Practising Mindfulness

Category: Mindfulness

  • Mindful of Your Kind

    Photo by Lisa from Pexels on Pexels.com

    Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see – Mark Twain

    Being mindful of the limitations, and dare I say it, the stupidity of others, is an act of kindness to oneself. As time goes on, the divide can only get bigger. . . this divide between the mindful and the forgetful.

    I think, ultimately, the survival of the species depends on it. There are those who are awake and aware, and there are those who are not. And we must be kind. Because they really do not know what they do. It is, as Mark Twain points out, a question of kindness.

    Mindful people gently get on with their day, spreading a little kindness, where they can

    I believe now that it is the quiet and gentle curiosity of the behaviour of others that will demonstrate how we must be.

    Without judgement, we can pause and reflect on how the majority live. We can then ask: What must I do to live a better life?

    When observing the difficulties others face, we can ask: What could that person do to move forward in their life? How can they move on from their pain?

    How can I use kindness to help this person remember love? How can I help them become aware? And, of course, a genuine kindness can only be offered to others when we’re able to offer it to ourselves.

    By noticing the strength of racism, prejudice, and hatred in society, we can gauge the level of fear

    There are those who believe they are in some way better than others. They believe they are superior. I have been pulled up on highlighting this fact because in the process of this, I’m being hypocritical. I’m making a judgement and forming an opinion. The very thing we should avoid if we want a peaceful life. It’s a struggle to find the right balance with this.

    Do we remain quiet? Do we become indifferent to fear and hatred? Or do we briefly place ourselves above it in order to show people what the real issue is?

    For me, when I simplify humanities’ struggles as being a fight between love and fear, I’m able to allow my own fear to subside gently. What purpose does it serve for me to become emotionally upset at what I see? The emotion drives me to seek answers and understanding. When I have this, my equanimity returns.

  • The Energy of Habits and How to Gain Control

    Our habits are a response. We do have both good and bad habits. And so we want rid of the bad, what must we do?

    Becoming aware is the first step. With meditation, that leads to improved everyday mindfulness, we’re better able to pause before acting on impulse. We might feel hungry and our habit is to quell this hunger with snaking. Instead, mindfulness shows us how to embrace the feeling of hunger, and instead of seeking to instantly dismiss the feeling, we experience it. We see the positive of hunger (we’re gaining a healthy weight). Not only are we better able to manage our weight with mindfulness we’re better able to decide what types of food we put in our system.

    Our habit is to respond to anxiety with consumption. When we choose to feel and work through the anxiety, we’re choosing wholeness. We’re choosing to become more human, and in turn we’re learning to be okay, with every aspect of this. Fear dissipates when we acknowledge it and understand what exactly we’re fearful of. Often our anxiety is triggered by unconscious processes learnt in childhood. We cannot discover these things – and then grow – if we continue with our negative habits.

    Perhaps the habit we have is to have a drink the moment we want to relax. Rather than instantly reaching for that bottle of wine, or whatever, how would it be if we were able to simply stop and breath

    We learn to associate. We condition ourselves to associate feelings with activities. This is especially the case with alcohol. Happy times, we drink to enhance this. Sad times, we drink to ease this. Being without the anchor of booze we’re cut adrift in a world of sharp feelings. Over time we relearn how to gently deal with our human emotions. Our habit can become of mindful considered actions. Actions that consider the wellbeing of ourselves and others.

    Negative habits tend to be the minds way of conserving energy. Very little energy is used in following an established pattern. Generating positive habits initially involves increasing the metal energy we use. Effort will be required. And just as the mind conserves energy following poor habits, in time, it will act on new patterns that have been emplaced by design. The mind will do this for the very same reason it previously followed poor habits.

    Want to stay of the vodka and crisps? Want to feel better and live a longer healthier life? Join the mindfulness revolution.

  • The Power to Choose over the Pervasive Influence of Anxiety

    We can of course get drugs to fix most things (or so we’re led to believe) and are the drugs a long term healthy fix? We may also be led to believe we’re powerless to make the changes we need. We may believe we’re unable to take control

    Intentional or not it is in the drug industries interest that we continue to believe we need their assistance. There is no doubt modern medicines have their place and value. It would certainly never be for me to advise anyone about medication prescribed by professionals. We must remember that those professionals are as reliant on drugs as those they prescribe them to. So rather than this reliance, we can seek to find the answers from within ourselves, and if those answers are beyond any recourses we hold, we must educate ourselves into changing our thinking. How does that sound? Challenging? To love a challenge we must firstly keep an eye on the prize.

