There are certain conditions that will make it hard to cultivate the following:
- Love
- Compassion
- Generosity
- Empathy
- Kindness
- Gentleness
- Understanding
- Acceptance
Category: Wholeness
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All the things to Cultivate
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Reduce the Suffering of Others
I no longer have anything to prove or reason to compete. I’d also like to cease any need to feel validated or approved of. Achieving these things requires mindfulness and once achieved bring peace of mind
I’ve wondered what’s left when we take away competitiveness, approval and validation. I realise that in order to move forward and engage with life, as the teachers we all are, what remains, indeed must remain, is the simple desire to reduce the suffering of others. Why should we desire this? Because it reduces our own suffering.
We can all help reduce the suffering we and others experience, through being mindful of our thoughts, speech and actions. These things are interconnected
I feel we must have the ability to question our beliefs, so we may alter our views, as this enables us to ‘clean up’ our thinking; thinking that is the result of how we were conditioned. Once we’re able to clear the view we’re then able to ensure our thoughts are of a wholesome nature. When our thoughts are wholesome this is reflected in the things we say and do. As a consequence of improving these things, through mindfulness, we instantly reduce all suffering.
It’s interesting to consider how life would be if more of us gained the awareness of unhealthy competitiveness and how we remain childlike in our need for validation and approval. By casting these things aside, we clear a path for different motivations, of a more wholesome nature. We experience more love and become more compassionate toward our fellow man, our home, our true home (our selves) and all living beings.
Mindfulness is key. Consider today, how raising your awareness, can improve your quality of life.
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More Love – A Healthy Requirement
The ego wants to win because it’s being at the top that’s important. Wise men have told us to control our ego
Control, through an awareness of the influence of ego, is essential if we’re to gain a true and lasting sense of happiness. The ego isn’t concerned with happiness but only with winning. And as we are often shown even the winners aren’t necessarily happy. The egotistical are often the most troubled of us all. And we mustn’t mistake the desires of the ego with the requirement for more love.
When we have a clear understanding of what love achieves for us, and what the ego is seeking to achieve, we find our true sense of happiness
I’ve often found myself confused as to what I’m looking for. I wonder: is this love or my ego? I’m cautious because I’m very aware of the dangers and limitations of my ego driven desires. A competitive nature is all well and good, yet the way to avoid the games and hurt our competitive nature can evoke is, to be able to separate love and ego.
Love is the listener, love is the kind carer. Ego is the warlord and ego is the player
So we must focus our attention on the healthy requirement of more love. What must we do to gain this? We must teach it. We must share it. And we must give freely of it. Love gives freely of itself, this is why it endures.
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Centered
Some time ago if I’d heard someone describe themselves as ‘centered’ I wouldn’t have considered them as a serious contender, however, I now know, this was because I had a very poor understanding of what it meant to feel this way
It was only last night that I found myself wondering how to describe a certain state of mind. If anything, the way I felt, was a sort of non-feeling. And so today’s post is in response to last night’s state of mind.
Being centered is to be exactly as the word would imply: in the centre. And last night I neither felt happy or sad, satisfied or dissatisfied, comfortable or uncomfortable, I was simply somewhere in between. I had no opinions on anything one way or another. I was centered.
We must understand how this is a useful place to become familiar with, so that we may return to it, during stressful times
We are emotional beings and these emotions are a very necessary part of us. The trick, of course, is to be in control of these emotions through being mindfully aware of the thoughts that drive them. When this is the case, we can hone and direct our passions, in a way that is controlled and at its most efficient. It’s when we act impulsively, without direction and planning, that things can go wrong. Being centered helps us to act in a calm and rational way. So if you want to be a serious contender, mindfulness, is key.
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Empower Your Higher Self
By taking control of your chattering mind you’re automatically giving your higher self a chance to be heard
I firmly believe in the concept of a higher self. Without this belief to call on I feel my life would be at risk of spiralling out of control. And the important point to gain from todays post, is not so much the idea of a higher self, but the necessity of allowing this aspect of ourselves to be heard.
If we never take the opportunity to stop and take control of our minds, through meditation that leads to improved mindfulness, what chance would a quiet, peaceful, and loving voice have of being heard? This voice is of course our own and can only be heard once all other chatter is still.
