Practising Mindfulness

Category: Wholeness

  • Your Own World – A Beautiful Place

    The beliefs, choices, and decisions others make, have nothing to do with you

    Yesterday morning I went swimming in the sea. It’s the first time I’ve been at that time of day. I suppose I’ve never really felt motivated enough to do it before. There was light mizzle in the air and the sky was grey, even so, I had a fantastic experience and all was well in my world. Other than how wonderful it was, I thought of nothing, during my swimming experience. During this time I was free from opinions and therefore my reoccurring anger at human madness.

    It does take effort, time and the motivation, to create your own world

    The most important aspect of this, is the ability to free ourselves from opinions and judgement. In the past I’ve felt compelled; driven to form and share my opinions. Almost as if I didn’t have the right to not have one. This, no doubt, comes from a judgemental and authoritarian parent who always insisted I answered every question posed and opinion sought. Perhaps you can relate to this in some way? Now though I realise I do actually have the right to no opinion.

    Free yourself and create your own world away from opinions and judgement. They only compound ideas and beliefs that probably weren’t even yours to begin with.

  • Start as you Mean to Go On

    Consider how things would feel if you started a relationship as companions and just waited to see how things worked out

    Relationships have always been a tricky business. We’re often left guessing as to someone’s intentions, integrity and desires. We might try certain types of manipulation and gameplay in order to gain this information. We might try to control behaviour and outcomes. All part of the human condition.

    At the beginning of a relationship if someone had stated: “what I want right now is companionship and an open mind”, I’d of either run a mile, or been intrigued

    We can easily envisage a long term relationship evolving into a beautiful companionship, and so what I’m suggesting, is that we think about forming this kind of relationship before anything else. Think about how all the gameplay, manipulation and fear, has long since dissolved from a relationship that is purely based on our human need for companionship. How beautiful would it be if we started in that place?

  • Remove the cancer of negativity

    Negativity
    Think about dreams. Think about their symbolic nature. More than symbolic, we could even go as far as saying our dreams, are metaphorical

    Dreams are the language of the unconscious. Taking this one step further, what other methods of communication does the unconscious utilise? Our unintentional, or unconscious behaviour, is of course a form of communication to others. So what about the unconscious communication our mind uses, along with dreams, to speak directly to our consciousness? It’s important to consider the symbolic, metaphorical nature, of unconscious communication.

    Gilbert Ryle condescendingly referred to René Descartes‘ concept of mind-body dualism as: “The Ghost In The Machine.” It’s also certainly clear to me, no duality exists between body and mind, hence the term ‘bodymind’ found elsewhere, in this blog. As such, when we look closely at this inseparable and complex link, we can safely say, the unconscious communicates in any way it possibly can.

    When we see dis-ease as a clear communication from the bodymind, we’re on the right track to taking full control, of our lives. What do you imagine – with everything said so far – is the bodymind looking to communicate, through the dis-ease of cancer? What metaphorical meaning can we attribute to a cell that won’t die; a cell that refuses to stop replicating itself? Can we consider this cells refusal to die, a metaphor, for not letting go? You bet we can.

    It’s important we understand the necessity in letting go of negativity. Repetitive, negative thoughts and memories, are the product of a mind that refuses to let go. We must understand the message our bodymind sends us. Cancer is a clear message: Let go of the negatives from the past

    Some might say forgiveness is the tool needed for this letting go. I say forget forgiveness, we now have better tools, at our disposal. When we truly let go of the past, forgiveness becomes irrelevant. When we’re able to fully and completely move on, through dropping the past – as you’d drop a piece of rotten wood – we free ourselves of a negative future. That’s right, I repeat: We free ourselves of a negative future.

    Remove the cancer of negativity
    New Growth once we remove the cancer of negativity

    I can teach you how to use tools that utterly dispose of the self-destructive negatives from your past. Learn more here.

  • When We Finally Meet Our Alien-Selves

    Image by Comfreak
    How are we to recognise what we’ve never experienced? How are we to love the stranger we do not know

    Are we all searching or waiting for something? Some inspiration, reward or experience? And during this search is it possible to experience a feeling, or state of mind, that is so unfamiliar to us, that we pass it off as alien and so reject it? We might mistake calm, for example, as sleepiness and then drink copious amounts of coffee to wake us up. We might mistake contentedness as lackluster and world weariness. We might mistake contentedness as having given up.

