Practising Mindfulness

Category: World Matters

  • Mastering Loneliness and Fear with Mindfulness

    Fear and loneliness drives self-destructive behaviour when we are unaware or in denial of their existence. When I was afraid and alone much of my fear and loneliness had been self-inflicted. The reasons for why I had driven myself to such a point is irrelevant. All that matters now, is my ability to tell my story, so that someone else may be better prepared.

    Mixed in was a large dose of guilt and this was at the root to my self-destructive behaviour. Even so, if I’d been more aware and ready to accept the existence of a place in between my feelings, I would have been better able to navigate the maze

    Once learned, the art of Meditation will help us to become aware of the nature of mind. Through Meditation – that leads to improved Mindfulness – we can become aware of the scheming mind. Afraid and alone the mind will seek to utilize all the tools it has at its disposal in order to help us survive. Even if this is to push the mind to the point of breakdown.

    As a child, I was shown the off switch of a breakdown. Some years ago, this method of survival was employed. A last resort called on from my limited repertoire.

    In order to escape the horror all around her my sister had a breakdown. The only way I can describe how she seemed is to say it was as if a fuse had blown in her mind. At her worst she would just moan and rock backwards and forwards. I can remember my father shaking her in an attempt to get her to stop. I can see now how terrified he was. Of course all his shaking did was make her moan loader and rock even faster. The off switch initially caused her to exhibit strange, irrational, and delusional behaviour. This defense mechanism has been called on by myself and another member of my family since. A very unpleasant place to be.

    But all of this aside, what my parents failed to realise, at the time of my sisters breakdown, was how their behaviour (fear) was what drove her there in the first place. And so we must equip the mind with the tools that are likely to make things far less traumatic and painful than flicking the off switch. My eldest sister never fully returned.

    When we learn control over our thoughts and feelings, this can be a safe place for us to enter, when we need time to observe the self objectively. To look down at our selves from above

    Now we must get to know our fear and loneliness. We must get to know our selves. When we do this, we offer the mind an opportunity to simply acknowledge these feelings, rather than trying to manage them in a self-destructive fashion. As Thich Nhat Hanh stated: “I hold my face between my hands to keep my loneliness warm”

    So many people fail to see their feelings in this way and so fail to take ownership of them. Instead of this the mind devises a plan using the only tools it has available. And due to this lack so many just flick the off switch. We must educate ourselves to fill the tool box of our minds. More tools equals more choice; more power.

    Learn to Meditate, let this lead to improved Mindfulness, and get to know the self.

  • Easing the Conflict

    I recently heard that there’s something like sixty five conflicts (impossible to confirm, could be more could be less, but you get the point) currently ongoing in the world. That’s right, sixty five! We can easily be indifferent to this through saying: “oh well, that’s just human nature and there’s sod all I can do about it.” And to a degree I would advise doing just that . . . be indifference toward things you can’t possibly have any influence over. However, there is something we can learn for ourselves, through simply being aware of the conflicted nature of our fellow man.

    When we have unrecognized conflict within ourselves this will always need to be expressed in some way. We humans often enjoy witnessing conflict. Be this in wars, soap operas, and politics.

    On a personal level, I remember my mother saying, on several occasions, how arguments “cleared the air.” My mother was a very conflicted person who seemed generally unhappy with the cards she’d been dealt. I feel she often needed an outlet for her frustrations. I wonder now if she imagined herself with a different life to the one she had created? Was this her conflict? It’s certain that constant arguments, with whoever was at hand, had the effect of temporarily easing the anger she felt as a consequence of her conflicted mind.

    Perhaps what she lacked was control over her situation. It is important to bear in mind, we can only effect positive influence over our external environment, once we have full control over the self. Mindful awareness is key.

    The antidote, to easing our troubled minds, is awareness. The need to experience the friction of conflict externally is there because we lack awareness. Acknowledge this.

    When we ask: What do I want? and find the answer to this question to be in opposition to what we’re actually getting, there is obviously discord. We must then find a way to become accepting of our current situation and then plan a peaceful means (draw up a peaceful plan) of getting what we want. It may take time for our plan to come to fruition and acknowledging that time is all we have helps us to become patient. After all it is not the destination that counts.

    Intention, that creates the energy needed for change to happen, is very different to the negative forces created by conflict.

    When we fail to see how conflicted we are, all we’re left with, is a sense of powerlessness. Expressing this through external means (war, arguments, soap operas, politics etc) creates the illusion of power and ultimately keeps us stuck. What’s needed is power over the self and this is gained through awareness. The awareness of our internal conflict. Do those who wage war have power over the self? Are they aware of their internal disputes? They are not.

    There is no conflict, only a short distance between where we are now, and where we want to be in the future.

  • Measure of Success

    The spiral of decline will cease once more of us begin to measure our success, not in terms of wealth, status, or possessions, but in terms of how aware we are.

    Mindfulness, of the value of our thoughts, beliefs, words, and actions, will bring a true sense of success that will aid our longevity.