Our internal chatter is the self-programming that instructs us on how to think and behave. And this in turn is based on our beliefs, hang ups, fears and ambitions. There’s a lot of clutter there and some of this clutter is the deciding factor in so many of our difficulties and anguish. So when we’re able to silence all the noise – if only for brief moments – our higher self is given the opportunity to break through.
Your higher self knows the answers to so many of your questions. It is the part of you that knows what you must do in order to live well
Through choosing to take control of your mind, you will be empowering your higher self, to award you clear instructions on what you must do. Consider how the only motivation of this aspect of your self is love. When we give love a voice, what do we hear?
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Emancipation from Identity
As I meditated this morning my mind began to question the purpose of identity
We all need to belong do we not? It’s important for us humans to be part of something, to feel included, valued and loved. Freud noted that one of our most powerful drivings is the need for greatness, perhaps, when we have a strong identity, it’s easier to find this. It’s my suggestion that we question what we identify with and question the value of this identity.
I feel the longer we hold on to an identity, that automatically associates us with a negative and painful past, the longer we stay trapped
Many would argue that it’s important to hold on to our identity. It is. after all, who we are. If we think of ‘our people’ as a group or race that have overcome adversity in the past, we must hold on to everything associated with this, and in turn be one of the great. All well and good, and yet hanging on to the hurt and anger from past oppression, and continually teaching guilt to the innocent, turns us into oppressors.
Why would we need to continue to teach people, who have no connection to the past other than say a language or skin colour, to feel guilty about the wrongs of their ancestors? So we feel a sense of power? Guilt is most certainly used as a means of control over human behaviour, but ultimately backfires when seen for what it is. In fact those who are taught they are guilty will behave in a way dictated by this. An abused child, who has buried feelings of guilt, may well go on to become an abuser as an adult. In this respect what way might we be keeping racism alive?
Identifying as a good, loving and compassionate human being, must surely be the only identity you’ll ever need
And so during your meditation ponder on identity. Does what you identify with set you free? If not, simply consider yourself as a fellow human being, who is seeking to be the best version of themselves as possible. Consider love as the only companion you need. Consider the greatness you will find.
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Fear that You Cannot Feel
Fear that we cannot feel shows itself in other ways. This is another reason why awareness is so important. Here, I’m talking about an awareness of how the fear we cannot feel, manifests itself.
It’s my understanding that a lifetime of low level, free-floating anxiety, can lead to all manner of health issues. As such, the sooner we recognise it, the better.
Where does this anxiety originate?
When our survival is threatened the body responds by releasing certain hormones. Constant, heightened levels of these hormones is not a natural state of affairs, and will cause damage. There may have been times during our developmental years where we felt extreme levels of stress and fear. The consequences of this can follow us all through our lives, and if remain unchecked, result in illness.
We’re instantly empowered when we understand how the mind will seek other solutions rather than deal with the real issue
We are frightened of fear itself. We are often reluctant to address the root issues and where they lie. Because of this we take pain killers, we continue with a lifestyle that is damaging, and we spend time hoping that someone else will look after us, and simply take our problems and pain away. No one can do this for us. We can only be shown the solutions; it is then up to us to become actively involved with applying them to ourselves.
Fear can stop us from asking the all important question: what is the root to this problem?
One of the consequences of mediation is the surfacing of previously unfelt fear. This is the reason some will warn you against meditation. Perhaps these people are fearful themselves. When we meditate, on a regular basis, we become more mindful (aware). This challenging awareness could save our lives. Have you thought about that?
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From Turmoil to Stillness (limitless potential)
There’s a torrid restlessness driven by a longing that must be satisfied. The driving, to fulfill what the heart believes, is so overwhelming, that nothing can stop its progress. Only once you hold the potential in your hands will you ever calm the torment of a restless mind
We’re all longing for something aren’t we? And how many of us actually know what it is we seek? Perhaps, like most, there’s a driving that comes from deep within that can’t be defined. We don’t understand this desire, we just blindly pursue it. We’re restless until all the pieces are in place. And yet what are the pieces? What is it we want?