    Most of us are constantly seeking to change how we feel

    It’s fascinating when we think of it. What an earth is going on that we should feel the need to be in a different state to the one we naturally find ourselves? How is it we can’t simply be as we find? And it runs into so many aspects of our lives doesn’t it?

    My mind instantly jumps into thinking about young girls and how they feel the need to change or enhance their physical appearance. Obviously, on some level, they believe their natural-selves to be lacking, or they feel the need to compete and establish stronger identities than their peers. To be larger than life. To be more than what they appear to be. To deceive the observer.

    Just as an ignorant child wants to put his finger in the flame, our fascination with our emotional selves, drives unnecessary provocation

    It’s certain that if more time were spent explaining emotions, their purpose, and how to manage them, they’d be less need to put fingers to flame. Just as the moth is drawn to the flame, we also, lose our way through ignorance and confusion.

    When we experience the unfamiliar, we must pause and immerse ourselves, instead of instantly rejecting it and seeking to change

    When the young girl, who lacks self-awareness, looks in the mirror, she imagines herself with bigger lips and different eyebrows. When those who are unfamiliar with calm and contentment, feel this alien emotion, they instantly imagine themselves stimulated doing or being somewhere else. Instead, when we finally meet our alien-selves it’s useful to pause and give them a chance to explain. When we see them in the mirror, pause, and see the beauty, that’s already there.

  • Vaccines for the Body Awareness for the Mind

    Image by mollyroselee
    I wonder about the effectiveness of meditation as much as I wonder about the effectiveness of vaccines

    When I first sat down to write this piece I began to think about how effective meditation would have been for me some years ago. Whilst in the middle of being terrified and lost would meditation have been of any value to me? Would it have even been possible?

    In answer to those questions, I think without it being explained to me, in clear terms, what the effects and consequences of improved awareness are, my experience of meditation would have been very brief. However, if, by first understanding exactly why my life was such a disaster (to be made aware of all the consequences to loneliness and a better exploration of my delusional beliefs) meditation might have saved me a lot of time and suffering.

    When we’re grasping for the next thing – be this a drink or some other distraction – to gain control, we need to see the underlying cause

    It was last night that I found myself thinking about isolation. How, as a child, if my behavior was disruptive, I would be punished through being sent into isolation in my bedroom. I hated this, I remember feeling very troubled when excluded from the rest of the family. I would creep to the top of the stairs, which were open-plan, so I could see what was going on, only to be spotted by one of my sisters and then told to get back to my room.

    I know now, that the reason being in my bedroom alone was so difficult, was because it compounded my sense of loneliness. When in company my loneliness was far less apparent. The effect and consequences to this, in adulthood, was to spend time drunk (to feel comfortable around people) in pubs to make my loneliness less apparent. A further consequence was my need for constant stimulation and the avoidance of quiet time alone.

    What I’ve since needed, in order to stop grasping for something to ease the pain of loneliness, is an understanding of what lies at its root. If we neither know or like ourselves, loneliness is the result. We will always seek ways to ease this pain.

    With this knowledge, meditation, that leads to improved everyday mindfulness, helps me defend my mind against the many predators and players in life, and also remain vigilant to the importance of self-awareness

    The long and the short of it is, improved awareness, has great value provided we understand the root to our dysfunctionality. If you are currently experiencing a high degree of instability, working through this, with a mental health professional, is recommended. And a must before Meditation to Mindfulness Workshop attendance.

    Philip Whittingham is currently only able to offer Analytical Hypnotherapy Services through home visits in the South West of England.

  • This Extraordinary Moment

    Image by Reimund Bertrams from Pixabay
    Human history is full of extraordinary moments

    Even though this is true, when we bring things down to a personal level, it really is only this present moment now that matters. Of course the important proviso is, that you’re actually fully aware, and immersed in this moment now.

    For me, being fully in the moment, involves an awareness of just how weird and wonderful everything is. I imagine myself feeling similar to how a child must feel when viewing everything for the first time. There is an added appreciation of this due to my awareness of just how much I don’t know or can come close to understanding. This only makes the moment even more fascinating.

