Practising Mindfulness Latest Posts

  • Love is Forever

    Through leading a good life, when we are gone, all that remains is love

    It isn’t complicated, leading a good life. In fact, it’s the simplest thing there is. I think of the people who’ve led peaceful lives and I gain a sense of the love that remains. After the peaceful man or woman is gone there are only fond memories. There are only memories of the lessons in love they taught us.

    Like many there’s been fear in my life, yet, there is the knowledge, that holding on to the memories, beliefs, and feelings fear creates, is pointless

    Yes it’s true, these things don’t remain after we’ve gone, they’re forgotten, so why hang on to them now? Let them go. In my mind, the most influential people of the past, are the one’s who’ve led peaceful lives. It’s those people who’ve stayed within the boundaries of decent, loving behaviour, that endure in the memories of the majority. I don’t see monuments, cathedrals and places of remembrance, for the haters, or controlling, power hungry, dictators.

    All evidence of man’s existence will of course one day be gone but, it’s my belief, that even then, what will remain is information containing the evidence that we have loved. That we have loved each other, our home, and ourselves. Look up at the stars and instantly fall in love with the wonder of the universe. Look at each other, through the eyes of an innocent child, and you will love. So sit for a moment and let it all go. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we seek to lead peaceful loving lives, because this, is all we leave behind. Love. x

  • Inwardly Outwardly Aware

    Brief inward focus can vastly improve our external experience of life

    It’s my experience that we must limit the amount of time we spend inwardly focused. Focusing on our internal environment, at times other than during meditation, can be counter productive. We have things to do, busy lives to get on with, and it is those of us who’re able to switch between inward and outward focus, at appropriate times- for the appropriate amount of time – that benefit the most from their mindfulness practice.

    It’s also my experience, that those who come along for therapy – and successfully focus intently and inwardly during this time – and then easily switch to being mindfully in the present moment – are the ones who benefit the most from the therapeutic process. Much of the change-work needed, as a consequence of Analytical Hypnotherapy, happens either during the therapy session or later when asleep. We must be able to fully commit our attention to everyday life at all other times.

    Meditate from between 10 and 40 minutes every day (inwardly focused) and work at being fully aware in the present moment (outwardly focused) at all other times. Following this simple principle ensures we’re not being overly absorbed – contemplating thoughts and feelings, so we can get on with the serious business of living life fully. Meditation, combined with Therapy (be this Hypnotherapy or a more drawn-out type of intervention) helps us to build on our ability to remove internal conflict and become increasingly present moment focused. Live life to the full.

  • Thought Aware

    Even though we’re unable to stop the thinking process we can raise our awareness to WHAT we’re thinking

    When I look around and see happy people who have experienced adversity I think to myself, how do they do that? And the answer that has returned in the past has been that they must be capable of not thinking. This is of course impossible, so the sensible answer is, these people must be in control of what they’re thinking. And so the next question that comes to mind is, how are they in control of their thoughts?

    It’s true to say, we are what we think we are, and, therefore, we are our thoughts

    Only this morning I heard the comment: ‘Wow! It’s nearly June already!’ and my response was to say: ‘Yes and hasn’t it been a long winter,’ both a bit negative when you think of it. And so, in order to countermand these words, my next comment was . . . ‘And I’m looking forward to a lovely long summer.’

    When we consider that words are always preceded by thought – if sometimes by only a fraction of a second – we can know, that through gaining an increased awareness of our thoughts, we can alter our lives in extraordinary ways. If our tendency is to be a little negative sometimes, we must raise our awareness to our predominant thoughts, or be damned by our own minds.

    Mindfulness practice concerns raising our awareness to the nature of our thoughts

    The constant internal chatter of our minds often continues just beneath our full awareness. When we sit during meditation, we become increasingly aware, of how intrusive our thoughts can be on our point of focus. In this manner we become acutely aware of what we’re thinking from moment to moment. And it is this that has the effect of raising our general awareness to the nature of our thoughts.

    Simple really is powerful. The main problem is, we’re so often told to look for complicated solutions to, what can seem, complicated issues

    Because mindfulness practice is simple it can be overlooked or undervalued. To some extent we can pin this undervaluation on the western beliefs that if something cost’s nothing, or very little, it can’t be any good. Buddhists and other meditators seem willing to give their knowledge away for free, however, if you look long enough, you’ll see that the information given is far from free. Time and attention given to any subject automatically awards it great value. And think about that: Time and Attention given to any subject gives it great value.

    The one precious recourse we must give ourselves and our mindfulness practice is time

    Yes, it takes a few minutes of focused attention every day to raise awareness to our thoughts, and yet when we truly understand the power our thinking holds over our lives, we will willingly give this time to ourselves. Take notice of the simplest solutions, they are the ones with all the power.

  • Competitive Conversation

    If you’re one of those people who can pretty much get along with anyone you’re very fortunate. As for myself, getting along with others is something I’ve had to work on, and continue to monitor. Even so, every now and again, I’ll meet an individual who’ll manage to get under my skin.