    Some, after many years of searching, finally see the true reasons for their difficulties. Those that find the answers can then help us take a shortcut; a rabbit run to our prize. To take advantage of this we must listen and pay attention. We must be mindful

    Always stop and take a moment to consider the root causes. What are our responses to anxiety and fear? So many children are pacified with sweets and food. Children struggle to deal with strong emotions. Parents often struggle to deal with their children’s emotions. Instead of remaining calm and reasoned a parent may instantly seek to ease their child’s unease with sweets and food. In whatever way we seek to ease our children’s upset, we can trace our own experiences back, and see how similar solutions were offered to us. These solutions have grown and mutated over time. We may be copying the behaviour we witnessed as a child. Sometimes we’re not even consciously aware of how we reach for the distraction before experiencing the emotion.

    Instead, we must make offerings of love, and comfort. We then wait for the mind to gain control in its own time. The avoidance of feelings, through the usual unhealthy distractions, only delays the inevitable. They will always surface in some form. If we continue to eat, instead of feeling and working through anxiety, we end up with all the associated diseases that come with obesity

    The root of our anxiety can be simple. A lonely child is standing in the que at the tuck shop because he is afraid. The sweets will act as a distraction and the sugar itself will lift his mood. When we spend time with the child within ourselves, this simple act, can ease our loneliness. As adults when we’re mindful of our habits – through seeing their root – they become less like habits. When we’re aware of the distraction the feelings will surface. We must feel them to be free of them. Will drugs help us with this? Or will our awareness?

  • Feelings and Mindfulness

    If our intention is to gain better control over our behaviour mindfulness is the answer

    Often we react instinctively to our feelings. The feelings or sensations could be anger, pain, hunger or sadness. Lets start with the feeling of hunger. Hunger isn’t generally considered to be a desirable sensation. We want rid of it as quickly as possible. Especially if we’re used to the modern scourge of instant gratification. Needing to be rid of hunger instantly causes us to snack, and snacking is unhealthy. If we want to retain a healthy weight, snacking and the need for instant gratification, is to be avoided.

    Instead of the avoidance of uncomfortable feelings we must welcome them in. When we mindfully acknowledge them they naturally fade. We then have the advantage of not having acted on them

    The same applies to anger, emotional pain, and sadness. Avoidance will always involve some kind of mechanism that results in prolonging our suffering. At the end of a relationship, or any kind of loss, we might experience a whole range of feelings. Pain and sadness are avoided through seeking to replace what we’ve lost instantly. Instead, when we mindfully move through the process of experiencing our emotions, healing occurs. In time our suffering lessons. Avoidance simply defers our suffering. It can manifest in another form

    On to anger. The feeling of anger has power. How we use this power depends very much on our awareness of it’s root. Much of anger is driven by fear and there are times when we must act quickly to defend ourselves when we’re fearful. Even so, the ability to mindfully consider the ramifications of expressing our anger, is easily equal in it’s power. In fact, it could be said, that those who’re able to control their anger, are the ones who have the greatest power. The control of anger involves it’s controlled release. This can take the form of vigorous exercise. Now mindfulness really does have the power to make us well.

  • Mindfully Emotionally Whole

    Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

    Being made aware of what wholeness is and its importance for health and happiness is the first step

    Wholeness, as the word would suggest, is the capacity to embrace all aspects of the self. To become emotionally whole, we must be able to experience and accept the whole spectrum of human emotions in a way that encourages their free movement. Put another way, we must free ourselves from the habit of judging our emotions as being either good or bad. In addition, we must acknowledge the possibility that we have suppressed certain emotions (parts of ourselves) due to past trauma.

    There can be many ways in which we keep our emotional selves buried. It’s very straightforward. We may need to bury ourselves in books of a certain genre, take drugs, only ever listen to uplifting pop music, or obsessively pursue anything that takes the mind out of the present moment

    AI Generated Image

    The exact mechanism used to distract ourselves isn’t that important. What is important is acknowledging that we can be better at accepting all of our emotions as being equally important. Take a moment and consider what your reaction is to the concept of emotional blockages leading to illness in the body.

