Practising Mindfulness Latest Posts

Contact: Philip@practisingmindfulness.co.uk

  • How to Live Each Day as if it Were Your Last

    Image by diapicard from Pixabay
    I’ve never really understood what it means to live each day as if it were your last – until meditating on it that is

    In a recent post I mentioned my partners brother and his illness. The news has not improved only to become ever more shocking. The hospital have now realised that his liver cancer is very aggressive and, after having discussed the options with the patient, it’s been decided he should return home. A hospice is to be arranged in order for him to live out the time he has left in relative comfort.

    When we experience this sort of thing a whole manner of thoughts crowd in. We begin to experience sadness at the impending loss. We think about all the consequences to losing someone we love. It is of course all the more painful when the person who is dying isn’t particularly old. We consider our own age and feel threatened and fearful about become so ill ourselves. We imagine the life they’re missing out on and we imagine our lives going on without their presence. We experience profound sadness. Our hearts break.

    If possible, the kind of conversation we can have, with all concerned, relates to living each day as if it were the last

    Yes, it’s only after meditating on this saying, has it started to make better sense. When I pondered on it thoughts concerning my recent activities came to mind. I’ve recently bought a motorcycle and after taking off the fairings some things have come to light. The machine was described as being in beautiful condition but, as if often the case, the previous owner made a false claim. He wasn’t lying, I believe he was simply ignorant, to the problems. Ignorant because he’d never dismantled it.

    Whenever I buy a used motorcycle I have a habit of taking it apart. I do this in order to ensure it’s properly serviced and isn’t likely to let me down. As you will understand properly maintaining a motorcycle is important because your life might depend on it. Anyway, my point is, fixing or simply maintaining motorcycles, is something I’ve been doing most of my adult life. So, in effect, everything I do, in terms of motorcycle maintenance, is only an expansion on something I’ve done before. I’m repeating myself. Most of what we do is a repeat of something we’ve either witnessed or done ourselves. Our future activities are an expansion of these things. This is why we’re so adept at forgetting the past; both the pain and pleasure. If everything we did each day was completely new and unfamiliar life would be intolerable.

    And so to get right to the point, if our lives are to be cut short, it becomes particularly painful if we cast our minds into an imaginary future

    When you’re in the present there is no such thing as the future. In order to live each day as if it were our last all we need do is remain present. To feel disappointment and sadness about an imagined future (where we’re repeating all we’ve done before) is nonsensical. There’s no puzzle on how to live each day as if it were your last, because if you’re present, no matter what it is you’re doing, it will be the last time you ever do it.

    Take control of your mind – and by extension your life – by learning how to meditate.

  • A Root to Better Things

    Mindfulness:
    • the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something
    • a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations; used as a therapeutic technique
    We know the definition, so how do we achieve it, and why is it important?

    Mindfulness is achieved through the practice of meditation. When we take time out to sit and become conscious of our thoughts, and make a habit of doing this, we become increasingly aware. We become aware of their nature. The calm acknowledgement of our thoughts involves the process of thinking about how we think. In other words, during meditation, our mindfulness is the process of self-analysis. What exactly are we thinking about? Are there images that accompany these thoughts? How do they make me feel? Are they about the past, future or are they idle ramblings, with no obvious connections?

    In terms of beginning to train the mind into becoming increasingly quiet and present, this kind of analysis, is very powerful

    The more present we are the quieter the mind. When we think of it, when the mind is exactly in the now moment, it will be silent and still. This is for the simple reason, that in the present moment now, there is actually nothing happening except the mindfulness of life itself.

    When thinking about the past, we are, on one level, attempting to relive it. We might even be trying to change how we feel about the past. Alternatively, it’s thoughts about future intentions, that make things happen, just before they do. Once we have no thoughts of this nature, the mind is quiet, still and resting. In time this is a very pleasant and comfortable place to be.

    Initially the mind will be uncomfortable with such a stasis. We’ve become extremely used and conditioned to having very busy minds. We’re always running to the next thing. In this respect many habits can be tricky to break.

