Practising Mindfulness

Category: Mental health

  • What to Believe to Make the Change

    My curiosity constantly draws me into seeking to understand what drives people. I’m curious as to what it takes to make a person want to live well. Why should we search for peace? Why should we question our addictions? Why should we care?

    I feel the answer to these questions lies entirely in the level of compassion that’s been instilled in us from a very early age. Self-compassion, or compassion for the wellbeing of others, I believe is something that starts very early. It’s those parents who buy their child a rabbit, with the intention of helping that child build love and compassion for other beings, who raise a human that’s likely to care. The caring and taking responsibility for another being, from an early age, helps the child understand the two way nature of the relationship. Pleasure is awarded the child whose rabbit is healthy because they’ve taken proper care of it. Also, when the rabbit eventually dies, the child learns from their suffering. They learn that happiness and suffering go hand in hand.

    There must be sufficient reward for caring. There must always be something in it for us and we must never be ashamed to know and admit this. Our survival is paramount and we must be taught that when we make our survival the priority, we inadvertently lift everyone else

    Consider the late spiritual leader Thích Nhất Hạnh. Many have described his greatest achievement as the communities he created; the Sangha. We must ask what was his motivation? The first driver will have been his belief. His faith. He believed in Buddhism with every fiber of his being. He also believed he had the medicine to help people out of their suffering; that Buddhism had some of the solutions to humanities plight. The second driving will have been his compassion. He wanted all of us to better deal with our suffering, through living lives, that had more of an acceptance of how – according to Buddhist understandings – we generate our suffering. The third, and by no means last motivation, will have concerned the pleasure he received as a result of helping others prosper.

    The communities he created are currently hard at work looking to spread the word. They’re looking to spread the word of mindfulness and the importance of love and compassion in the world. It’s my understanding, that the current they will always be swimming against, is that of the conflicting beliefs our children are still being taught.

    We must understand that the rewards we receive concern the easing of our own suffering. The child must be taught to understand, how it’s the process of helping other beings prosper, that in turn creates their own prosperity

    It starts with: What do I want? Thích Nhất Hạnh saw the image of a Buddha as a child and decided: “That’s what I want to be” it started with what he wanted and the comfort that there will be some benefit to him. His compassion for other beings then drove him to want this for others too. His communities were his masterpiece and what piece of mind this must have offered him.

    If you want piece of mind, if you’ve finally had enough of our destructive patterns of living, ask yourself what you believe is the best way to live well. To give or to take? I would suggest neither. I would suggest that through reaching for the child within, who wanted the rabbit to thrive, we get closer to finding the truth. We are neither giving or taking, just simply being compassionately and mindfully there for another being, and in turn it will be there for us. Make your driving a deep desire to help others prosper and make the miracle happen.

  • Reduce the Suffering of Others

    I no longer have anything to prove or reason to compete. I’d also like to cease any need to feel validated or approved of. Achieving these things requires mindfulness and once achieved bring peace of mind

    I’ve wondered what’s left when we take away competitiveness, approval and validation. I realise that in order to move forward and engage with life, as the teachers we all are, what remains, indeed must remain, is the simple desire to reduce the suffering of others. Why should we desire this? Because it reduces our own suffering.

    We can all help reduce the suffering we and others experience, through being mindful of our thoughts, speech and actions. These things are interconnected

    I feel we must have the ability to question our beliefs, so we may alter our views, as this enables us to ‘clean up’ our thinking; thinking that is the result of how we were conditioned. Once we’re able to clear the view we’re then able to ensure our thoughts are of a wholesome nature. When our thoughts are wholesome this is reflected in the things we say and do. As a consequence of improving these things, through mindfulness, we instantly reduce all suffering.

    It’s interesting to consider how life would be if more of us gained the awareness of unhealthy competitiveness and how we remain childlike in our need for validation and approval. By casting these things aside, we clear a path for different motivations, of a more wholesome nature. We experience more love and become more compassionate toward our fellow man, our home, our true home (our selves) and all living beings.

    Mindfulness is key. Consider today, how raising your awareness, can improve your quality of life.

  • More Love – A Healthy Requirement

    The ego wants to win because it’s being at the top that’s important. Wise men have told us to control our ego

    Control, through an awareness of the influence of ego, is essential if we’re to gain a true and lasting sense of happiness. The ego isn’t concerned with happiness but only with winning. And as we are often shown even the winners aren’t necessarily happy. The egotistical are often the most troubled of us all. And we mustn’t mistake the desires of the ego with the requirement for more love.

    When we have a clear understanding of what love achieves for us, and what the ego is seeking to achieve, we find our true sense of happiness

    I’ve often found myself confused as to what I’m looking for. I wonder: is this love or my ego? I’m cautious because I’m very aware of the dangers and limitations of my ego driven desires. A competitive nature is all well and good, yet the way to avoid the games and hurt our competitive nature can evoke is, to be able to separate love and ego.

    Love is the listener, love is the kind carer. Ego is the warlord and ego is the player

    So we must focus our attention on the healthy requirement of more love. What must we do to gain this? We must teach it. We must share it. And we must give freely of it. Love gives freely of itself, this is why it endures.