    Now, because I take the time and energy to work at understanding people better, this has given me the added advantage, of understanding myself

    For example, a recent encounter has taught me a little more about my competitive nature (we’re all competitive to a greater or lesser degree) and helped me improve my listening skills. You may have experienced this yourself. Think about a time when you’ve been in conversation and the individual you’ve been talking to listens for a while but then leads the conversation around to their topic of interest. And if you should look to bring the conversation round to your topic of interest you’re practically ignored. Some have labelled this habit as being symptomatic of autism. I would prefer to call this Competitive Conversation. The reason for someone ignoring you and constantly dominating the conversation is simply due to their competitive nature. I recently met someone who does this to a pathological degree. And it annoyed me.

    Because it annoyed me, I was gifted with the understanding of how I can tend to do this due to my competitive nature

    I have since modified my behaviour and as a result improved my listening skills. I’ve needed to mindfully remind myself that I have nothing to prove and no reason to compete. I’ve needed, once again, to build my confidence. In respect to the individual who annoyed me, I suddenly realised, the reason he stopped listening, whenever I talked about myself, was because he couldn’t compete with what I was seeking to discuss. At first I thought he was trying to antagonise me, but as a result of thinking about it, I came to a better understanding.

    In conclusion, if you want to be a powerful listener, be mindful of how competitive your conversation might be. Be aware of how you might be unintentionally verbally bullying someone. Build your confidence sufficiently to help subdue your will. When there is no battle of wills you are the listener and become far wiser as a result.   

  • Brand New

    Imagine waking with a feeling that the day is brand new. I don’t mean just the normal superficial feeling that comes with the sun having set and then risen again. Or the feeling you get after a restful night’s sleep. No, when I wake in the morning, I want it to feel like everything has been reset. I want it to feel like there was no yesterday and indeed that there were no yesterdays prior to that. I also don’t want to feel any concern or anxiety about the future.

    Of course this is achieved when I’m neither thinking of the past or an imagined future and my mind is simply aware and present in the now moment

    Moment to moment to moment is where my mind must be. There are some interesting things that happen when I live like that. Let’s be sensible and recognise that it’s impossible to be in this place all the time, however, when I am, I see everything all for the first time.

    I notice things about people I’ve never seen before. Beautiful things that fascinate. I walk and see a horse chestnut tree, study its blossom, and realise it’s beauty like never before. Everything is brand new when my mind is absolutely present. Mindfulness (awareness) is something we must all be conscious of developing now.

  • Don’t Think This is Important?

    New shoes, now that’s important, isn’t it? Although have you worn out the old one’s yet? Perhaps they’re looking a bit tatty, and we do want to look our best, don’t we? So yes, new shoes, of course that’s important. And what about that new jacket, phone, furniture, house, flooring, decor, car, job, holiday, partner, neighbourhood etc. Are they important too?

    This post might initially be seen as an attempt to moralise; to tell you all about the path of righteousness; to tell you how you should or shouldn’t be living. It is not. However, it is an attempt to raise awareness to the issue of priorities. What are your priorities and are they best placed for ease of mind, happiness, and fulfillment?

    Many people are fortunate enough to come to an early, clear understanding of the importance that must be placed on mindfulness. This is to say they’ve been fortunate enough to have reached an understanding, well before too much of their lives, have been spent reaching out and grasping for what’s next. 

    We must of course plan. If we didn’t, nothing would be achieved. Nevertheless, there is a big difference between planning and continually wanting. Through our desire we consider what we want to happen, or experience next, and the mind then formulates a plan. Provided we then switch our attention back into the present moment, and have the mental fitness to predominantly remain there, all is well. 

    With this in mind, it’s surprising how the people we might consider to be ‘living the dream’ aren’t actually living it. Amongst others it was Gary Barlow, when talking about his past, who said how he wished he’d spent more time enjoying what was actually happening now, rather than thinking about what comes next.

    And so in response to my appeal, consider mindfulness. Right now it may not seem important and that’s because your mind . . . isn’t . . . ‘right now.’ Be completely aware of what’s happening now and realise for yourself, that unless your mind is predominantly in the present, you’re not actually fully alive. And if being fully alive in the present is uncomfortable, it’s your minds ability to be ‘elsewhere,’ that’s stopping you from making the necessary changes.

    Live your life to the fullest by learning how to improve your level of awareness. You’ll be surprised by how much time and effort it actually takes to improve this. Provided, of course, your priorities are correctly placed.

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  • Who’s Responsible?

    As obvious as it might sound we must always remember to place responsibility where it lies

    I’ve recently experienced a problem with my post and now find myself worrying as to whether future parcels and letters are going to reach me or not. In a quieter moment, I let this worry go, by recognising that the only responsibilities I have, is to ensure my address is clearly marked on the door, and that I’m either in when my mail is expected, or have made alternative arrangements for where it can be dropped off. Beyond this, I have no control over the situation whatsoever. If my mail doesn’t turn up, all I’m able to do is contact the carrier responsible for my parcels and make a claim for lost items. Not having experienced this before, I’m assuming they will now look for the lost item, and if not found, I will be reimbursed to the value of its contents.