    The action of thinking, analysing, plotting and planning has become habitual. We’re driven by our wants and needs and constantly processing such things. So, in order to become mindful, we begin by encouraging the mind to focus on only two or three things. We seek to exclude everything else; sidelining our needs and wants. We seek to break a habit.

    We must always be accepting

    As we identify the nature of our thoughts, they gently fade away, to be replaced with the awareness of what’s happening exactly now. This might include awareness of our breathing, the temperature in the room, and any sounds we can hear. It can take years to reach a point where our focus is only on one thing and the gaps between thoughts extended. True rest and awareness of now.

    Practice of this encourages the mind to be present the majority of the time

    Consider pondering on the observation I made earlier: in the now moment there is actually nothing happening except the mindfulness of life itself. The more we think of this the more interesting it becomes. Consider how, when sitting meditating, everything for you has stopped, whereas the rest of the world, carries on. The art of meditation is the art of stopping.

    The world is still spinning and indeed travelling through the galaxy at thousands of miles an hour. People everywhere are getting on with their day. Just how aware are these other people? How much time are they taking to be aware and mindful of what’s going on around them?

    Are others as aware of you, as you are of them, right now? 

    Not so long ago I noticed meditation and mindfulness described as a very self-centered and self-indulgent activity. This negative was meant to be discouraging. In reality, both meditation and the mindfulness it produces, are quite the opposite.

    “Under the influence of awareness, you become more attentive, understanding, and loving, and your presence not only nourishes you and makes you lovelier, it enhances them as well” – Thich Nhat Hanh

  • From Gamma to Theta (Meditation & Hypnosis)

    You might wonder if there is any value in understanding the difference between brain wave frequencies. Of course, there is value in knowing this. Knowledge awards us power! Understanding that brain waves are something we can assert control over is power within itself.

    Greater Control Over Your Mind Equals Improved Control Over Your Life

    Waves and their frequencies are measured in Hertz (Hz), and our brains (on average) have wave frequencies of between 0.5 Hz and 100 Hz. It follows a useful logic that the slower the frequency, the more relaxed we are. From lowest to highest frequencies, they are ordered in this way:

    • Delta Waves – Occur during sleep
    • Theta Waves – Occur during deep trance
    • Alpha Waves – Occur in light trance
    • Beta Waves – Occur whilst awake
    • Gamma Waves – Occur during meditation and higher cognitive reasoning

    So, Gamma, the highest wave frequency, is associated with higher cognitive function and has been found during meditation. This, in itself, is interesting, as it does confirm our findings: 

    • Meditation is of great value if improved logical reasoning, cognitive function, and stress management (awareness and attention focus) are your goals. In fact, present-focused and alert, best describes the mind state meditation can achieve. 

    Alpha and Theta waves are associated with Hypnosis (Alpha, light trance, and Theta, deep). Again, interesting, because it also confirms our findings: 

    • Light to deep levels of Hypnotic Trance (operator or self-induced) are most beneficial for developing creativeness, imagination, relaxation, the effective seating of suggestion/autosuggestion, and easing deeper psychological conflict.

    Finally, Beta is associated with being fully awake and Delta with fast asleep.

  • You Neither Succeed Nor Fail at Meditation

    Image by pasja1000 from Pixabay
    It’s no riddle only awareness

    Sometime we sit and it really is some time before we realise that our point of focus has vanished only to be replaced with thoughts. In the early stages of practicing meditation we might think of this as failure; that the mind isn’t strong enough to hold our point of focus. In one respect only is this correct.

    Holding a point of focus does take mental strength

    Even so, we mustn’t think that if we’re unable to hold our point of focus (let’s say the end of the nose) for very long, that this is failure. It simply is the fact that until we’ve built our mental strength we will only be able to hold attention – single pointedly – for brief spells. Over time this improves.

    Our meditation will change from one day to the next

    The whole point of meditation is to become aware of the changing nature of the mind. The more we have going on in our lives the more crowded our thoughts. This will be observed during meditation and as we practice every day we will become aware of how the level of focus required (to bring the mind back on point) also changes according to the level of activity in our brains.