  • All the things to Cultivate

    There are certain conditions that will make it hard to cultivate the following:
    • Love
    • Compassion
    • Generosity
    • Empathy
    • Kindness
    • Gentleness
    • Understanding
    • Acceptance
    What I find fascinating is, it’s the very condition of being human, that would have prevented me from seeking more of these things as a younger man.
    In fact, I wouldn’t have had a reason, to seek these things. The methods taught me to survive and cope with the madness were working. For so long, wrapped up in the western world’s belief in what from happiness should take, and how to find it.
    Perhaps, now that you’re reading this, you are ready to cultivate the things that really matter in life. If not, there’s every chance it will be a while, before you come back here. Don’t leave it too long.
    As a consequence of understanding how my condition would have prevented me seeking more of the contents of my list, I know that the most powerful way of helping others, to live with less pain and suffering, is to simply be the very example of what I now seek as an older man.
    If you’re ready to find more of these things, and would like to become a shinning example to others, this podcast is a good place to start. Be clear: there is no suggestion that we should all become Buddhist monks. No. The suggestion is that we begin to listen, and become further examples, of those who believe, not just in the power of love and compassion, but in all the things on my list.
    Begin to cultivate the things that really matter

  • Your Own World – A Beautiful Place

    The beliefs, choices, and decisions others make, have nothing to do with you

    Yesterday morning I went swimming in the sea. It’s the first time I’ve been at that time of day. I suppose I’ve never really felt motivated enough to do it before. There was light mizzle in the air and the sky was grey, even so, I had a fantastic experience and all was well in my world. Other than how wonderful it was, I thought of nothing, during my swimming experience. During this time I was free from opinions and therefore my reoccurring anger at human madness.

    It does take effort, time and the motivation, to create your own world

    The most important aspect of this, is the ability to free ourselves from opinions and judgement. In the past I’ve felt compelled; driven to form and share my opinions. Almost as if I didn’t have the right to not have one. This, no doubt, comes from a judgemental and authoritarian parent who always insisted I answered every question posed and opinion sought. Perhaps you can relate to this in some way? Now though I realise I do actually have the right to no opinion.

    Free yourself and create your own world away from opinions and judgement. They only compound ideas and beliefs that probably weren’t even yours to begin with.

  • Remove the cancer of negativity

    Negativity
    Think about dreams. Think about their symbolic nature. More than symbolic, we could even go as far as saying our dreams, are metaphorical

    Dreams are the language of the unconscious. Taking this one step further, what other methods of communication does the unconscious utilise? Our unintentional, or unconscious behaviour, is of course a form of communication to others. So what about the unconscious communication our mind uses, along with dreams, to speak directly to our consciousness? It’s important to consider the symbolic, metaphorical nature, of unconscious communication.

    Gilbert Ryle condescendingly referred to René Descartes‘ concept of mind-body dualism as: “The Ghost In The Machine.” It’s also certainly clear to me, no duality exists between body and mind, hence the term ‘bodymind’ found elsewhere, in this blog. As such, when we look closely at this inseparable and complex link, we can safely say, the unconscious communicates in any way it possibly can.

    When we see dis-ease as a clear communication from the bodymind, we’re on the right track to taking full control, of our lives. What do you imagine – with everything said so far – is the bodymind looking to communicate, through the dis-ease of cancer? What metaphorical meaning can we attribute to a cell that won’t die; a cell that refuses to stop replicating itself? Can we consider this cells refusal to die, a metaphor, for not letting go? You bet we can.

    It’s important we understand the necessity in letting go of negativity. Repetitive, negative thoughts and memories, are the product of a mind that refuses to let go. We must understand the message our bodymind sends us. Cancer is a clear message: Let go of the negatives from the past

    Some might say forgiveness is the tool needed for this letting go. I say forget forgiveness, we now have better tools, at our disposal. When we truly let go of the past, forgiveness becomes irrelevant. When we’re able to fully and completely move on, through dropping the past – as you’d drop a piece of rotten wood – we free ourselves of a negative future. That’s right, I repeat: We free ourselves of a negative future.

    Remove the cancer of negativity
    New Growth once we remove the cancer of negativity

    I can teach you how to use tools that utterly dispose of the self-destructive negatives from your past. Learn more here.

  • Mindfully Unsuffering

    Image by KELLEPICS
    It is said by some that suffering is created when we’re in a state of wanting or desiring. Is this true?

    It’s certainly the job of all of us to question what we and others believe. We can’t just accept what we’re told as true. We do have a tendency to do this a children. Our critical faculty isn’t sufficiently developed for us to successfully question teachers and parents. However, once we’re grown, it becomes our responsibility to question what we’ve been taught. We rid ourselves of the suffering experienced by others in this way. And this brings me to the belief that desires and wants equal suffering.

    It stands to reason that wanting what we can’t have creates tension but is this tension a form of suffering?

    Think of the word intention. What is your in-tention? Is it your intention to do good in the world? Is it your intention to get what you want? We never get what we want if there’s no intention. Let’s say we eradicated all wants. Would that solve the problems of humanity? How would things have turned out if Edward Jenner hadn’t wanted to cure smallpox? How would things have turned out if he had no intentions? Surely those of us who want to help ease the suffering of mankind are driven by desire and intention.

    Mindfully unsuffering involves the process of questioning the antiquated beliefs of others

    As time moves forward so must we. It is unacceptable to simply continue swallowing the beliefs and philosophies that were established hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago. Suffering is perpetuated when we’re mindless of the negative influence of antiquated beliefs. Suffering is when we stay chained to the growing pains of the past. We must move forward and recognise our responsibility to each other. We must drop our useless beliefs from the past.

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