Practising Mindfulness Latest Posts

  • Mindful Resilience

    Image (The Kelpies) by wenzlerdesign
    Resilience is helped by optimistic, forward thinking, and our mindful awareness

    Consciousness brings with it the awareness of the often harrowing aspects of life on earth. In contrast to this, I woke this morning, thinking about how a new day was another golden opportunity to eat cake. Even if I don’t eat cake today just thinking about it can be enough. And it’s this kind of humour and simplistic attitude to life that can get us through.

    In order to relay this to you I must of course be aware of my thoughts

    Whilst meditating this morning my mind drifted to uncomfortable thoughts. The thoughts weren’t even about an experience I’d had but concerned those of someone else. Even so, I felt sad and troubled by them, and this goes to show just how powerful our thoughts can be. It’s the awareness of this that’s important, as it awards us the understanding of how we’re able to make improvements to our lives, simply through how we think.

    Remembering the past is important as it gives us opportunity to understand ourselves

    We are the sum total of our beliefs. Our beliefs are formed from everything felt, seen, heard and experienced by us during our lives. In particular our early life. And it doesn’t take much to realise that not all of them are going to be useful and beneficial. As such, reviewing the past, to understand how our beliefs were formed and how they continue to influence us, holds great power. This remembering and evaluating enables us to question and change ourselves into who we want to be. We can develop beyond our beliefs and how they’ve previously led us. We can also develop greater acceptance and love of who we are.

    Bringing the mind predominantly back into the present assists us in our resilience

    It’s how we cope isn’t it? Getting on with living, with our minds engaged in the system, is what it’s all about. The pleasures and the pains of life are its very purpose. The purpose of life is life itself, so let’s get on with it, constantly reminding ourselves of how to be mindfully resilient, enjoying the occasional slice of cake.

  • Perseverance

    Image by Linnaea_Mallette
    Whatever it is you want, regardless of knock-backs, difficulties or circumstances, perseverance is the quality always required in order to succeed

    We might ask the deeper question: what is required for us to have perseverance? Is this a quality some just naturally have or is it something acquired? I feel there is a certain recipe that will help us here.

    Firstly we must have passion. We must want the desired outcome passionately. Secondly, we must be able to keep the mind present and focused, on the desired outcome. Dwelling on past failures is the fire which turns perseverance to ashes. It really is a matter of ensuring our improvement isn’t hampered with thoughts of past performance. Be it a frame of snooker, a game of tennis, or gaining a qualification, dwelling on the last frame, game or test, will distract from the mater in hand: Winning.

    We humans love to win. We know that in order to win we must be better than all the rest. Yes we need natural talent, nevertheless, no matter how much natural talent we posses, believing we can simply win without perseverance and practice, leads to disappointment. We have to continually put the past where it belongs and keep going, on and on, regardless of how we might feel, or whatever circumstances we might be facing. This is perseverance.

    Unless dealt with, limiting aspects of the past can be an echo, that never fades

    Recognizing how the past can unconsciously influence the present is most certainly a skill we can learn. Briefly examining limiting behaviour is key. We must ask: how do I continue to replicate mistakes of the past? As odd as it might sound, understanding how we failed at our goals in the past, can help us to eliminate unconscious limitations.

    The unconscious mind will persevere in whatever direction it is focused. We must ensure it is correctly focused. Our beliefs come into play here and perseverance is required if we’re to question and change them. Once the past is dealt with, limiting beliefs removed and unfinished business concluded, we’re better able to direct the energy of our perseverance with the correct focus: Upward and onward.

    The first step is mental fitness learn how to improve this here.

  • Peaceful Rage

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    I wake up in the morning, consider, and I feel rage

    Silence. I consider the present moment and realise there is nothing to say. Only silence will calm this torrent of rage I feel. The power required to remain silent is the very power that will calm me. I will not scorn or laugh or shout. I will simply breath out red mist. I’m unable to criticise. I’m far too aware for that. This means I see you. I see you. Raise your awareness and fend off the behaviour I’ve considered. Shush.

