Practising Mindfulness

Category: personal development

  • Mindful Protection

    Gently bring the mind back into the present moment through focusing on the breath

    On the occasions, when we choose to open our minds to what the media is showing us, it seems like the world has gone mad. Has it ever been any different? Large scale conflicts are only symbolic of the turmoil and conflict our leaders are facing. Warped ideology (from our perspective) anger, fear, the need for control, the ego, et cetera, et cetera. All symptomatic of minds out of control.

    Take control of your mind. Take control of your life

    Self consciousness, self awareness, call it what you will. The greater our awareness of thoughts, and how they dictate the kind of life we live, the better. There are those who thrive on chaos. In fact they long for it because it’s all they know. I can relate to this. For much of my time I rejected all that was good in my life through my minds need to feed its addiction to chaos. Constant stimulation. Constant craving. The constant need to ease my loneliness. A loneliness fed by my need for chaos. Can you see the destructive cycle I was in? This is what so many of us are doing: Seeking to ease our loneliness. In the process, our minds take us unceasingly toward what we refuse to look at: Our fear and loneliness. It is us that’s creating the destructive cycle. It is our minds attempt to understand. Great leaders and philosophers of the past knew this and looked to help humanity in its struggles. Until we break the cycle, how will we ever understand? We cannot read and implement what the great leaders of the past taught us without first becoming aware.

    The solution, countless enlightened individuals have found is, mindfulness

    With practice we can get to the root of what we are. We can find a calmness of mind, underneath the chaos, that reveals pure awareness. When we have this, we’re able to notice all the beauty that surrounds us.

    Personal circumstances matter not. There is suffering, yet our suffering can be eased, when we have clear insight into how it is us that amplifies our self-destructive tendency.

    We could choose anger

    Mindfulness helps us understand, it’s what we choose, that determines the quality of life we experience. No matter your circumstances, through learning how to take control of your mind, you empower yourself to make the right choices. If you want purpose in your life make it the development of mindfulness. Develop a beautiful mind. People with purpose make their own choices. Not those dictated to them by others.

  • The Power to Choose over the Pervasive Influence of Anxiety

    We can of course get drugs to fix most things (or so we’re led to believe) and are the drugs a long term healthy fix? We may also be led to believe we’re powerless to make the changes we need. We may believe we’re unable to take control

    Intentional or not it is in the drug industries interest that we continue to believe we need their assistance. There is no doubt modern medicines have their place and value. It would certainly never be for me to advise anyone about medication prescribed by professionals. We must remember that those professionals are as reliant on drugs as those they prescribe them to. So rather than this reliance, we can seek to find the answers from within ourselves, and if those answers are beyond any recourses we hold, we must educate ourselves into changing our thinking. How does that sound? Challenging? To love a challenge we must firstly keep an eye on the prize.

    Some, after many years of searching, finally see the true reasons for their difficulties. Those that find the answers can then help us take a shortcut; a rabbit run to our prize. To take advantage of this we must listen and pay attention. We must be mindful

    Always stop and take a moment to consider the root causes. What are our responses to anxiety and fear? So many children are pacified with sweets and food. Children struggle to deal with strong emotions. Parents often struggle to deal with their children’s emotions. Instead of remaining calm and reasoned a parent may instantly seek to ease their child’s unease with sweets and food. In whatever way we seek to ease our children’s upset, we can trace our own experiences back, and see how similar solutions were offered to us. These solutions have grown and mutated over time. We may be copying the behaviour we witnessed as a child. Sometimes we’re not even consciously aware of how we reach for the distraction before experiencing the emotion.

    Instead, we must make offerings of love, and comfort. We then wait for the mind to gain control in its own time. The avoidance of feelings, through the usual unhealthy distractions, only delays the inevitable. They will always surface in some form. If we continue to eat, instead of feeling and working through anxiety, we end up with all the associated diseases that come with obesity

    The root of our anxiety can be simple. A lonely child is standing in the que at the tuck shop because he is afraid. The sweets will act as a distraction and the sugar itself will lift his mood. When we spend time with the child within ourselves, this simple act, can ease our loneliness. As adults when we’re mindful of our habits – through seeing their root – they become less like habits. When we’re aware of the distraction the feelings will surface. We must feel them to be free of them. Will drugs help us with this? Or will our awareness?