    For me, this idea has great value. And it really matters, not a jot, whether it remains a concept or becomes accepted fact. If we believe that emotions can become trapped in the body, and release and acceptance of these emotions helps us to feel better in the long term, this is what truly matters. I believe meditation, which leads to improved everyday mindfulness of how we avoid emotional wholeness, is key to our mental and physical well-being.

  • If you’re able to remain focused for forty minutes . . .

  • A Single-Pointed Answer

    The Empty Bowl

    I’ve heard it said that mindfulness is about developing an empty mind. In a way this is correct

    Even though I was a little taken aback by this, I feel it’s far easier and more constructive to not disagree, but to develop the idea. It is in fact impossible for the vast majority of us to empty our minds completely. Practice meditation for sixty years though, and there’s a good chance, you’ll be getting somewhere.

    It’s going to be far more constructive to explain very clearly what in fact we’re looking to achieve through mindfulness. What we’re seeking is a single-pointed awareness of what we’re doing from moment to moment. Be this washing up, mowing the lawn, or walking the dog. During any one of these activities there can be happiness. And this happiness is brought about in the moments when the mind is empty of everything except what we’re doing. When the mind is empty of distracting thought.

    What we must have, in order to consider ourselves mindful (better still, Mindfulness Practitioners), is a single-pointed awareness of the activity we’re currently engaging in. No outside thoughts, feelings or distractions whatsoever. When we have this we will have discovered the secret to happiness.

    That’s right! Happiness is to be aware of the present moment. It’s when our mind is taken from what we’re doing right now that our happiness is destroyed. When our thoughts stray

    These thoughts might be comparisons (if only I had this that or the other) or they might be worries concerning the future. Perhaps your thoughts are persistent or lingering – I would be happy if I did this or achieved that. Whatever the distraction, the answer is not an empty mind, but a mind that is empty of everything except what is happening right now. The answer is an awareness of the nature of your thoughts. The answer is to be mindful (aware) of your mind. To think about your thinking.

    The only way to strengthen the mind, so that a single-pointed awareness is achievable, is through Meditation

    During meditation we study our consciousness. We become aware of our thoughts and feelings and practise putting these things to one side. To do this we must constantly bring the mind back to our point of focus.

    This need only be an awareness of the breath. Awareness of the difference in temperature between the in breath and the out breath is a great way to start. Just twenty minutes per day, at least three times a week, is sufficient. And the better we get, at bringing the mind back to our point of focus, the stronger our mind is becoming.

    So much of poor mental health is down to fractured thinking. Good mental health relates to the strength of our mind. Thinking of the mind as a muscle helps. If we want stronger arms, legs or heart, we must engage in physical activity. Developing single-pointed awareness is the answer to strengthening our minds. Developing better focus, on one activity, to the exclusion of everything else, will lead to improved mental health and ultimately happiness

    Learn to meditate. Seek it out. Stick with it.

  • Beating Manipulators and Scammers with Mindfulness

    Through awareness we can get ahead of the thieves

    Before we can get scammed we need to be feeling certain emotions. Whether it be fear, excitement, compassion or loneliness, the scammer is relying on our humanity, to trick us. In a way, the fact that we seem so open to being scammed, does say something very positive about us. We feel. However, it’s acting impulsively on feelings alone, that’s our weakness. It’s the old idiom of allowing the heart to rule the head.

    Whatever the emotion the scammer is tapping into, they succeed, because our emotions often lead us into bypassing our critical thinking

    Being mindful of feelings allows us to take a moment to asses how these feelings might be causing us to act impulsively. Increased awareness of our feelings can help us in many ways. Scammers are one scourge modern life challenges us to deal with. A much older problem is that of being manipulated through our emotions by those we’re close to.

    An improved awareness of our emotions and how they affect our thinking helps us to deal with manipulative people

    The emotional mind can seem very complicated. How we react emotionally is subjective and personal to us. When we’re able to separate the emotional mind from the thinking mind we have the power to make better choices. Choices that are not driven by fear, guilt, or anger. So when feeling, take a breath, and become mindful of how your emotions are affecting your decisions. Scammers and manipulators are powerless against a calm and well reasoned mind.

  • Opinions Thoughts & Beliefs – The Crux of the Matter

    When we get right down to the heart of the matter it’s possible to remove so much of the wheat from the chaff

    Starting with opinions. Ask: What is my opinion based on? Naturally the answer is knowledge. Your understandings of the world and most importantly your beliefs.