    It is counter productive to judge

    An overly active mind that proves difficult to bring on point is this way because of judgement. We mustn’t work hard at bringing the mind on point and then judge this as a failure if it refuses. In fact, the more we work at focusing, the harder it seems to get. It can seem that the mind has become more determined at wandering off. A little like a belligerent child or a wayward puppy that won’t come to heal. If we become emotional with the child or puppy training becomes an effort. It becomes hard. So we mustn’t make a judgement we must just observe and notice the wandering nature of the mind, once we do this, we’re able to bring it back. As with any training, repetition is key.

    Remember: our repetition isn’t the key to succeeding or accomplishing anything, it is simply an effortless means, of raising our awareness.

    Raising awareness heralds change

    So now that we’re aware of the nature of mind, how it craves for stimulation and activity, we’re better able to bring the mind to where we want it. And where we want it is the present moment. Fully engaged in the present moment we’re not worrying about the future or judgmentally replaying the past. Absolutely, mindfully in the present, we’re not wanting or seeking something different from now, we’re mindfully staying away from replaying past hurts or regrets. Free from thoughts and emotions of past or future we’re fully alive in the present moment now. Mindfulness heralds change through an awareness of the present.

    It’s when the mind is wandering that stagnation in the present occurs

    Of course we must first dream of a better future and then we must take action. If we stay in wonderland the future remains a fantasy. Down the rabbit hole is a useful place for the fearful or unwell who need to escape their reality. As for the rest of us, we must stay at the surface of our awareness, and mindfulness from meditation is the tool.

  • Beautifully Mindful

    Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay
    The first thing to be aware of is that living a beautiful life takes effort and constant monitoring

    I currently live in a small but expanding town on the south coast of England called Dartmouth. It’s fairly well known for its connections to the British Navy and the fact it’s situated alongside the mouth of the river Dart. A great place, and due to this has many visitors, in particular, during the summer months. During this time it can feel a little claustrophobic.

    Many people keep their boats on the river and in addition to this there are a lot of wealthy second home owners who also visit in the summertime. An extreme example of this population explosion occurs in a town a little further along the coast called Salcombe. During the winter the population of this town is around two thousand and during the summer months this can increase to as much as twenty two thousand. Seasonal change is something the people of Devon have become accustomed to. As a means of escaping the summer occupation of Dartmouth, my partner and I keep a little caravan in a much quieter part of Devon, that isn’t quite so seasonally affected.

    Now as I’m sure you can imagine, many of the business’s in the south west of England are dependent on the tourist industry. For example, there’s a little business, recently established alongside the river Dart, that teaches people how to paddleboard. There is some unfortunate news in that they’ve recently had most of their boards and paddles stolen. Even so, I’ve no doubt they’re insured and will soon be back in business teaching people how to have fun on the river very soon. There is a point to all of this that I’ll come back to. In the meantime consider this statement:

    I care about me more than I care about anybody else

    No matter how idyllic or stress-free the setting, if the mind isn’t absolutely present, this environment will never be fully experienced or appreciated. In this regard, at some point during our lives, we will all face challenges and distractions from our plans. On some level we all plan to have a nice time and enjoy our lives as much as possible. Even so, it’s interesting how many of us aren’t able to appreciate, and sometimes even recognise, when we’ve reached one of the markers we’ve set ourselves. A prime example of this would be to overly involve ourselves with the troubles of others.

    Take the stolen paddleboards. On hearing the news we might become saddened or angered and we might (as was the case) exaggerate the facts. One local person took it on themselves to spread the gossip that the paddleboard thieves – rather than stealing everything – had vindictively broken the paddles. This wasn’t true and is example of someone becoming overly involved with the distress of others and then needing to spread this negativity. If we want a comfortable, stress-free existence, we must constantly monitor and be aware of our thoughts and behaviour. We must also monitor to what extent we allow the thoughts and behaviours of others to affect us.

    Another example concerns the inability to distance ourselves from the troubles of family members. We have ties to family that place demands on our time and energy. Once family members have reached adulthood it is expected that they’re then able to take full responsibility for themselves. There are times when this can’t be the case (perhaps due to unforeseen illness) and so family members must step in to help. Even so, through having awareness and control over our minds, we’re able to separate, compartmentalize and prioritise ourselves.