  • Aware Now

    As a result of learning and practicing meditation, we’re able to cease the constant movement of the mind into the past, future, or fantasy.

    In time, we can take control of unnecessary, fretful thoughts that only add to our fears. If we become anxious and fearful over the things that, ultimately, we have no control over, we damage the quality of our lives. Improved mental fitness enables us to gain proportion and understanding that the only things necessary to gain control of are ourselves and our thinking.

    Only recently I began to worry about the way in which certain people were behaving. Then, I reminded myself that it’s not my responsibility to fight other peoples battles. I do feel a sense of responsibility in sharing information that may assist someone, and that is where it must end. We never actually empower an adult through taking over their battles, we may need to do this for a child, or for someone who is severely disabled, and empowerment is when we help individuals through providing tools and information.

    When it comes to mental fitness, we must be prepared to work the muscle that is our brain

    If all the lifting and carrying is done by someone else, we’ll never find the strength for ourselves. Strength comes when we practice. For example, when I find myself pulled into the abuse others experience, I bring my mind back into the present through using the words: ‘Aware Now.’ I’ve anchored the present-moment-feeling, I experience during meditation, to these words. An exercise conducted during Mindfulness Training

    Be empowered, Learn to Meditate

  • The Search

    The search for fulfillment of our beliefs is a constant process. If you believe you are guilty, for example, during meditation, your mind will seek to find examples of this belief. During therapy this would be encouraged, during meditation, we must recognise the searching nature of mind, and give ourselves clear, exact instructions. We say: ‘Search for an awareness of my breathing’

  • Mindful Resilience

    Resilience is helped by optimistic, forward thinking, and our mindful awareness

    Consciousness brings with it the awareness of the often harrowing aspects of life on earth. In contrast to this, I woke this morning, thinking about how a new day was another golden opportunity to eat cake. Even if I don’t eat cake today, just thinking about it can be enough. And it’s this kind of humour and simplistic attitude to life that can get us through.

    In order to relay this to you, I must, of course, be aware of my thoughts

    Whilst meditating this morning, my mind drifted to uncomfortable thoughts. The thoughts weren’t even about an experience I’d had but concerned those of someone else. Even so, I felt sad and troubled by them, and this goes to show just how powerful our thoughts can be. It’s the awareness of this that’s important, as it awards us the understanding of how we’re able to make improvements to our lives, simply through how we think.

    Remembering the past is important as it gives us the opportunity to understand ourselves

    We are the sum total of our beliefs. Our beliefs are formed from everything felt, seen, heard, and experienced by us during our lives. In particular, our early life. And it doesn’t take much to realise that not all of them are going to be useful and beneficial. As such, reviewing the past, to understand how our beliefs were formed and how they continue to influence us, holds great power. This remembering and evaluating enables us to question and change ourselves into who we want to be. We can develop beyond our beliefs and how they’ve previously led us. We can also develop greater acceptance and love of who we are.

    Bringing the mind predominantly back into the present assists us in our resilience

    It’s how we cope, isn’t it? Getting on with living, with our minds engaged in the system, is what it’s all about. The pleasures and the pains of life are its very purpose. The purpose of life is life itself, so let’s get on with it, constantly reminding ourselves of how to be mindfully resilient, enjoying the occasional slice of cake.

  • Perseverance

    Whatever it is you want, regardless of knock-backs, difficulties, or circumstances, perseverance is the quality always required in order to succeed

    We might ask the deeper question: What is required for us to have perseverance? Is this a quality some just naturally have, or is it something acquired? I feel there is a certain recipe that will help us here.

    Firstly, we must have passion. We must want the desired outcome passionately. Secondly, we must be able to keep the mind present and focused on the desired outcome. Dwelling on past failures is the fire, which turns perseverance to ashes.

    It really is a matter of ensuring our improvement isn’t hampered with thoughts of past performance. Be it a frame of snooker, a game of tennis, or gaining a qualification, dwelling on the last frame, game, or test will distract from the mater in hand: Winning.

    We humans love to win. We know that in order to win, we must be better than all the rest. Yes, we need natural talent. Nevertheless, no matter how much natural talent we possess, believing we can simply win without perseverance and practice leads to disappointment.

    We have to continually put the past where it belongs and keep going, on and on, regardless of how we might feel or whatever circumstances we might be facing. This is perseverance.

    Unless dealt with, limiting aspects of the past can be an echo that never fades

    Recognizing how the past can unconsciously influence the present is most certainly a skill we can learn. Briefly examining limiting behaviour is key. We must ask: How do I continue to replicate mistakes of the past?

    As odd as it might sound, understanding how we failed at our goals in the past can help us to eliminate unconscious limitations in the now.

    The unconscious mind will persevere in whatever direction it is focused. We must ensure it is correctly focused. Our beliefs come into play here, and perseverance is required if we’re to question and change them. Once the past is dealt with, limiting beliefs removed and unfinished business concluded, we’re better able to direct the energy of our perseverance with the correct focus: Upward and onward.