    We must use its energy constructively

    This energy we feel must be focused and centered on where it will be of positive value to ourselves and others. When it is time to talk, make the words meaningful, and light. Don’t be as the violent journalists, we must only teach how to be, rather than how not. We must feel like we have a choice and the consequences of our choices explained. Harm no one and find a way to make your life as loving as possible. Feel the rage and focus its energy on finding a peaceful solution. Thinking about this helps us realise it will only ever be the way. We can never gain peace through violent use of our rage.

  • Aware of the Freak

    Image by tskirde
    Another interesting paradox is how the need for control actually hinders meditation and mindful awareness

    I’m talking about the need for control over events and others. We’ve all heard the expression: control freak. Quiet an unpleasant terminology when we think of it. No one likes being called a freak, and yet it could be said, there’s a degree of this in all of us. It’s that need to know what’s going to happen next and the need to be in control of this. One of the problems with this need is how it can take so much of the fun out of life. The unexpected and unforeseen are often the occasions where life takes its most interesting turns. And when we feel the need to be in command and control of those people around us, this restricts the controller as much as the victim. If the controlling could see how restrictive their behaviour was, they would potentially gain the awareness needed, to make the necessary modifications.

    The quandary, the control freak finds themself in, is how the obsessive need for control, is the very mechanism that keeps the mind in constant turmoil. It’s the degree of discomfort and fear they feel that hinders the letting go required for awareness of thought to begin. We might say that focusing the mind single pointedly, during meditation, (let’s say the end of the nose) takes control. Perhaps it does, however, I would argue, that the controlling mind, finds conflict here, due to the belief constant thought and analysis, equals control.

    By single pointedly focusing, we’re seeking to raise awareness of our thought processes, through becoming aware, of something physical. A challenging task for someone who needs constant thinking and analysis to alleviate fear. A powerful block to meditation.

    By seeking greater awareness we uncover the illusions driving our fear

    No matter how much the controlling individual is advised to tackle the fear driving their compulsion, they persist. They persist until they see the illusion. We must consider where the need for control stems: childhood. The need for control is potentially a coping mechanism learnt in childhood. The fear was real back then and now has drifted into the illusory. The controlling must learn a better way of managing fear. And the greatest paradox is how mediation and mindfulness holds the key.

  • Here and Gone

    Death can be such a shock. It can be hard to accept that a person is no longer here

    This is, of course, especially the case if we were close to the person who has died. How can it be that someone simply ceases to exist, that they’ve gone, and we will never again experience their presence? It can seem unbelievable and so hard to accept. There is an empty space there now that can never be filled.

    Take a moment to contemplate the word gone and how it makes you feel

    It’s the finality of the word, is it not? It’s the finality of death. How can it be that death is so final? Why do we struggle so much with this ending of life? They’re such extreme opposites, are they not? Alive/Dead. Aware/Unaware.

    It’s said that the main reason for our suffering in life is our attachment to impermanent things. And we humans are most certainly impermanent. Our awareness of this goes some way to explain our need to leave something of ourselves behind after we’ve gone. Be this our DNA or a statue to mark our achievements whilst we were alive. This is important to most, but not all.

    Professor Brian Cox recently commented on how he always smiles when thinking about the eventual death of the universe and the nonsense of our attempts to immortalize people with things like statues or history books.

    When our attachment to the impermanent fades we begin to accept the absolute necessity of endings

    Why is it necessary, and how do we lose our attachment? Whether we like it or not, nature dictates the need for opposites. It’s deeply enshrined within the laws under which the universe operates. There is on, and there is off. When we are alive, the light is switched on, and when we die, it is off. We could say: the light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long, and yet, this is not always the case.

    A long life is never certain. I believe we can sometimes influence the odds slightly, but that’s about all. Ultimately, if we stay attached to the life that was, we will struggle to accept someone’s passing. If we create an imagined future of what the dead could have achieved and attach ourselves to this, we will struggle. An imagined future is an illusion. They lived, and we must find a way to be thankful for that.