    You must always place yourself as the priority and be aware of how easily you can be distracted

    Remember: no matter how beautiful the setting and the life, if you’re not fully engaged with this – in the moment – it will all be for nothing. Take control of your mind, through learning how to successfully meditate, so that you may improve everyday mindfulness.

    When it comes to the troubles of other this is an occasion when it is of great value to cast the mind forward to a time when the troubles are over. No matter the problem it will always come to an end. Everything has an ending. In predicting the future we’re also able to see how things always average out and in the end.

    So we can see the value in keeping the mind present and we can also see how casting the mind forward also has value. My partner and I understand how claustrophobic Dartmouth can get in the summer and we compensate for this through planning our little escapes. Without occasionally thinking ahead this wouldn’t be possible. When we’re at our caravan our minds must be present and enjoying what we’ve created there. And the same applies when we’re in Dartmouth.

    Engaged in the present moment we feel everything that is occurring now. If in this moment things are not as we want them, there is a tendency to need escape. It’s a fabulous survival strategy. However, for us to live fully, we must be prepared to experience all of the aspects presented to us. If we lazily allow our minds to constantly wander off we will often delay making necessary changes.

    In contrast, if we have reached a point in our lives where it feels like plans are coming together, we can easily be distracted by the troubles of others. We can be driven by the negative forces of guilt. Once again if we’re allowing our minds to wander off we can forget that everyone has a responsibility to themselves. We all have the ability to plan and care for ourselves within these plans. If others have failed to do this, failed at getting their insurance in order, we must be aware that there is no value in sharing the discomfort they might experience as a result. There is no value in you experiencing it with them. Others must be left to wonder how you mange to remain present and happy.

  • This Extraordinary Moment

    Image by Reimund Bertrams from Pixabay
    Human history is full of extraordinary moments

    Even though this is true, when we bring things down to a personal level, it really is only this present moment now that matters. Of course the important proviso is, that you’re actually fully aware, and immersed in this moment now.

    For me, being fully in the moment, involves an awareness of just how weird and wonderful everything is. I imagine myself feeling similar to how a child must feel when viewing everything for the first time. There is an added appreciation of this due to my awareness of just how much I don’t know or can come close to understanding. This only makes the moment even more fascinating.

    All in all, human drama, pales into insignificance, when we glance at the bigger picture

    We mustn’t become self-absorbed as a result of being present. There is the tendency to be this way during meditation. In fact, on reading a lot of the literature surrounding the subject, we can be misled into thinking that meditation is all about the self. Initially, it might start off this way, and yet in time we must gain an awareness, through our meditation, of our place in the world. Through this, we can gain a sense of how small and insignificant we are, and there is value in this.

    The value, in seeing our insignificance, comes from understanding proportion

    If we become overly absorbed with our own lives and problems we can easily make the mistake of losing our sense of proportion. Fear of death or illness is a prime example. Stepping outside of ourselves, we see how the bigger picture can help us to appreciate, that there really is, only one moment we can live in. It’s a bit like the wealthy man with all his money, possessions, and places he can be. He can only ever be in one place at a time. The more we grasp, and want to claim for ourselves, outside of this one moment, the less we’re actually alive. The more we have the more distracted the mind is from appreciating our insignificance. Never see insignificant as a negative. When we are insignificant so are our problems.

    Take a moment to wonder at what exists outside and then marvel at the very fact you have an awareness of this

    It may seem a very strange thing to assert, that within the grand scheme of things, you are no more then a spec of dust. None of us. Not even the wealthy and powerful. I believe true power comes from an awareness of this. There is true power in knowing that you know nothing and there is true power in understanding your insignificance.

    I would much rather this than live the life of a dreamer seeking the illusion of recognition or significance. But then again, if none of us had dreamt of something different, would we have ever reduced the suffering we experienced in the past? An interesting question is it not? Perhaps, through understanding our individual insignificance, we could dream of a better future for all.

  • Find the Stillness

    Image by Ylanite Koppens from Pixabay 
    Whatever is happening to you

    Even if that dog owner is saying “fuck you” by allowing their dog to piss up your front door, find the stillness.

    Even if that man is using his fists, find the stillness.

    And if that woman is manipulating you emotionally because you can’t say no, find the stillness.