  • Stimulation

    The need for stimulation is fine and creating the need for it’s opposite is also fine

    Think of a child constantly seeking stimulation. When a child is stimulated, it’s often because a parent, carer, or teacher is attentive to them. They’re being entertained, educated, and played with.

    When the child is stimulated in this way, the result is happiness, excitement, and growth. Ultimately, and for obvious reasons, we can become totally addicted to this.

    On a personal level, the later part of my childhood was filled with the kind of stimulation fear brings: chaos

    Interestingly enough, I feel that as a result of this chaos, my mind often craved calm. The only problem with calm is its seeming lack of stimulus.

    Children who’re unfamiliar with calm, only knowing chaos, become very accustomed to the need for stimulation. We can end up conflicted, wondering about the exhaustion we often feel and why we can’t seem to turn off our need for constant stimulus.

    Wanting is driven by our addiction and craving for stimulation

    It harks back to childhood and the way in which we were stimulated then. The positive of this was experienced by lucky children who were encouraged to find stimulation through creativeness. We can easily recognise those individuals, especially those who continue to be creative all their lives.

    Caution is advised, though, because craving the kind of stimulation creativeness brings does engender a degree of danger. However, the survivors of this danger are those who’re able to find balance and a calmness of mind in between their creativeness. Sting would be a fine example.

    And so we can experience happiness, growth, and contentment if we have a healthy balance between our need for stimulation and our need for calm.

    Learning to meditate, in order to find improved mindfulness, is the easiest way to begin finding this kind of balance. The alternative could well be a lifetime seeking to understand the conflict caused by our addiction.

  • When We Finally Meet Our Alien-Selves

    How are we to recognise what we’ve never experienced? How are we to love the stranger we do not know

    Are we all searching or waiting for something? Some inspiration, reward, or experience? During this search, is it possible to experience a feeling or state of mind that is so unfamiliar to us that we pass it off as alien and so reject it?

    We might mistake calm, for example, as sleepiness and then drink copious amounts of coffee to wake us up. We might mistake contentedness as lacklustre and world weariness. We might mistake contentedness as having given up.

    Most of us are constantly seeking to change how we feel

    It’s fascinating when we think of it. What an earth is going on that we should feel the need to be in a different state to the one we naturally find ourselves? How is it we can’t simply be as we find? And it runs into so many aspects of our lives, doesn’t it?

    My mind instantly jumps into thinking about young girls and how they feel the need to change or enhance their physical appearance. Obviously, on some level, they believe their natural-selves to be lacking, or they feel the need to compete and establish stronger identities than their peers; to be larger than life; to be more than what they appear to be. To deceive the observer.

    Just as an ignorant child wants to put his finger in the flame, our fascination with our emotional selves drives unnecessary provocation

    It’s certain that if more time were spent explaining emotions, their purpose, and how to manage them, they’d be less need to put fingers to flame. Just as the moth is drawn to the flame, we also lose our way through ignorance and confusion.

    When we experience the unfamiliar, we must pause and immerse ourselves instead of instantly rejecting it and seeking to change

    When the young girl, who lacks self-awareness, looks in the mirror, she imagines herself with bigger lips and different eyebrows.

    When those who’re unfamiliar with calm and contentment feel this alien emotion, they instantly imagine themselves stimulated doing or being somewhere else. Instead, when we finally meet our alien-selves, it’s useful to pause and give them a chance to explain. When we see them in the mirror, pause and see the beauty that’s already there.

  • From Gamma to Theta (Meditation & Hypnosis)

    You might wonder if there is any value in understanding the difference between brain wave frequencies. Of course, there is value in knowing this. Knowledge awards us power! Understanding that brain waves are something we can assert control over is power within itself.

    Greater Control Over Your Mind Equals Improved Control Over Your Life

    Waves and their frequencies are measured in Hertz (Hz), and our brains (on average) have wave frequencies of between 0.5 Hz and 100 Hz. It follows a useful logic that the slower the frequency, the more relaxed we are. From lowest to highest frequencies, they are ordered in this way:

    • Delta Waves – Occur during sleep
    • Theta Waves – Occur during deep trance
    • Alpha Waves – Occur in light trance
    • Beta Waves – Occur whilst awake
    • Gamma Waves – Occur during meditation and higher cognitive reasoning

    So, Gamma, the highest wave frequency, is associated with higher cognitive function and has been found during meditation. This, in itself, is interesting, as it does confirm our findings: 

    • Meditation is of great value if improved logical reasoning, cognitive function, and stress management (awareness and attention focus) are your goals. In fact, present-focused and alert, best describes the mind state meditation can achieve. 

    Alpha and Theta waves are associated with Hypnosis (Alpha, light trance, and Theta, deep). Again, interesting, because it also confirms our findings: 

    • Light to deep levels of Hypnotic Trance (operator or self-induced) are most beneficial for developing creativeness, imagination, relaxation, the effective seating of suggestion/autosuggestion, and easing deeper psychological conflict.

    Finally, Beta is associated with being fully awake and Delta with fast asleep.