Practising Mindfulness

Category: Mindfulness

  • Self-Awareness through Meditation

    The value of self-awareness can’t be overestimated. And nether can the value of meditation as a tool for achieving it

    Aspects of our character we’re uncomfortable with are often projected on to others in the form of criticism. As an adult, I’ve come to realise that my father was very authoritarian in his approach to parenting. As a result of this, I’ve developed a complex around authority and find myself uncomfortable around it or people who have this demeanour. It’s followed me all my life. Once I become aware of this fear, though, I’m much better equipped to deal with the consequences. Authority frightens the child within me, and there are unhealthy consequences.

    One other aspect of this that I’ve recently come to understand is how I have an authoritarian approach to myself. I’m very hard on myself. And it’s always our self who’s our worst critic. It follows that if I’m very critical and judgmental of my self, and not seeing this, I’ll project this on to others.

    We can think of critical judgement of others as our minds attempt to heighten our self-awareness

    Through acknowledging the characteristics we criticise in others and then meditating on where we learnt that very same characteristic, we heighten our self-awareness.

    We might ask: What is the advantage of heightened self-awareness? And my immediate response is that knowing ones self awards us wholeness. Wholeness leads to improved control over the mind and our general well-being.

    The unhealthy consequences of unrecognized fear, for me, is the coping mechanism of eating unhealthy food. Knowing that fear and embracing it helps me to heal the inner child. Not through an authoritarian “pull yourself together” but through love.

    “I hold my face between my hands,

    No I’m not crying,

    I hold my face between my hands to keep my loneliness warm,

    Two hands protecting,

    Two hands nourishing,

    Two hands preventing,

    to prevent my soul from leaving me in anger”

    – Thich Nhat Hanh

  • Showing up For Life

    In my previous post I mentioned feeling a little upset

    And that feeling has only gotten worse. Is this another example of me experimenting with my own mind? Or is it that I’m simply beginning to heed/read my own words?

    In this post I spoke about the importance of stopping in order to create the space for a reality of our own making. And now that I have stopped I’m realising to what extent I’ve lost myself again.

    A long time ago now I walked away from a life. It had gotten pretty shit. In the process, I found myself without a TV, books, or any form of entertainment. This went on for many months. I spent a lot of time doing much of what I’ve spent the last few years writing about: I became mindful. Through mindfulness, I set about finding myself. I believe I succeeded.

    But lately I’ve become adrift. I’ve become embroiled in modern life once again. I’ve become addicted to constant stimulation. And now that I’ve reached the point that I have in my writing (and heeding my words), I see the mess I’ve gotten myself in.

    So I walked mindfully again this morning. This is what I noticed:

    • A Heron in the creek fishing for his breakfast at the waters edge
    • The morning light behind the warm duvet of grey cloud
    • Members of the rowing club in their boats out on the mouth of the river, resting before the slog home
    • A small red and white fishing boat making its chugging return
    • The cruciform metal struts reinforcing a bridge I walked beneath
    • The emptying trees and fluttering leaves
    • My loneliness

    Is it the case that so many of us are waiting for an invitation for our lives to begin? The thing is, there will be no invitation. It’s up to us to crash the party. And the host of the party might well be someone you’ve been trying to avoid.

    In the post linked to, I advised caution. I did this because as a result of stopping the constant stimulation of books, TV, videos, social media, et cetera, et cetera, a change will happen. In mindful awareness, you will find yourself in the absolute present moment. And in this moment, all might seem very different, to the delusion you’ve been kidding yourself, was something real.

    What will you do now? Will you escape back into the oblivion of constant stimulation that takes you away from yourself? Or will you continue to find your true self within a reality devoid of delusion?

  • Slow Up or You’ll Miss the Show (Show Up for Life!)

    I noticed how the pace of my walking sped up when my mind strayed into thinking about my destination

    It follows through everything; if your mind isn’t in the moment – thinking about what’s next and where you’re planning to be – you will miss more than you realise.

    During my walk this morning it was only during the moments when I was present that I noticed all the colours in the trees

    I noticed how calm the river was. I noticed the colour of the water and how brown it was due to the storm in the night. I noticed the nature of the morning light and how many leaves had now fallen to the ground. In particular I noticed flocks of birds as they woke from their morning roosts.