    The only way to find it is to remain indifferent, impartial and non-judgmental

    The dog owner, the wife beater and the abusive woman hold no power over the individual who can calmly endure.

    Endure with a stillness that enables you to reason with yourself. A calm reasoning that enables you to know what you must do next.

    The inconsiderate or abusive human being shall simply receive your thanks

    That’s right! Thank them for showing you the damage to their soul and, providing you survive, thank them for showing you how important you are and how afraid of you they’ve become. Know you can’t have frightened people in you life and that is all they are. Your stillness will be based on love and because you’re able to connect with that – daily through your mindfulness practice – it remains as you endure.

    know you only need endure their fear and ugliness for a short period as your mind calmly shows you the exit route. And you’ll never need to stop them weeping for their loss, they’ve never been in love.

  • Discover Reality and Stop Yearning for the Unobtainable

    Image by Joshua Woroniecki from Pixabay 
    Self-analysis can result in release from chasing the unobtainable

    We could spend our entire lives frustratingly seeking the love, acceptance and approval of a long dead parent, or we could engage in analysis and free ourselves. With that said, the discovery of truth can be excruciatingly painful, which is of course why most people look to avoid it.

    Finding your true self is how to achieve contentment

    And so how do we know when we’ve found our true selves? What does true self actually mean? The identity we discover, and much of what we choose to do, can be traced back to our childhood need for love and acceptance. As time moves forward the origins of our identity and drivings sink down to the unconscious level and the reasons for what we do go along with it. We just blindly go on not really understanding what the motivations were or are. And yet when we find frustration in our pursuits, bringing these now unconscious aspects to the surface, proves useful. This is how to discover our true self. We do this by recognising how we may be chasing the unobtainable. We then stop and choose pursuits that are based on reality.

    Your true self can be exactly what you want it to be

    Believe it or not, seeing the truth could help us decide to stay with our chosen identity and continue along the path we’re on, but instead of frustration, this time, we can find success. The difference being that we now understanding how our frustration was due to an unconscious yearning that could never be satisfied. The addicts (past or present) among us can relate to this.

    Addiction is driven by a longing that can never be satisfied. The addiction is there simply because the addict is trying to satisfy – or quieten – an unconscious longing or destructive emotion. I can clearly remember the alcohol, or whatever, just not quite hitting the mark. Ever.

    Freedom

    As a result of discovering the truth, we can make a conscious choice to either form a new identity, or continue with what we have. In either case we can experience freedom. Freedom from chasing illusions and the unobtainable. Our energy is focused in an entirely different way. We are no longer chasing shadows.

  • Kindness . . . Where will that get me?

    Image by Александр Мартинкевич from Pixabay
    Hate is on the agenda, the 1% are getting attention, so the rest of us need to work harder

    In light of that heading let’s just remind ourselves what there is to gain from kindness. You never know, this short post might make you aware of something, you didn’t previously know. And once reminded of the benefits and power of kindness we’re then much more likely to spread the message.

    It does seem the media are focusing on hate and deep down we all know why; it grabs attention. We’re bombarded at the moment with all the incidents of hate and the consequences. Our curiosity is piqued, we want to know how tough others lives are. We want to feel some light relief and distraction from our own problems. This is the human condition and the media know it. On the back of this we must always remember the figures in my opening heading: it’s the 1% we’re currently having an issue with and if it wasn’t for the media they wouldn’t have a voice and our lives would be less affected. Unfortunately, that isn’t the world we currently live in. So the antidote is for the rest of us to focus more intently on kindness, the advantages to us, and how we can spread it around a bit.

    Spread it like chocolate spread on toast or marmite if that’s your preference

    Let’s start with the understanding of where kindness will get us. In days of old we believed that kindness would earn us merit and increase the chances of being taken off to a better place after death. Of course many people still believe this, and yet fail at being kind, so that ones out the window. However, there is another slant, on the kindness issue. And even though you won’t earn merit in the heaven stakes, what you will earn, is a calmer state of mind. You will earn peace of mind.