  • Mindful of the Game #2

    Poor timekeeping is saying: Your time is worth less than mine. You are unimportant. I am important and to help you understand that I’m going to keep you waiting

    Other human beings remind me everyday of how unimportant I am. I get it. I’m nothing. About as insignificant as an ant they’ve just stepped on. Although this is the case, when I’m reminded of this through people being late, it isn’t actually at any cost to me. The loss is theirs.

    Never be fooled by the excuses. When people are late it’s because they have no respect for your time. What this teaches you is, they have no respect for their own time. In more ways than one, they are not present

    And so this is what the individual with poor timekeeping has to teach you. Heed the lessons and gently remove yourself from their lives. I simply have no time for those who don’t respect mind. I remove them from my attention. Done. I can no longer understand a word they say. And as such, I have nothing to offer them. If only they knew how much they’ve lost.

  • Mindful of the Game

    By taking a moment to process the kind of responses people give, can help to ensure the rules or purpose of the game, (it’s always a game) are fully understood

    Often, when talking to friends, family and partners, we can neglect to register the nature and true purpose of the interaction. Most importantly, there are times when the interaction has a nefarious root. Responses can be geared so that their effect, if not quickly realised, are unconsciously damaging. Subtle gaslighting if you will. Always slow and consider any potential hidden agenda when interacting with other game players.

    It may not be possible to read the true purpose of the interaction first time. No matter. Just acknowledge how the conversation or questions make you feel. In this way the next time you’ll be ready to play the game differently

    Consider something as simple as giving your opinion on how something looks. It may be that the true intention (unconscious intention) is to ultimately dismiss your opinions as worthless. Are you being lead to feel that your opinion will help to ease someone’s indicisiveness only for this to then be ignored? Does this happen often? Be aware of the game and learn how gaslighting in this way can be played to give others a harmful advantage. Harmful, because ultimately, it’s psychologically damaging. Once you’re aware (mindful), of their fear based advantage, it becomes neutralised. Your love based gameplay can come into force when you gently point out your awareness of their intention. They will of course deny any nefarious intention and this, once again, is just gameplay. Be aware.

  • Personal Growth and Mindfulness

    Personal growth cannot happen until we’re aware of our thoughts and the processes involved

    When we think about it there’s a certain logic in the above statement. How can it be possible to walk the path of personal growth without first becoming aware of what drives us?

    And when I ask what drives us, I’m not asking about the motivation behind embarking on personal growth. What I’m really asking is: What drivings do you have that you’re currently unaware of?

    Once we become mindful of our thoughts we increase the likelihood of recognising those thoughts, that our own minds have designed, to scupper our chances of growing.

    Discovering the nature of our thoughts and then tracing them back to what we believe, and where these beliefs came from, enables us to take control.

    We’re in control because we’ve made ourselves consciously aware, not only of the thoughts, but the nature of them. Are our thoughts limiting or empowering? Positive or negative? What are the beliefs that drive them?

    Yes it is this simple. Never assume though, that just because it’s possible to sum up what we must do in a few sentences, that it’s going to be easy.

    In fact taking control of mind can be very challenging. Isn’t this what life is about? Being challenged at every step? Indeed it is. I doubt you’d be interested if it was easy.

    And consider the rewards of being in control of your mind. Your mind is the only thing you’ll ever be in control of. Your choices are what make the difference.

    And improving the quality of your choices begins by become aware of your thinking and the drivers; Beliefs.

  • Silence or You’ll Get What You Want

    In an interesting experiment I found that I got exactly what I didn’t and did want

    If ever you’ve looked to sell something, you’ll know, that the best way to achieve this (and remain calm) is, to accept that human beings are very curious creatures indeed. There are people who want the item you’re selling but can’t afford it. So these dreamers, in an attempt to feel closer to their dreams, will seek to waste your time in all manner of ways. There are serious buyers who simply refuse to pay what the item is worth (to you) so will also waste your time. And there are those who see an item, decide it’s worth, believe it’s genuine, make a decision, and then buy. I love these individuals. There are of course further examples of the type of people you’re likely to encounter but the three above are the main ones.