    It was when I remembered, to bring my awareness back to my steps and my breath, that I noticed how my walking had quickened during the time my mind had strayed into thinking about what lay ahead

    My aimlessness had ceased and my mind had filled with intention. During this time, I wasn’t walking, I wasn’t breathing, I’d become blind! In other words, because my awareness wasn’t in the present, I’d begun to miss the show.

    Such a beautiful display that mother nature had put on just for me. How could I be so disrespectful to her by not paying attention?

    Is it the case, that when I’m thinking about the destination, I’m speeding through the rest of my life? Have I wasted most of my life in this way? It upsets me to think that I probably have. Let’s keep remembering and show up for the show.

  • Creating the Space for Reality

    Through stopping we create space and allow a different reality in

    Caution is advised.

    To stop the constant stimulation; the constant need to have some form of distraction, is to open up the space in our awareness, to see a different reality.

    There are times when the reality created for us, by certain aspects of the media and majority-thinking, can overwhelm. And we begin to think in ways that are filtered through victim-mentality and negativity in general.

    The human mind is at its best when being creative. Innovative ideas that help humanity become the masters of their environment only come about as the result of a certain type of thinking

    Creative thinking is one thing. Filling the mind with the distraction of television, books, games, films, or whatever, is an entirely different thing. It’s a form of stimulation that takes us away from our self; our own minds. We’re taken away from our conscious critical thinking.

    For example, the dormant, unconscious seeds of anger, and aggressive responses can be roused through watching violent films

    We might believe that we need this. There is nothing wrong with entertaining the mind in this way. However, if we never stop to give the mind space, we continue to delude ourselves. We continue to delude ourselves into believing the reality created for us is real.

    Through losing the need for constant stimulation and developing mindfulness, we create space. This space enables us to create our own reality, not the reality designed by others

    At first, when we stop and contemplate life, it can be a shock to the system. Realise that the distractions of the media, or that of films, books, socializing, games, etc., are the distractions of illusions.

    Our perceptions are clouded through what we distract ourselves with. Our interactions with others are filtered in a way that is biased to how the majority are being taught to perceive life.

    We might filter things in such a way that we become victims. We can fail to see how we may have created an aggressive or negative response from others

    As the saying goes: ‘there are always two sides to a coin.’ Through mindfulness, we’re better able to start seeing things through the eyes of others. We can build our compassion and empathy toward others. In this way, we help ourselves to see; it is our perception that is at fault. We begin to take responsibility.

    With constant stimulation and failure to make time to stop, we will never see the reality. The reality is that we are not victims but the perpetrators of our own suffering. With mindfulness, you can begin to create a balanced and more meaningful existence. Something created by you.

  • Quietly Observing War of the Forgetful

    It’s interesting how when I have cool-control over my mind, calmly observing the behaviour of the people around me, without judgement and emotion, I’m able to distance myself from its harm

    My mind is calm and quiet. I see the disrespectful son, insulting his father with no clear idea of how protected and shielded he is from the world through nepotism. If his father were to retire unexpectedly or become incapacitated in some way, the son would have a very rude awakening. He’s unaware of the true nature needed, and of what qualities it takes, to run a successful company.

    You see, I work for a company where the son, works for the father. A common thing and sometimes the dynamic can be difficult. If we were able to take each of them to one side it would be fairly easy to teach them how to better get along, before some calamity strikes. I feel it’s inevitable that things will reach a climax, and when they do, I’ll potentially be out of a job. At least for a while. So be it. Que sera, sera . . .

    Both father and son are players. In a way it doesn’t really matter. It’s only a small war of words and emotions. Something humans seem to thrive on, unless you’re a practitioner of meditation, and mindfulness that is. Then you thrive on something very different

    As someone engaged with the study of mind you’re able to defend yourself against any unnecessary, painful, war of words and emotions

    I’m aware of how father, son and colleagues, are attempting to play me. I often imagine myself as a spiting cobra, raised up, silently assessing the threat, ready to strike. I could, if I chose, spit the venom of well chosen words. Instead, knowing I have a dangerous bite, I silently observe the game-play and remind myself of how this war is the war of the forgetful. I choose not to engage with it, the war rages on without me. A practitioner of mindfulness has no need for such things. The practitioner of mindfulness has love on their side.