    All in all, human drama, pales into insignificance, when we glance at the bigger picture

    We mustn’t become self-absorbed as a result of being present. There is the tendency to be this way during meditation. In fact, on reading a lot of the literature surrounding the subject, we can be misled into thinking that meditation is all about the self. Initially, it might start off this way, and yet in time we must gain an awareness, through our meditation, of our place in the world. Through this, we can gain a sense of how small and insignificant we are, and there is value in this.

    The value, in seeing our insignificance, comes from understanding proportion

    If we become overly absorbed with our own lives and problems we can easily make the mistake of losing our sense of proportion. Fear of death or illness is a prime example. Stepping outside of ourselves, we see how the bigger picture can help us to appreciate, that there really is, only one moment we can live in. It’s a bit like the wealthy man with all his money, possessions, and places he can be. He can only ever be in one place at a time. The more we grasp, and want to claim for ourselves, outside of this one moment, the less we’re actually alive. The more we have the more distracted the mind is from appreciating our insignificance. Never see insignificant as a negative. When we are insignificant so are our problems.

    Take a moment to wonder at what exists outside and then marvel at the very fact you have an awareness of this

    It may seem a very strange thing to assert, that within the grand scheme of things, you are no more then a spec of dust. None of us. Not even the wealthy and powerful. I believe true power comes from an awareness of this. There is true power in knowing that you know nothing and there is true power in understanding your insignificance.

    I would much rather this than live the life of a dreamer seeking the illusion of recognition or significance. But then again, if none of us had dreamt of something different, would we have ever reduced the suffering we experienced in the past? An interesting question is it not? Perhaps, through understanding our individual insignificance, we could dream of a better future for all.

  • Kindness . . . Where will that get me?

    Image by Александр Мартинкевич from Pixabay
    Hate is on the agenda, the 1% are getting attention, so the rest of us need to work harder

    In light of that heading let’s just remind ourselves what there is to gain from kindness. You never know, this short post might make you aware of something, you didn’t previously know. And once reminded of the benefits and power of kindness we’re then much more likely to spread the message.

    It does seem the media are focusing on hate and deep down we all know why; it grabs attention. We’re bombarded at the moment with all the incidents of hate and the consequences. Our curiosity is piqued, we want to know how tough others lives are. We want to feel some light relief and distraction from our own problems. This is the human condition and the media know it. On the back of this we must always remember the figures in my opening heading: it’s the 1% we’re currently having an issue with and if it wasn’t for the media they wouldn’t have a voice and our lives would be less affected. Unfortunately, that isn’t the world we currently live in. So the antidote is for the rest of us to focus more intently on kindness, the advantages to us, and how we can spread it around a bit.

    Spread it like chocolate spread on toast or marmite if that’s your preference

    Let’s start with the understanding of where kindness will get us. In days of old we believed that kindness would earn us merit and increase the chances of being taken off to a better place after death. Of course many people still believe this, and yet fail at being kind, so that ones out the window. However, there is another slant, on the kindness issue. And even though you won’t earn merit in the heaven stakes, what you will earn, is a calmer state of mind. You will earn peace of mind.

    The way this works is simple. Before explaining that we must start with understanding hate

    Let’s say for example you object to the actions, campaigning, beliefs – or whatever – of a certain individual, and you would like them to stop. Let’s say you decide to start your own campaign of hate. Straight away we can know that this kind of strategy might make you feel better for a short while and indeed you might feel that it is having an effect. Over time though, this kind of thinking, begins to create rot.

    The hatred begins to compound itself and its force becomes stronger. It permeates through your entire being. In the end it will always end in tears. We can go further. At its root, hate, is fear. It could be that it’s the campaigning of others that is a threat to your beliefs and way of life. When such things are threatened fear is triggered at a deep level. We only need to question the shaky beliefs of religious zealots to see how fear manifests itself.

    So instead let’s say you begin a campaign of kindness

    As mentioned, kindness offers peace of mind and calmness to the giver. This works in the same way that hating compounds hate. Kindness compounds kindness through tapping into the associated emotion: Love. Yeap, love is the word. And that is what we need more of.

    So how do we start a campaign of kindness when we are afraid? Well we must own up. We must own up to our fear. When we are afraid it is almost impossible to project love and kindness. Owning up to this defuses its power. When we say: “Yeap, what you are doing frightens me,” we defuse the hate that’s there on all sides. We then begin to build a common understanding of how we can move forward from the issues at hand.