    You may choose to believe that the light can be turned on again in some other place or form or time

    Does this belief have value? I feel that it can be very comforting to believe that our loved ones go on in some way after their death. They have a soul that has permanence.

    It has been noted that when we look deeply at matter, what we see is that it mainly contains information. I wonder if it’s useful to believe that information has permanence and that even after the death of this universe, the information it contains will continue to exist in some form or another. It’s hard to believe that it will all be lost forever, is it not?

    In memory of Pete Cawthorne 1963 – 2021

  • Mindful Acceptance

    Image by Pedro-Marquez-Salinas

    Paradoxically, it’s so often the case, that our emotional ills are the result of wanting to alter a mood or feeling. We might feel down and sad – or we might be at a loss to pin any kind of description on how we feel – yet what we do know is, we’d rather feel different. We want to feel happy, calm and at ease with ourselves, of course we do. However, the more we want to change our mood, the more it seems to persist. In fact, our discomfort only raises our awareness of just how miserable we feel. 

    We all know the most common and easy path to changing how we feel, yet food, alcohol or whatever our particular poison, will never be the wholesome solution 

    There’s no doubt that opening a bottle of wine has become one of the accepted solutions. I’ve certainly been in that place, and only stopped when the excess acid in my stomach started to feel like a knife wound. For me, choices became limited. I knew my lifestyle was harming me. As with the majority, my reasons for drinking, were related to powerlessness. I felt powerless to change, not only in how I felt, but also with the situation I’d found myself in.

    It may seem odd to state that alcohol awards us power, yet this is certainly how it feels at the time. Alcohol alters our consciousness, emboldens us, and helps us feel more confident; reducing our inhibitions. Get too far into that bottle of wine though (or the second or third), and rationality starts to go out the window. Our consciousness becomes so distorted we begin to lose our critical faculties. Never a good place to be. 

    Let’s compare this to a crisp winter’s morning. In the cold light of day we say: “never again” we understand the illusion

    We can easily understand why we might eat and drink to excess. After all, who wants to feel miserable? We go with the flow and what becomes the accepted norm is simply that: the accepted norm. The wholesome answer is very unlike the accepted norm, and as such, feels like a challenge. And indeed it is, yet who said this was going to be easy? If that’s what you’re being told, you’re being lied to. 

    As long as we need to be like everyone else the swim upriver will be hard. It’s only when we move into the quieter, calmer waters of solace, do we accept

    If we’re going to learn how to feel happier, with less external stimuli, there is a certain mindset we must adopt. When we know how to meditate daily, there comes a point, when we begin to recognise the power of acceptance. 

    Our moods are there for good reason 

    Feeling unhappy may well be the minds attempt to get us to stop. At times the mind needs reflection. The shifts in mood we experience are there for good reason and we must acknowledge this. Seeking to change ourselves through the accepted norms only adds to our burden. Whereas a brief period of reflection, can lead us to an acceptance that whatever it is we’re feeling, it’s okay to feel it. You’re okay. Recognise the illusions that have become the accepted norms.

    Learn to Meditate.

  • Truth, Lies and Whether it Actually Matters

    Now I can only believe it if I see it with my own two eyes, and even then it will only be my truth, and no one else’s

    I made a mistake this morning, I decided to read the news. I allowed my brain to be infected by the nonsense and I also allowed it to upset me. It was for my partner to make me aware of my horrible negativity. Once again my downcast-destructive side came to the fore and it was driven by the media. Not truth, you understand, but the media. And it really is the case that you cannot believe a word they say. In this respect there is no point in reading it. Their desperate need for my attention creates their need to fantasise. Propaganda and nonsense.

