Practising Mindfulness Latest Posts

Contact: Philip@practisingmindfulness.co.uk

  • Just Take a Breath

    You’re worried about there being not enough. Just take a breath and think about what would happen if you discovered there wasn’t enough. Would the world stop turning? Does your life end? What is the worst thing that can happen? Does it really matter?

    Take your mind beyond the fear

    I often do this; take my mind beyond the thing I fear. I then become calm and rational. Instead of this, if we’re stuck within the fear (of there not being enough) we grasp and grab. We become glutinous. We behave in a way that is self-centered and mean.

    Change gluttony to greed

    In contrast greed is okay because this is based on The Rule of Enrichment, (see Create Beautiful Partnerships page 62) a useful rule to understand and embrace. We want more of what we enjoy and why shouldn’t we? In this respect, consider how the world would be if we focused more on our need for love. The more love we give the more we gain.

    When we freely give of our love we can be greedy in how much we receive

    And so move your mind forward, beyond the thing you fear, and realise the danger of gluttony. Now remember: How would the world be if we greedily focused on giving more love?

  • Protected: Doubt: A Bigger Monster Than You Might Think

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  • A Return to Simpler Times

    At one end of the scale we can think about the old expression: “to treat with kid gloves” as we look at the difficulties parents are facing. When parents seek to lay down any kind of rules, guidelines or boundaries for their children, they can struggle with how to do this without the accusations of being restrictive, or inconsiderate of special needs. And so, is it far better to be somewhere in the middle of the scale? Here, we can show a child proper boundaries; they’ll love you all the more for it.

    When reading the news and views of ordinary people I gain a sense of how complicated everything seems to have got. The conversations range from the complex diagnostics of mental conditions to the vast array of shared opinions – we all have something to get off our chest. These few words included.

    I make no apologies for my feelings and beliefs about coming from simpler times

    When I think about my childhood, and in particular the classroom, every single child was different with their own personal struggles. It was called growing pains. Every child had special needs and yet it was grouped together and termed childhood. At every stage of our lives we will face difficulties and challenges. Without simple rules, boundaries and guidelines to help us, we can get lost in our confusion.

    This is not to say that by returning to simpler principles we should include the brutality of the past

    One simple question we must constantly ask ourselves is this: Is the balance between love and fear proportionate? In this respect, we must never make the mistake of assuming that complicated diagnostics – for the condition of childhood – are based on love. There is a strong likelihood they’re based on the opposite. 

    For the need of intellectuals to prove their worth, can it be a fear based thing, or is it simply the willfulness and one upmanship of their competitive nature? 

    Try and hold a conversation with anyone and notice the constant to-and-fro of power. You’ll say one thing, only for this, in the next breath of conversation, to be bettered or dismissed. As I’ve aged I’ve become quieter, not because I have nothing to say, but because I now see the pointlessness of opinion. I’m also very tired of frightened, competitive, men.

    In this respect I’ve notice the ‘warriors’ locking up their women, fearing their love will weaken them. It is this fear that causes them to need possession and ownership. When this is your need, you must fight as a warrior, and die early losing the only thing you’ve ever truly owned. To fear love is to be locked into this vicious cycle of madness. Can we return to simpler principles without the brutality of the past?

    Consider simplifying your life – consider mindfulness.

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  • Realistic Power of Mindfulness

    Over recent times much has been written about mindfulness and the art of meditation. From changing brain waves, to the clairvoyance of Kadampa Buddhism, it’s all been covered. So, with this in mind, what follows is a brief and realistic assessment of what you can expect from improved mindfulness achieved through regular meditation.

    • An increasing sense of control over impulsive behaviour.

    It’s so often the case that excessive consumption (of anything) is simply due to an unthinking attitude. As a consequence of training the mind to remain predominantly present – in the now moment – we gain greater control over the cravings associated with excess. Often it’s placing our thoughts into an imagined future, in an uncontrolled manner, that causes us to generate desire.

    • Increased freedom from the anxiety associated with worry.

    Worry, in its simplest form, is thinking about a future event and applying a negative outcome. Once again, when we’re able to distance our thinking from an imagined future, we free ourselves from worry.