    The point to gain is, worrying about anything that isn’t our responsibility, and consequently have no control over, is wasted energy

    Whilst wasting energy, on things that are neither our responsibility or under our control, we’re not getting on with the important business of fulfilling what is. Leave the job of delivering mail to the carrier and focus on what really matters: your responsibilities.

    It brings to mind the important business of ensuring we take proper responsibility for ourselves. An extreme example would be codependent relationships. I’ve recently heard the issue of codependence taken very lightly and even suggested as acceptable. Perhaps to some it is, however, the trouble with a codependent relationship, is its restrictive nature. It’s the old joke about the dying man who’d been in a codependent relationship all his married life and how, in the moment of his death, he saw someone else’s life pass before his eyes. Those within abusive relationships don’t often see it until it’s too late.

    And so, once again, be sure to focus on bringing your own mind under your own control (if you don’t someone else will) and only concern yourself with what you’re responsible for. And if you’re in the business of delivering mail, surely, it’s a specialty of yours, to know where the mail should be going? Take care, take responsibility, and focus on what your specialty is, and all will be well.

  • The Grey Market

    Image by amh1988
    Your brain is a very delicate instrument that may not have been handle with care in the past, ensure it’s treated with respect now

    As with all things on the market today there’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. When it comes to mental health, one of the first things to be aware of, is the tendency for the mind to continue with familiar themes. What the mind knows and has become accustomed to will be the general theme pursued. To put it bluntly, if all you’ve ever known is an amateurish attitude to your wellbeing, then that’s unfortunately the very thing you will seek.

    To a greater or lesser extent everything is grey market. Buying a product from those who manufactured it is very rare. When visiting a therapist you’re not actually meeting the creator of the treatments

    So with this in mind, what we must look for, are the signs that identify the product or service, to have originally come from the genuine source. We must look to ensure corners aren’t being cut and that professional standards are being met. You cannot expect to feel better, through pandering to the minds whim, of pursuing the amateurish treatment it might have become accustomed to. Get to meet the genuine article and show your mind the respect it deserves.

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  • Remove the cancer of negativity

    Negativity
    Think about dreams. Think about their symbolic nature. More than symbolic, we could even go as far as saying our dreams, are metaphorical

    Dreams are the language of the unconscious. Taking this one step further, what other methods of communication does the unconscious utilise? Our unintentional, or unconscious behaviour, is of course a form of communication to others. So what about the unconscious communication our mind uses, along with dreams, to speak directly to our consciousness? It’s important to consider the symbolic, metaphorical nature, of unconscious communication.

    Gilbert Ryle condescendingly referred to René Descartes‘ concept of mind-body dualism as: “The Ghost In The Machine.” It’s also certainly clear to me, no duality exists between body and mind, hence the term ‘bodymind’ found elsewhere, in this blog. As such, when we look closely at this inseparable and complex link, we can safely say, the unconscious communicates in any way it possibly can.

    When we see dis-ease as a clear communication from the bodymind, we’re on the right track to taking full control, of our lives. What do you imagine – with everything said so far – is the bodymind looking to communicate, through the dis-ease of cancer? What metaphorical meaning can we attribute to a cell that won’t die; a cell that refuses to stop replicating itself? Can we consider this cells refusal to die, a metaphor, for not letting go? You bet we can.

    It’s important we understand the necessity in letting go of negativity. Repetitive, negative thoughts and memories, are the product of a mind that refuses to let go. We must understand the message our bodymind sends us. Cancer is a clear message: Let go of the negatives from the past

    Some might say forgiveness is the tool needed for this letting go. I say forget forgiveness, we now have better tools, at our disposal. When we truly let go of the past, forgiveness becomes irrelevant. When we’re able to fully and completely move on, through dropping the past – as you’d drop a piece of rotten wood – we free ourselves of a negative future. That’s right, I repeat: We free ourselves of a negative future.

    Remove the cancer of negativity
    New Growth once we remove the cancer of negativity

    I can teach you how to use tools that utterly dispose of the self-destructive negatives from your past. Learn more here.

  • Defend Yourself or Become a Victim

    Image by flutie8211
    If you don’t have the means to defend yourself you will fall to a greater power

    This might sound a little harsh however it’s how the system works. We only need consider the universe we live in to understand this. It’s violent in places. As we’ve all recently experienced, if we’ve not built up a defence against an attacker, it will beat us. Because we understand this we’ve created vaccines and antibiotics. In terms of recent developments, and on a much larger scale, we have nuclear defence. This isn’t necessarily defence enough against a madman yet it might give such an individual pause for thought. This pause might give us time to strike.

    In a fist fight it’s always wise to get the first punch in, especially when fighting a bully. If you don’t you’ll get a black eye or worse

    History is no doubt going to show us the folly of our hesitancy. Removing the risk of viruses and diseases, prevention in other words, will always be favourable to fighting it once established. Of course it’s easy for me, sitting here behind a computer being the voice of reason, yet I feel acknowledging reality, helps us to gain the strength to accept where we’re going wrong. It’s a mistake to assume that a dictator, virus or disease, has any compassion or concerns for anything other than itself. Will we ever learn?