    The individual who is campaigning against what he sees as wrongdoing must recognize the hate that exists within him

    Such an individual may think that his campaigning is doing good, and yet fail to see how his beliefs in right and wrong, are the real problem. When we’re offering kindness to each other right and wrong cease to exist. We begin to understand the viewpoints of all concerned.

    So there we are. Do yourself a favour and offer kindness today. It will calm you and offer a peace of mind that facilitates understanding. When we understand the fear, love, is free to roam.

  • A Peaceful Journey Now

    “Those who know don’t talk, those who talk don’t know. Close your mouth, block off your senses, blunt your sharpness, untie your knots, soften your glare, settle your dust. This is the primal identity. Be like the Tao. It can’t be approached or withdrawn from, benefited or harmed, honoured or brought into disgrace. it gives itself up continually. That is why it endures.” – Lao Tzu

    Take some time to read and digest my analysis of this ancient wisdom. Later, the text in the headings, is to be learnt by heart. In this way, you’ll create a sense of safety and security, as you return to it, each time, you meditate.

    Those who know don’t talk . . .

    We become silent once we understand how forming and expressing opinions trap us. The beliefs our opinions are based on may be outdated and incorrect. If we form and verbalize them we compound them. Silence starts the process of freeing the mind.

    Those who talk don’t know . . .

    Actions speak louder than words. Our behaviour sets example and this will always be the most effective means of influencing others. Commanding the ear is one of the most challenging things we can attempt. It is rare that we are heard. We talk until we understand.

    Close your mouth . . .

    Become accustomed to silence.

    Block off your senses . . .

    Close your senses to those things and people that disrupt your peaceful state of mind. This includes the ramblings of the media; their judgmental and childish opinions on all things. The world begins to change according to your state of mind alone. Filling it with the opinions, hatred, propaganda, fear and willful mind games of the media, has no value and serves no purpose.

    Blunt your sharpness . . .

    A sharp knife is useful when preparing a meal. A mind that is overly excited or overstressed is running beyond it’s design capabilities. Let the knife do the cutting. Calm yourself, learn patience, breathe deeply and approach everything in a relaxed, mindful manner.

    Untie your knots . . .

    Consider the amount of conflict in your life. A knot is a sticking point. If you’re uncertain about something, cease thinking about it. Better still, remove it from your life, entirely. Worry and repetitive thinking is pointless. You didn’t ask to be born and yet you are here. It was the pleasure of others that created you. Therefore, it is right and proper that you should seek to enjoy every moment of your life, free from knots and confusion.

    Soften your glare . . .

    Your eyes are beautiful. Avert your eyes from what upsets you. Gently look upon those things that make you smile and bring you pleasure. Never look upon things in judgment. You have no right to make a judgement with a harsh look, just as no other, has the right to judge you. Looking harshly, we fail to see the beauty, that surrounds us.

    Settle your dust . . .

    Walk slowly and calmly among the people. Never raise a storm, always speak in soft and gentle tones. Anger and frustration, at those things we have no control over, only unsettles us from our peaceful path.

    This is the primal identity . . .

    All of the above resides within us. Imagine what happens to us when we start to believe that love is what we are.

    Be like the Tao . . .

    Adopt and follow beautiful, useful philosophies, and beliefs.

    It can’t be approached or withdrawn from . . .

    There is no need for us to seek something we already possess, all we need do, is raise our awareness to our true nature. Once we find this, it becomes impossible, to ignore.

    Benefited or harmed . . .

    Nothing can be added to an ingredient that is already perfect. It is impossible to harm something untouchable. You either know it or you don’t. It is what you are.

    Honoured or brought into disgrace . . .

    Again something that is untouchable has this neutrality. We cannot honour or disgrace something that is free of want. It just is.

    It gives itself up continually . . .

    We only know what we have once we give it away. When we recognise something there is a continuation. A river must keep flowing, because without this flow, it becomes a stagnant pool. We must accept that the things we give away become self-perpetuating.

    That is why it endures . . .

    What remains after we are gone are the things we freely gave away. Never the physical, but the kind words, the gentle consideration to others, the love and compassion. Generation after generation, will be affected by your actions and words, forever. As the Tao, Love endures.