    • Increased awareness of the nature of thought.

    Meditation is the study of mind. This definition is one of the reasons for dismissing the notion that meditation is boring. Curiosity is the cure to boredom. Through raising awareness of our thoughts we begin the process of improving our self-talk. It’s how we speak to ourselves that determines much of our outlook and experiences of life.

    I am what I think and, therefore, I am my thoughts – GOLD Counselling  

    • An increasing sense of calm and peace of mind.

    Calmness is achieved through quieting the mind. The ability to relax the bodymind comes with time and practice. The first step is to form the good habit of meditating daily. Once this is achieved we can then slowly and gently raise our awareness to what might be troubling us. Successful meditation is when we’re then able to gently allow these thoughts to drift through the mind, and away, to be replaced with an alternative focus.

    • Improved focus and clarity of mind.

    We’ve all experienced the cloudy muddled thinking that comes with stressful modern living. We want everything, and we’ve earned this right, however, taking the time to calm and quieten the mind, awards us the power of focused clarity. 

    • Altered perception of time.

    As any good mechanic will tell you, keeping a car’s engine in good order doesn’t take time, it saves time. As such, resting the mind if only for ten minutes a day, during our waking hours, helps us to begin the process of fully engaging with all that we do. Releasing ourselves from the burden – of being addicted to mental stimulation – awards us the prize of more time. The greater control we have over our minds, the better able we are, at managing our time.

    So there we are, realistic goals, yet powerful ones, all the same.

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  • The Long Game Plan

    When we compare the kind of mindset it takes to be successful, against that of successful failure (we only ever succeed at failing), we reduce the margin for error.

    People who regularly achieve success in their personal and business lives do so through their ability to plan. There are short-term, medium-term, and long-term plans. Playing the long game is all about long-term plans.

    Think of what it takes to knit a jumper. The first thing we must do is work to a plan. We have the body of the jumper, front and back, we then have the sleeves and the neck. All in all, there are five elements. When knitting the separate parts to our jumper, it does take some imaginative skill to see it as a complete garment.

    One thing to consider at this point is, we don’t actually need to be able to see the complete garment in our minds eye, all we need is a plan that will eventually bring all the parts together

    It’s a little like modern airliners that are made in different factories in different parts of the world. At some point in the future, all the separate parts are brought together and assembled to make a complete plane.

    The person making a wing, doesn’t need concern himself with how the plane will look once completed. Neither does he need to know how to build the engine. His job is to construct the wing, and that’s it.

    In the same respect, when it comes to business or personal lives, for that matter, we must take each element and focus on them individually for the greatest success.

    Compartmentalization is the ability to focus on one aspect of the plan, to the exclusion of all other aspects, until it comes to the final assembly.

    Keeping our minds in the present moment means we lose sight of the outcome of our long-term plans

    There is a benefit to this in respect of us breaking things down into their component elements; being in the moment means we focus on that single element at that moment in time.

    When working in this manner, the day to day, or moment to moment elements of any long-term plan may seem trivial and insignificant. When the results of each day are fairly small, compared to the eventual outcome, we can become disheartened.

    Even though this is the case, we must be cautious with how much time we spend with our minds in places other than the present moment.

    The long-term goal, as with our jumper or plane, is for all the individual elements to finally come together. If we distract ourselves too much with this aim, we may fail. Especially if the long-term plan is something that covers a good number of years.

    So to sum up. When there are many elements, long-term goals must be planned and executed separately. By keeping our minds in the now moment, once a plan has been drawn up, we ensure each element is completed to the best of our abilities. Spending too much time, envisioning how things will look at the end of the term, can be disheartening and counterproductive.

    Personal development can be seen as an important first element to any plan

    Be it improvements needed in our personal lives or our business lives, understanding how best to use our time and attention means greater success all round. Ultimately, the clearer the plan and the time span decided for it, the more efficiently we use our valuable time.   