  • Know Meditation Know Mindfulness

    This week, I slipped. That’s right, I slipped into an old pattern of feeling negative, stressed, and eating junk. And the only reason for it was forgetting the importance of Meditation

    Monday and Tuesday felt like great days. I felt calm and contented. I ate exactly the amount of food that was right for my body and activity. The energy in energy out balance was in tune. I felt great. The rest of the week gradually went to shit and the reason? I forgot to Meditate on each of the subsequent mornings.

    My usual routine is to do some stretches (yes, I’ve succumbed and learnt some yoga), and then I sit for around twenty minutes to meditate and calm my mind. When I do this, the day is always improved, my mood is better, and of course, it’s conducted Mindfully.

    When my day is conducted mindfully – that is to say I’m predominantly in the present moment and aware – it always runs smoother. The quality of my work is on form, and the customers I meet feel better for the experience

    I’ve come to realise that as I reflect on the week, it was the days I didn’t meditate that were markedly different. I felt harassed by my boss and my customers’ demands. Their demands hadn’t changed it was my mood and attitude that had. In an attempt to change my mood, I craved and ate sugar. And after eating pastry and chocolate, I actually ended up feeling worse! Guilt stepped in!

    Each day, my stress and problems grew worse. It was as if my forgetfulness (opposite of Mindfulness) was some kind of sick experiment on myself to see how shit I could make my week. To make matters worse, I didn’t go for my daily walk. What the hell!?

    The positive from this is how I’m reminded of the importance of sticking to my routine. For me, routine is very important

    Every negative has its opposite. I’m now renewed in my endeavour to be an enthusiastic exponent of Meditation that leads to Improved Mindfulness. I’m reminded of how important it is to Meditate every day. If we want to strengthen our minds and improve the quality of our lives, we must practise. We must practise Mindfulness to stay on the path. It is easy to forget its power.

    Remember, the mind is predisposed to lead you along the path of least resistance. Old established patterns that conserve energy are easily fallen into.

    The mind easily falls into old patterns of thinking and behaviour. And like cart wheels that are stuck in a rut, we must, from time to time, use that little extra effort to pull the mind free.

    We have to focus and concentrate. This strengthens the mind. And just as a weightlifter might occasionally feel tired and disinclined to work out, he must persist. The results speak for themselves.

  • Mindful of Mind

    Be mindful of your mind and become aware of how you create the reality you’re living

    Your reality is determined by your thoughts and drivings. The filters to life are your beliefs. If, for example, I choose to put a backpack on and simply walk the earth, how would my life be?

    Life would initially become very frightening and insecure for me. I would experience hardship and hunger. We all have the capacity to survive extreme hardship. As such, in time, my life would open up into something extraordinary.

    No telly, no media, no influence other than the world of nature I see around me. Without the influences of society, how would things change? Without a ‘normal’ life, doing everything I believed I needed to do in order to fit in, there would be a massive shift. If I stuck with it for long enough, my fear would fade. I would be as free as a tramp.

    My beliefs, no longer fed by ‘normality’, would change. I would need to be cautious. I might be in danger; shunned and perhaps even hated by the rest of society. My freedom would terrify them.

    Most of these changes would happen as a result of the quiet

    Mindfully going about the business of walking the earth, my mind would become calm. My internal dialogue would change. The old dialogue, previously there simply as a means of confirming my old identity, would be fading. Thoughts about where my next meal was coming from and where I would sleep later in the evening would be my overriding concerns.

    My mind would certainly not be filled with opinions and judgements about the activities of other people. I would need to draw no comparisons. My thinking would change.

    Being aware of my thoughts would help me ‘catch’ the old habit of comparing myself to others. I might walk past a large beautiful house, and momentarily, I might start making a comparison. They have everything, and I have nothing. This comparison is easily quashed when I become aware: It is me that has freed myself. The house, the status; all there as a prize for the owners success in life. What success? Is success the ‘trappings’ of life? Or is success the discovery of ones self? Ones mind?

    Is success measured by our ability to conform to the ‘norms’ set out by society. It certainly seems this way. What happens when we measure success as non-success? As non-attainment? What happens when we see how success is something built on our need for power over others?