Even though we’re unable to define this longing within us; unable to see the end goal, we keep on striving for it
It’s like the new born child who doesn’t understand hunger but just knows there’s something required. In order to survive the baby senses their needs. The methods used to gain these requirements is to appeal to its carer. The appeal is formed through crying and wriggling – to display restlessness – until soothed and provided for. Why should our minds now be any different? As long as we believe there is a requirement for our survival, that’s not being met, we will feel the very same torment and restlessness, experienced by the child.
And what of us who’re unable to find this requirement? That, I would suggest, is most of us. There is no satisfying a restless mind that doesn’t understand what it seeks, and so stop your pretense. Instead, own up, to your incompleteness
If patience is a gentle appreciation of potential, perhaps the turmoil will cease, when everything is in place. Perhaps, once the egg has been laid, the waiting is made bearable through the potential that grows within it.
When you sit and meditate, seek the understanding of how it is you, that grows within the egg. What comes to you then, as a result of waiting patiently, is not the brief satisfaction – gained from achieving what it is you believed the requirement was – but the simple stillness of mind gained from acknowledging your limitless potential.
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Understanding Patience
I’m siting in my room waiting. I’m impatient for something to happen. I feel frustrated and anxious. I feel like I’m suffering, there’s almost a physical pain, to my impatience
In that moment, back then, I’m about ten years old. I’ve always struggled with empty moments; when there’s nothing happening. During this time the void is filled with anxiety, wanting and the nonexistent silence. I might spend time running through imaginary scenarios in my mind, seeking to figure out what I’d like to do, in order to fill up these nothing moments. Often, none of the scenarios I imagine take my fancy, and so I’m just left with feelings of frustration, over my sense that time, is being wasted. And our time is short.
I’ve since learnt to lower my expectations and understand how inevitable it is that a lonely and unstimulated child will suffer
The opposite, is an overly stimulated child, who doesn’t know this nothingness and then grows into an adult who always crams to much in; late for everything and everyone. Finding somewhere in between is the ideal. The ability to calmly make a plan for the day appreciating how long each activity will take.
Oddly enough I’m drawn to nothingness; the desire to do nothing. It’s as if my mind is seeking to show me what exists within this nothingness; that my mind is seeking to reveal the root of my frustration: a childhood of neglect
It’s often the case, that the many children who experience neglect, build powerful imaginations. We could even say that the building of a powerful imagination was our coping mechanism. Certainly useful as a child and also useful when seeking creativity as an adult. One thing we must now learn though, is the ability to quieten such an imagination. The mind can become hopelessly addicted to the stimulation our imagination provides. We must learn the patience needed to calm ourselves, and accept that we are no longer a child, that craves the stimulation and company of an absent parent.
Patience comes from maturity and wisdom. Emotional maturity reveals how ridiculous it is, to expect something to happen, if we just wait long enough. Wisdom shows us what we must do to make our desires a reality
Impatience is borne from a mind that is constantly casting itself into an imagined future. A mind that is untamed – believing that time is short – will be frustrated to be elsewhere doing something else, seeking fulfillment of impossible dreams. Patience comes when we cease the unnecessary search; when we’re able to move from one moment to the next, content in ourselves; expectations properly placed. Stop listening to the nonexistent.
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Loves Freedom
Fear can come in many guises, and yet once we become aware of it, we have the power to push it away
I was reminded recently of the manipulative nature of fear. It’s important to consider that it is OUR fear that manipulates us. For example, if we fear loss or hardship, it is this that others are able to tap into. Once our fear is tapped into they’re able to bend us to their will. Whether this fear is generated by a lonely parent, who threatens to change a will, or job insecurities that enable an employer to gain more than their monies worth, it is OUR fear that’s the problem.
When we turn to love – of ourselves, our lives and our time – fear melts away
Of course, if we’re to lose the type of fear, the above examples generate, we need to be in love with the very basics of what life has to offer. If we believe, deep in our hearts, that as a consequence of the wily whits evolution has provided us, that we will always be okay, fear has no hold on us. When we fully understand how personal responsibility applies to everyone, and are fearless of loss or hardship, no one has a hold on us either. Sometimes we may need to face up to the hardship – of not having everything we want – and we might miss the futures we imagined, however, be assured that these are only lessons in our beautiful journey through life. Free yourself and turn to love.
Practising Mindfulness 