  • A Peaceful Journey Now

    “Those who know don’t talk, those who talk don’t know. Close your mouth, block off your senses, blunt your sharpness, untie your knots, soften your glare, settle your dust. This is the primal identity. Be like the Tao. It can’t be approached or withdrawn from, benefited or harmed, honoured or brought into disgrace. it gives itself up continually. That is why it endures.” – Lao Tzu

    Take some time to read and digest my analysis of this ancient wisdom. Later, the text in the headings, is to be learnt by heart. In this way, you’ll create a sense of safety and security, as you return to it, each time, you meditate.

    Those who know don’t talk . . .

    We become silent once we understand how forming and expressing opinions trap us. The beliefs our opinions are based on may be outdated and incorrect. If we form and verbalize them we compound them. Silence starts the process of freeing the mind.

    Those who talk don’t know . . .

    Actions speak louder than words. Our behaviour sets example and this will always be the most effective means of influencing others. Commanding the ear is one of the most challenging things we can attempt. It is rare that we are heard. We talk until we understand.

    Close your mouth . . .

    Become accustomed to silence.

    Block off your senses . . .

    Close your senses to those things and people that disrupt your peaceful state of mind. This includes the ramblings of the media; their judgmental and childish opinions on all things. The world begins to change according to your state of mind alone. Filling it with the opinions, hatred, propaganda, fear and willful mind games of the media, has no value and serves no purpose.

    Blunt your sharpness . . .

    A sharp knife is useful when preparing a meal. A mind that is overly excited or overstressed is running beyond it’s design capabilities. Let the knife do the cutting. Calm yourself, learn patience, breathe deeply and approach everything in a relaxed, mindful manner.

    Untie your knots . . .

    Consider the amount of conflict in your life. A knot is a sticking point. If you’re uncertain about something, cease thinking about it. Better still, remove it from your life, entirely. Worry and repetitive thinking is pointless. You didn’t ask to be born and yet you are here. It was the pleasure of others that created you. Therefore, it is right and proper that you should seek to enjoy every moment of your life, free from knots and confusion.

    Soften your glare . . .

    Your eyes are beautiful. Avert your eyes from what upsets you. Gently look upon those things that make you smile and bring you pleasure. Never look upon things in judgment. You have no right to make a judgement with a harsh look, just as no other, has the right to judge you. Looking harshly, we fail to see the beauty, that surrounds us.

    Settle your dust . . .

    Walk slowly and calmly among the people. Never raise a storm, always speak in soft and gentle tones. Anger and frustration, at those things we have no control over, only unsettles us from our peaceful path.

    This is the primal identity . . .

    All of the above resides within us. Imagine what happens to us when we start to believe that love is what we are.

    Be like the Tao . . .

    Adopt and follow beautiful, useful philosophies, and beliefs.

    It can’t be approached or withdrawn from . . .

    There is no need for us to seek something we already possess, all we need do, is raise our awareness to our true nature. Once we find this, it becomes impossible, to ignore.

    Benefited or harmed . . .

    Nothing can be added to an ingredient that is already perfect. It is impossible to harm something untouchable. You either know it or you don’t. It is what you are.

    Honoured or brought into disgrace . . .

    Again something that is untouchable has this neutrality. We cannot honour or disgrace something that is free of want. It just is.

    It gives itself up continually . . .

    We only know what we have once we give it away. When we recognise something there is a continuation. A river must keep flowing, because without this flow, it becomes a stagnant pool. We must accept that the things we give away become self-perpetuating.

    That is why it endures . . .

    What remains after we are gone are the things we freely gave away. Never the physical, but the kind words, the gentle consideration to others, the love and compassion. Generation after generation, will be affected by your actions and words, forever. As the Tao, Love endures.

  • Protected: Free Your Mind With Love

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  • Protected: When all else fails play the love card

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  • Just Be Gentle

    When you hold someone today, do it gently. In your everyday activities make a point, today, of being gentle in all you do. When placing a cup down on a surface, do it so gentle, that it barely makes a sound. When you speak, make the tones quiet, slow and soft.

    In everything you touch today do it mindfully and gently

    I believe you’ll be surprised by the results. There really isn’t enough gentleness in the world right now. So if we make it a good habit to treat each other gently and to be gentle in everything we do, it starts to take hold, and becomes our reality. We become gentle in turn. We become gentle with ourselves. After all, it is to ourselves that we hand out the harshest critique and instigate the cruelest of punishments.