    And so opinions are based on beliefs. What about thought? What is thought based on? A though might start with a feeling. You see in the news that an aeroplane has crashed and you feel upset. Fear is there. Anger is there. Wonder is there (someone survived). And then you form opinions based on your thoughts. What are your beliefs about the safety of aeroplanes? Do you believe they are intrinsically unsafe? If so, even though it’s a very rare event, your opinion might be; Oh my God, another one! Your beliefs will filter your opinions and, subsequently, your reactions. It might even affect you to the point of avoiding flying from this point on. At the extreme, you might become fearful of travel in general.

    How would it be if you simply learned of the accident and managed to stop yourself from thinking and forming an opinion? How would it be if you understood the suffering of others through ambivalence (neutrality)?

    Other peoples suffering is something we must be aware of. We decide how their suffering affects us. If we allow ourselves to become overly involved in the suffering of others we can also become lost. Far better to be one step removed (emotionally) and then seek to understand how suffering is generated and exacerbated. We can then offer this understanding to others.

    There is a need to being removed from our opinions and emotions

    Especially if you have no direct involvement. Ambivalence to the seeming chaos in the world is necessary for our own well-being. We find the ability to remain neutral and unaffected by tragic events through mental strength. Our mental strength will determine control over thoughts and opinions based on beliefs. The most effective method of improving how much control we have over our minds is meditation.

    Meditation leads to improved mindfulness. Mindfulness is the awareness of our emotions and thoughts. Meditation is the study of our consciousness. Through becoming aware, we can control our thoughts and opinions, directly influencing our overall well-being. Well reasoned and measured reactions to events are a sign of our maturity and mental fitness.

    Learn to meditate . . .

  • Mindful of the Game #4

    How useful would it be if we were able to recognize instantly what the intentions of those we meet really are?

    It is human nature for people to work hard to get what they want. Let’s say a couple have made some small alterations to their new home. These alterations have unfortunately left a hole in the wood flooring. This flooring was fairly new and had been paid for by the previous owners a few years ago. The new owners have pondered over how they can resolve the situation and discovered that the floor had been laid by a local company. It makes sense for them to approach this flooring company and get the hole fixed.

    It’s quite possible these home owners know they’ve made a mistake in moving fixed items that the flooring has been laid around. A kitchen sink in this example

    They’re uncertain on several counts: Firstly, the flooring company aren’t necessarily going to be interested in a small job such as this. And secondly, they can’t be sure if the flooring company does repair or restoration work. And so with this in mind, the couple approach the flooring company with a certain strategy.

    They’re going to tell the guy behind the desk what’s going to happen. They’re going to effectively bully the companies representative into conceding that the company has some kind of moral obligation to fix their mistake. They’re going to tell the representative how easy it’s all going to be and how it really isn’t going to be any trouble to the company at all. They do in fact suspect it will be the direct opposite of this.

    Fixing a hole, in tongue and groove flooring, is anything but a simple job. The wood needs to be matched. A small quantity of wood needs to be found (flooring manufactures do not supply in small amounts). And a carpenter will need to lift surrounding flooring and cut new pieces to fit. All of this takes time and money, but according to the customer, it’s an easy inexpensive quick job.

    The manipulative and bullying home owners have succeeded in getting a surveyor from the flooring company to spend time and energy assessing the job. There is a feeling of resentment being felt by the company representatives

    Consider how the situation would be if the representative had quickly established and understood the manipulative, bullying tactics being used. He would have been able to instantly play the game to his advantage. He could have answered their initial inquiry by stating that the company doesn’t engage with restoration or repair work. Restoration and repair work is a whole different thing to supplying and fitting new flooring. No fear of confrontation would have also helped the representative assert the best interests of the company.

    The answer here is mindfulness. We must all be mindful of how we get our needs met. If we want to ensure there is no resentment being felt; that any engagement with our fellow man is amicable and peaceful, it is important to be respectful to all parties. It is possible to play the game so that we all win. Mindfulness would have shown the home owners that moving the kitchen sink was a very bad idea. They wouldn’t have needed to bully or manipulate anyone as a result of not damaging the floor in the first place.

    We must ask: In what way are the manipulative bullies of the world destroying peace and stability, simply as a result of not thinking things through? Mindfulness, on the part of the representative, to the nature of the couples tactics,would have equipped him to deal with it in a way that left no resentment. He wouldn’t be left feeling resentful if he’d been better able to assert the companies standpoint. We must act without fear and at the same time be respectful of the needs of all.