    I can finally see the power in humility. It is, in fact, the humble who has true power. The humble-aware are allowing the rest of us to continue making fools of ourselves in our pursuit of power.

    For a time, we may lose our minds in our need for the illusion of power. We find our true power when we find our self

    Returning home to ones self is achieved through becoming aware. Our true power is realised when we have awareness. Awareness of the consequences of our thoughts. Awareness of cause and effect. Control over the nature of our thoughts. The strength of mind to bring ourselves home.

  • Mindfulness is a Responsibility you Owe to Yourself

    Taking responsibility for the health of your mind is as important as keeping your body clean and feeding yourself a healthy diet

    I woke this morning feeling guilty. I was thinking about all the people I’d harmed in the past. My poor behaviour. How the battles I fought with myself to try and  make sense of life had impacted the people around me.

    I thought about my ex mother-in-law and what she would say to me. She would say: ‘You treated my daughter so badly!’ And I thought about a response based on what I now understand. I would say: ‘That’s right, and have you taken responsibility for your part in that relationship?’ I imagined her indignant response of ‘how dare you! Ridiculous of course, just as that whole episode of my life was. Everybody with their own agendas seeking self-centred ends. Using and abusing. No one is without fault. No one is squeaky clean. We’re all just learning.

    And now there is no guilt. When I realise how everyone needs to take responsibility for their part in any conflict, guilt melts away. Only now is there any chance of resolution.

    Responsibility is such a beautiful word. Through applying it to our lives, we will see the ease with which we can become healthy.

  • Mindful Protection

    Gently bring the mind back into the present moment through focusing on the breath

    On the occasions, when we choose to open our minds to what the media is showing us, it seems like the world has gone mad. Has it ever been any different? Large scale conflicts are only symbolic of the turmoil and conflict our leaders are facing. Warped ideology (from our perspective) anger, fear, the need for control, the ego, et cetera, et cetera. All symptomatic of minds out of control.

    Take control of your mind. Take control of your life

    Self consciousness, self awareness, call it what you will. The greater our awareness of thoughts, and how they dictate the kind of life we live, the better. There are those who thrive on chaos. In fact they long for it because it’s all they know. I can relate to this. For much of my time I rejected all that was good in my life through my minds need to feed its addiction to chaos. Constant stimulation. Constant craving. The constant need to ease my loneliness. A loneliness fed by my need for chaos. Can you see the destructive cycle I was in? This is what so many of us are doing: Seeking to ease our loneliness. In the process, our minds take us unceasingly toward what we refuse to look at: Our fear and loneliness. It is us that’s creating the destructive cycle. It is our minds attempt to understand. Great leaders and philosophers of the past knew this and looked to help humanity in its struggles. Until we break the cycle, how will we ever understand? We cannot read and implement what the great leaders of the past taught us without first becoming aware.

    The solution, countless enlightened individuals have found is, mindfulness

    With practice we can get to the root of what we are. We can find a calmness of mind, underneath the chaos, that reveals pure awareness. When we have this, we’re able to notice all the beauty that surrounds us.

    Personal circumstances matter not. There is suffering, yet our suffering can be eased, when we have clear insight into how it is us that amplifies our self-destructive tendency.

    We could choose anger

    Mindfulness helps us understand, it’s what we choose, that determines the quality of life we experience. No matter your circumstances, through learning how to take control of your mind, you empower yourself to make the right choices. If you want purpose in your life make it the development of mindfulness. Develop a beautiful mind. People with purpose make their own choices. Not those dictated to them by others.

  • Sowing the Seeds

    If you have a plan place Understanding Meditation and Mindfulness at its Heart

    Love is Every Step – Thich Nhat Hanh

    It’s certainly how I intend spending my retirement. Someone recently asked me if I was concerned about the future. Being concerned about the future would be to use the wrong terminology. I would suggest, rather than use the word concern, use the word intension. It has positivity.

    I’m using a degree of tension to stay on track. Think of the tension we must apply to a bowstring before firing the arrow. We must have intension as much as we must have purpose. Those with purpose to life tend to have far fewer addictions (stronger willpower) and healthier minds in general.

    In order, to gently and successfully progress with our planned purpose, awareness is key. Mindful of every step.

    Keep an eye on the future