    A welder or a blacksmith will tell you, it’s only by applying just the right amount of energy, do we get the desired results

    Never mistake gentleness with weakness. It takes great strength to respond to anger with gentle reasoning. And it is this that ultimately gets the best results; lasting change. Show your enemies how to love and how to use the power of gentleness, and in time, it will become their reality also. Just be gentle.

  • What You Need

    The mind will always provide what you want, and yet, what exactly do you want?

    There’s something very special about human intelligence. There are a lot of things that we don’t fully understand about compassion and our ability to read others and their wants.

    Many years ago, when I first started out as a Hypnotherapist, clients would often send me thank you cards. So much so, that in my waiting room, I started to struggle for space on top of filing cabinets etc. As I reflect on that time, it’s possible to understand why; it was something I needed. Not on a level fully recognised by me you understand, it was a message I was sending out, unconsciously. My clients actually wanted me to succeed and felt the need to encourage me.

    In what I’ve just stated I once again find myself facing one of the beautiful ironies of life

    As a Therapist, I’m in the business of helping people. In this respect surely it’s not for my clients to be helping me? But of course any interaction between humans, is going to be interlaced, with the unexpected. And the relationship between client and therapist can be an extremely complicated one (less so for the Therapist). That said, we must never underestimate the capacity we humans have, for showing love to one another, in unexpected ways.

    It’s a very strange thing to assert, that even if this is only in our imagination, the mind will always provide what we want

    Much of the communication between us humans is done at an unconscious level. And it all gets very interesting when we realise that the mind always provides what we want, even if this, is something unpleasant. If what we believe, about our fellow man for example, has been built on hatred, anger and intolerance, then this is exactly what we will receive. The mind will provide exactly that. And what we want, from moment to moment, is confirmation, of what we believe.

    If you want a beautiful life, the trick, is to simply believe in the possibility and how to find it

    At a very basic level we humans don’t need a great deal to survive. Surviving and thriving can be two very different things though. For example is a thriving life achieved simply through our needs being fully understood and met? It’s important to remember, we all have the same basic needs, but very different wants. One person can very well believe they’re thriving with only their basic needs met. For others thriving means something very different. Perhaps these are the people the lottery fund is dependent upon. People who are always found wanting.

    The advice to acknowledge, must be to seek out love, and the need to understand it

    A common misunderstanding is that love is self-sacrifice. Giving of oneself, so we may gain the pleasure of seeing loved ones thrive, can never be about sacrifice. In the past we might have been told that people have given up a lot for us, or made some kind of sacrifice, but this is a lie.

    It can never be a sacrifice to give of oneself so those we love can thrive. We gain pleasure when we love. It must be a pleasure to give, because if it isn’t, this is something else entirely. We may even be seeking to control others with giving. In fact, if we want others to believe we’ve made sacrifices for them, this is all about needing control.

    Man’s need for control over other men is ever present

    This is especially the case from those who have very little control over themselves. There are times when we all feel a little out of control. This self-control is regained once we realise something fundamental: There are many things in life that are beyond our influence or control, and so much of the suffering in life, is caused through our want to chase those things, we have no real need or aptitude for.

    It’s how we view life that is important

    It’s how we react to events that determines our level of happiness. If what you are striving for seems illusive, change your perspective. It could well be that the thing you’re striving for is already where you’re at and you’re just not seeing it as such. For example, you might – on a conscious level – see success as one thing, and yet all along, the unconscious mind has been viewing things very differently. The way your unconscious mind is seeing success, may well be the very place, you’re already in! An interesting thought.

    So to sum up, it’s all about understanding the wants and needs of your mind. Your wants are built on your beliefs. What you unconsciously want, may differ greatly, to your conscious desires.

    When this kind of conflict exists the result is suffering. Suffering is eased when we have greater understanding of our unconscious beliefs. At it’s basic level, all you actually need to be a successful human being, is some of that magical ingredient called love. Send that out and it’s a need that’s easily met.