautiful Partnerships
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A Root to Better Things
Mindfulness:
- the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something
- a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations; used as a therapeutic technique
We know the definition, so how do we achieve it, and why is it important?
Mindfulness is achieved through the practice of meditation. When we take time out to sit and become conscious of our thoughts, and make a habit of doing this, we become increasingly aware. We become aware of their nature. The calm acknowledgement of our thoughts involves the process of thinking about how we think. In other words, during meditation, our mindfulness is the process of self-analysis. What exactly are we thinking about? Are there images that accompany these thoughts? How do they make me feel? Are they about the past, future or are they idle ramblings, with no obvious connections?
In terms of beginning to train the mind into becoming increasingly quiet and present, this kind of analysis, is very powerful
The more present we are the quieter the mind. When we think of it, when the mind is exactly in the now moment, it will be silent and still. This is for the simple reason, that in the present moment now, there is actually nothing happening except the mindfulness of life itself.
When thinking about the past, we are, on one level, attempting to relive it. We might even be trying to change how we feel about the past. Alternatively, it’s thoughts about future intentions, that make things happen, just before they do. Once we have no thoughts of this nature, the mind is quiet, still and resting. In time this is a very pleasant and comfortable place to be.
Initially the mind will be uncomfortable with such a stasis. We’ve become extremely used and conditioned to having very busy minds. We’re always running to the next thing. In this respect many habits can be tricky to break.
The action of thinking, analysing, plotting and planning has become habitual. We’re driven by our wants and needs and constantly processing such things. So, in order to become mindful, we begin by encouraging the mind to focus on only two or three things. We seek to exclude everything else; sidelining our needs and wants. We seek to break a habit.
We must always be accepting
As we identify the nature of our thoughts, they gently fade away, to be replaced with the awareness of what’s happening exactly now. This might include awareness of our breathing, the temperature in the room, and any sounds we can hear. It can take years to reach a point where our focus is only on one thing and the gaps between thoughts extended. True rest and awareness of now.
Practice of this encourages the mind to be present the majority of the time
Consider pondering on the observation I made earlier: in the now moment there is actually nothing happening except the mindfulness of life itself. The more we think of this the more interesting it becomes. Consider how, when sitting meditating, everything for you has stopped, whereas the rest of the world, carries on. The art of meditation is the art of stopping.
The world is still spinning and indeed travelling through the galaxy at thousands of miles an hour. People everywhere are getting on with their day. Just how aware are these other people? How much time are they taking to be aware and mindful of what’s going on around them?
Are others as aware of you, as you are of them, right now?
Not so long ago I noticed meditation and mindfulness described as a very self-centered and self-indulgent activity. This negative was meant to be discouraging. In reality, both meditation and the mindfulness it produces, are quite the opposite.
“Under the influence of awareness, you become more attentive, understanding, and loving, and your presence not only nourishes you and makes you lovelier, it enhances them as well” – Thich Nhat Hanh
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A Return to Simpler Times
At one end of the scale we can think about the old expression: “to treat with kid gloves” as we look at the difficulties parents are facing. When parents seek to lay down any kind of rules, guidelines or boundaries for their children, they can struggle with how to do this without the accusations of being restrictive, or inconsiderate of special needs. And so, is it far better to be somewhere in the middle of the scale? Here, we can show a child proper boundaries; they’ll love you all the more for it.
When reading the news and views of ordinary people I gain a sense of how complicated everything seems to have got. The conversations range from the complex diagnostics of mental conditions to the vast array of shared opinions – we all have something to get off our chest. These few words included.
I make no apologies for my feelings and beliefs about coming from simpler times
When I think about my childhood, and in particular the classroom, every single child was different with their own personal struggles. It was called growing pains. Every child had special needs and yet it was grouped together and termed childhood. At every stage of our lives we will face difficulties and challenges. Without simple rules, boundaries and guidelines to help us, we can get lost in our confusion.
This is not to say that by returning to simpler principles we should include the brutality of the past
One simple question we must constantly ask ourselves is this: Is the balance between love and fear proportionate? In this respect, we must never make the mistake of assuming that complicated diagnostics – for the condition of childhood – are based on love. There is a strong likelihood they’re based on the opposite.
For the need of intellectuals to prove their worth, can it be a fear based thing, or is it simply the willfulness and one upmanship of their competitive nature?
Try and hold a conversation with anyone and notice the constant to-and-fro of power. You’ll say one thing, only for this, in the next breath of conversation, to be bettered or dismissed. As I’ve aged I’ve become quieter, not because I have nothing to say, but because I now see the pointlessness of opinion. I’m also very tired of frightened, competitive, men.
In this respect I’ve notice the ‘warriors’ locking up their women, fearing their love will weaken them. It is this fear that causes them to need possession and ownership. When this is your need, you must fight as a warrior, and die early losing the only thing you’ve ever truly owned. To fear love is to be locked into this vicious cycle of madness. Can we return to simpler principles without the brutality of the past?
Consider simplifying your life – consider mindfulness.
Workshop details
Practising Mindfulness 