    The way this works is simple. Before explaining that we must start with understanding hate

    Let’s say for example you object to the actions, campaigning, beliefs – or whatever – of a certain individual, and you would like them to stop. Let’s say you decide to start your own campaign of hate. Straight away we can know that this kind of strategy might make you feel better for a short while and indeed you might feel that it is having an effect. Over time though, this kind of thinking, begins to create rot.

    The hatred begins to compound itself and its force becomes stronger. It permeates through your entire being. In the end it will always end in tears. We can go further. At its root, hate, is fear. It could be that it’s the campaigning of others that is a threat to your beliefs and way of life. When such things are threatened fear is triggered at a deep level. We only need to question the shaky beliefs of religious zealots to see how fear manifests itself.

    So instead let’s say you begin a campaign of kindness

    As mentioned, kindness offers peace of mind and calmness to the giver. This works in the same way that hating compounds hate. Kindness compounds kindness through tapping into the associated emotion: Love. Yeap, love is the word. And that is what we need more of.

    So how do we start a campaign of kindness when we are afraid? Well we must own up. We must own up to our fear. When we are afraid it is almost impossible to project love and kindness. Owning up to this defuses its power. When we say: “Yeap, what you are doing frightens me,” we defuse the hate that’s there on all sides. We then begin to build a common understanding of how we can move forward from the issues at hand.

    The individual who is campaigning against what he sees as wrongdoing must recognize the hate that exists within him

    Such an individual may think that his campaigning is doing good, and yet fail to see how his beliefs in right and wrong, are the real problem. When we’re offering kindness to each other right and wrong cease to exist. We begin to understand the viewpoints of all concerned.

    So there we are. Do yourself a favour and offer kindness today. It will calm you and offer a peace of mind that facilitates understanding. When we understand the fear, love, is free to roam.

  • Beans on Toast

    Image by Andi Perdana from Pixabay 
    There are times when all we want is uncomplicated nutrition

    It’s the staff of life isn’t it? Beans on Toast. Tasty, simple and easy to cook. And how lovely it is to be offered something simple that’s tasty and nutritious. So how about a little Beans on Toast for the mind? How about something that’s simple yet easy to understand, universal in it’s nature, and powerfully beneficial in the real world.

    So often nowadays the information we’re bombarded with is complicated, unnecessary and often confusing. We have people with Degree’s in everything from Jazz Dance to Surf Science and we’re all trying to be smarter and wealthier than the next person as a result. I really feel it’s time to get back to basics and remind ourselves about some important healthy mind ingredients.

    Let’s start with togetherness

    Even though governments have successfully instilled the importance of keeping socially distant, wearing masks and washing hands etc, we must remember how importance it is that we retain an awareness of how crucial our togetherness is. All we need do is simply remind ourselves that we are in fact all in this together. We might need to remain mindful of not transferring a virus, yet we must also remain mindful of compassion, gentleness and our oneness.

    The emptiness of no identity is all about recognising our oneness

    In some respects the Buddhists are on to something with their concept of emptiness. They say that we are all intrinsically interdependent and there is no such thing as I. In this respect, if we weren’t all so keen and building such powerful identities, perhaps we would gain a better sense of how we are all one; one species that is interdependent with everything around us.

    But let’s not get too distracted, Buddhism is certainly one of those subjects that we humans have chosen to overcomplicate. Suffice to say, when we put aside our precious identity and look a little deeper, we will clearly see the oneness we posses with each and everyone around us. Know that the man or woman who seems so different to you is in fact, at their root, the same as you. It is our failing to recognize this fundamental truth that causes our prejudice, hatred and opinions, to form. At root we are all one.

    Love is not something to work at it is something to feel for ourselves

    Our togetherness is so much easier to foster once we see the importance of love for ourselves. We must remember that the aspects we dislike about ourselves are something that has been taught to us – or learned by us as a result of childhood confusion. We project these (often unconscious) unlikable aspects on to others. We feel prejudice toward others when we believe in there being something wrong; that there is something wrong with how a person behaves, looks or sounds. That there is something wrong with us. Forget wrong or right. See the whole person. See them just as you are: Learning to be a better person. Learning how to become whole.

    So there we are, some simple nutrition for the mind. And you know what? I fancy some beans on toast for my tea. How about you?