    Again and again I make the mistake of allowing my attention to wander off to the places where truth and lies intermingle. And now I’m in a state of constant confusion and unbelieving

    Because of this I’m now asking if truth or lies actually matter. Can we really ever distinguish between the two? I feel the reality is, truth can only ever be something that occurs within the mind, of the believer. All truth is subjective. We must believe it before it becomes true and even then it is only a belief. It is only our belief. Just because we believe something doesn’t mean it’s true for anybody else. Often it can prove to be completely the opposite. Do you believe, for example, that sexual abuse of our children is at epidemic proportions? Do you believe that there are millions of podophiles amongst us?

    I suppose it matters that we make children aware of the dangers. Whether we want to believe it or not there is a dark side to human nature. Evidence speaks the truth. A child has no hope of protecting himself or herself if there’s no awareness of the dangers. And yet this doesn’t mean that we have to read about it every day. It doesn’t mean we must fix our attention on this every day. And we must accept all the darkness that’s possible, however unpalatable, we might find it.

    I find myself not wanting to believe the despicable nature of my fellow human beings, but I must be cautious of what dangers, there are in denial.

    If I choose to ignore the unpleasant what will that make me? Happy, or just as ignorant and innocent as the vulnerable child. Awareness enlightens us sufficiently so we may protect ourselves. Ignorance IS the darkness. There is such danger in this confusion between truth and lies. In time, we will simply fail to see, and how will the blind ever protect themselves?

  • Stimulation

    Image by Pexels
    The need for stimulation is fine and creating the need for it’s opposite is also fine

    Think of a child constantly seeking stimulation. When a child is stimulated, it’s often because a parent, carer or teacher, is being attentive to them. They’re being entertained, educated and played with. When the child is stimulated in this way the result is happiness, excitement and growth. Ultimately, and for obvious reasons, we can become totally addicted to this.

    On a personal level the later part of my childhood was filled with the kind of stimulation fear brings: chaos

    Interestingly enough I feel that as a result of this chaos my mind often craved calm. The only problem with calm is it’s seeming lack of stimulus. Children that are unfamiliar with calm, only knowing chaos, become very accustomed to the need for stimulation. We can end up conflicted, wondering about the exhaustion we often feel, and why we can’t seem to turn of our need for constant stimulus.

    Wanting is driven by our addiction and craving for stimulation

    It harks back to childhood and the way in which we were stimulated then. The positive of this was experienced by lucky children who where encouraged to find stimulation through creativeness. We can easily recognise those individuals, especially those who continue to be creative all their lives. Caution is advised though, because craving the kind of stimulation creativeness brings, does engender a degree of danger. However, the survivors of this danger, are those who’re able to find balance and a calmness of mind inbetween their creativeness. Sting would be a fine example.

    And so we can experience happiness, growth and contentment if we have a healthy balance between our need for stimulation, and our need for calm. Learning to meditate, in order to find improved mindfulness, is the easiest way to begin finding this kind of balance. The alternative, could well be a lifetime seeking to understand the conflict, caused by our addiction.

  • Aware of Awareness

    Image by Kaserei
    There is no intelligence involved in being aware and so in this respect we’re all over qualified

    It came about, not so long ago, that I moved to a quiet part of the country. I can’t even claim that this was any kind of conscious decision, I just knew that change was needed, as my life had come to an end. My business was concluded; time to run.

    It’s purely an observation to say, when time moves slower in certain parts of the country, or whole countries and cultures for that matter, those who have lived faster lives by comparison will feel over qualified

    So many of us are driven by our intellect and beliefs in success, and when we’re told to slow down and distance ourselves from the methods employed by others, it proves difficult. It’s the city banker or politician who meets the Buddhist monk. Never the twain shall meet. And the question is: how do we create a culture of awareness?

    Perhaps it helps to separate the monk from mindfulness and the guru from awareness

    I feel this is easily achieved. In the same way the over qualified, who move to quieter parts of the country, must learn to stoically compartmentalise, we can separate what we normally associate with meditation, mindfulness and awareness. In exactly the way mindfulness teaches us to become aware of our thoughts, we can question any of those old associations.