    When advertising your item, keep it simple and, in order to remain calm, remember the code of accepting you’ll get all manner of odd replies. If you don’t have the time or inclination don’t reply

    Something I’m currently advertising for sale is a motorcycle. Love them or loath them it seems to be a thriving market at the moment, and with the new season just around the corner, now is a good time to be selling. At the bottom of my ad I wrote: Serious contenders only, no silly questions please, I don’t have the time. Now this morning I had a lot of silly questions from an individual whose email address was sackmycook@ . . . I did indulge this guy and later laughed, a lot. Thankfully on this occasion I found it funny and interesting. I’ll call it an experiment and keep the wording as it is. As long as I remain mindful of keeping a sense of humour, and aware of how much time we all seem to have at playing each other, all will be well. It’s also worth remembering how our unconscious might be finding fulfillment of our expectations.

  • Good Consequences of Awareness

    Just as it should be I’m looking to focus on the positive consequences of awareness. Initially, increased awareness can seem negative, and indeed we can’t have one without the other, however, the initial negatives are overtaken by the good, allow me to explain

    Some time ago I was sitting in a meeting of managers headed by myself. I was introducing myself; singing my praises and generally bulling myself up before my audience. I was telling these nine managers all about how successful I’d been at varies points during my working life to date. It wasn’t long before one of these managers pipped up: “It seems you’ve been very successful at everything you’ve done!” she said. I instantly understood this as a sarcastic dig at my egotistical rant, and rightly so. My response probably wasn’t as she expected, I simply said, yes, I have, and this is something I want for you guys too.

    Whatever you set out to achieve give it your all and never give up

    Once drawn to the discipline of meditation it became my aspiration to gain the most from it. Mindfulness or increased awareness is the consequence of regular meditation. There are then consequences to this improved awareness and there is one in particular I’d like to talk about today. That of emotions.

    Of late I’ve noticed more of my emotions seem very close to the surface

    The overriding emotion, I’m accustomed to being at the surface the majority of the time, has been anger. I know how this connects to my past and I understand the associated fear and it’s awareness that has shown me this. Now that the anger is beginning to dissipate, many other emotions have begun to surface. The best way to describe it is to say: I’ve come home to myself. I’ve begun to feel more human; more in touch with myself and my emotions. Another thing that’s there is a lot of sadness and regret. The regret is something I’m dealing with, and as far as sadness is concerned, I can ease this in one major way: filter what I expose my mind to.

    In the past I’ve talked a lot about the media and the importance of filtering what you expose yourself to. The danger of overexposure is the numbing effect. We become indifferent

    It could be said indifference to the human condition has its uses. If we become bogged down with the suffering, the media tells us about every day, it can be counterproductive. So, if we want to help, rather than becoming indifferent, I feel it’s far better to accept that we live in a troubled world and then simply switch the news off. It’s unnecessary to remind oneself of this every day. That said, I know switching off the news is very difficult. Much like sorting my addictions to alcohol, nicotine and sugar (that last one still lingers) switching of my addiction to the news has proved very tricky. I find now though, as a result of my improved awareness – of the present moment – watching the news has become damaging. It’s bringing me down. I can’t be indifferent whilst also being aware. What I can and must do now is make the decision to switch it off and find something else to do.

    The good consequences of awareness is how much more human we become

    All manner of things become brighter and more pleasurable once we’re aware. Aware, it can feel like a shroud has been lifted from your head. It’s as if a level of depression, that you didn’t even realise was there, has been lifted. I’m left wondering how many of us are walking around mildly numb. How many of us, in order to survive, have pushed our awareness and emotions down below the surface? Breath in now, come up for air, it’s time to wake up. It may seem difficult to begin with, but if we don’t do this now, most of us will go to our graves never really experiencing how it feels to be fully alive.