    It’s a hindrance for me to think about how others want to run their business. Instead I understand my responsibilities and never step beyond this

    It isn’t me that loses out through my silence. After all, as the wise man said: “those who know don’t talk.” What I know of human nature is, if a job has been done a certain way for a long time, who am I, or any outsider, to question those methods. And so we no longer need the guru or the monk to teach us how to be aware. Those times are gone. Just remove your preconceived ideas, close your eyes, notice the chair beneath your body, your feet on the floor, and pay attention to your breathing – your point of focus. Notice your thoughts, become aware, and bring your mind back to point of focus, once again. Remove your intellect. Emigrate to a quieter country. You are aware.

  • The Restless Horses

    It has everything to do with awareness of mind

    We might think it’s a secret, or what only the few seem to possess, yet there really is something so simple, and so beautiful, about being aware of your state of mind. It’s the difference that makes the difference.

    When we can answer these next questions we start to understand: From moment to moment what am I thinking? What is my mind seeking?

    When meditating, I sense the thoughts within my mind, as being similar, to a paddock full of wild horses. These horses are noisy and restless. They’re stirring up the dust; it’s arid within the confines of the paddock. They want to escape to an imagined lush green land. They want the satisfaction this would bring. They’re sweating and the whites of their eyes are showing. Their ears are back; focusing only on their fear and agitation. They long to escape.

    The similarity is this restless craving to satisfy their need. My mind craves the escape of thought. It wants to escape its confines

    When the mind is constantly stimulated and engaged it’s happily satisfying its addiction. Like the alcoholic taking the drink, or the sugar addict biting into the chocolate bar – satisfied and happy – if just for a moment. The nature of thought is no different. It becomes addicted to movement, thoughts, and stimulation. If never slowed and calmed it remains as the restless horses. The restless horses have become fearful of their confinement.

    The paradox is, our minds, even though busy and stimulated, are no less restricted. As with any addiction, it serves to distract us, from the real issue

    Think of overeating. When we’re eating we’re happily enjoying the pleasure of satisfying a need. We do this to excess, when the pleasure we gain from eating, has become greater than our conscious awareness. When we’re overeating, or eating the wrong things, we’ve lost conscious control. We’re simply indulging in the pleasure and distraction we gain; we’re mindlessly bolting from the paddock to get at the lush green grass. Feelings of hunger have negative associations to food addicts. They’re blindly satisfying a need with no thought as to why.

    Medicine for your mind    

    Firstly we must imagine that we’ve employed the services of a horse whisperer. We invite him into the paddock and watch, mesmerised as he calms the neighing, crazed wild horses. Once calmed, something magical happens. The horse whisperer is able to open the gate and gently lead the horses out. Once there they’re able to eat from the lush pasture all around. There’s no rush, there’s no wildness in their eyes, anymore. Their ears are forward and with a gentle swish of the tail they stop to stare. Once calm, there’s more for all of us to see, and explore.

    Consider for a moment what the horse whisperer has achieved

    How did he calm them? He calmed them by making them aware. He took the wild panic away through showing them what it was to be calm. He moved slowly and gently amongst them. He lay a calming hand on their manes. He showed them how safe it was inside the paddock. Once they understood, there was no rush to escape; no panic, fuelled by one another. He calmed the horses sufficiently for them to become aware.

    Slow now, be aware of the nature, of your mind

    Notice how it craves to escape. Notice. Where is it seeking to escape to? Away from itself perhaps? Away into thoughts of the past, future or fantasy? How is it we imagine these thoughts are richer than now? Is the alcoholic seeking to escape from himself? Is the food addict doing the same? Our minds have learnt to crave this wild escape; this escape from ourselves. We’ve become addicted to how it feels. 

    Why are meditators happier? They’re happier because they’ve regained awareness of themselves in the present moment. Imagine how it would feel to calmly explore the lush green, present-moment-pastures, the craving for mindlessness is keeping us from. Calm and still our minds will be satisfied.